Men are visual, meaning they are stimulated by the visual. Thus they find porn stimulating. Men also think about sex about every 6 minutes, so it's an outlet for them. Women are intellectual. We're stimulated by thoughts -- mentally. Pictures don't do so much for us. Why does the porn bother you? Is it because he looks at it all the time? Is it the type of porn (hard core...deviant...etc) that he looks at? If it's just the tame Playboy type, I'd let it go (and do read the articles, they're really good!) If it's hardcore and makes you uncomfortable, I'd question whether I wanted to remain with this guy.
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Name : Rachel, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 36, City : Niagara-on-the-Lake, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Yep, I'd quit right away. Funny you ask because my girlfriend enjoys it more than I do. Maybe it is a libido thing. I don't find it harmful, but if you do, you may want to figure out what it is that bothers you about it first.
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Name : Steve, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 29, City : Omaha, State : NE Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I would not stop, I would not look at it in front of her, but I definitely would not stop. If she is that insecure about herself and the strength of the relationship, then that is just the tip of the iceberg. My girlfriend has no problem with it, I am a photographer and collect several types of photographic images, some of which are nudes / erotic. Sometimes we will throw on a porn vid while we are having sex, it just adds a different spice.
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Name : Ken26418, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 40, City : Peoria, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I'm kind of a porn fan, myself. I'm not proud of the fact, but not exactly ashamed of it, either. Men (and women) have utilized porn since the first Trogolodyte carved a 'boo-boo doll' out of a hunk of wood from the fire pit. I suppose if my mate was really opposed to it, I could live without it. But my preference would be to find a woman who also enjoyed it;that way it could be something to bring us closer together, rather than push us apart.
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Name : Mike T., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40s, City : Grand Rapids, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Editor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Not that an extensive and publicly displayed porn collection wouldn't creep me out, but if it's just a couple of mags under the bed, is it really such a big issue? If you have a healthy sex life, I'd look into why his looking at porn bugged me. Insecurity can poison even the best relationships.
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Name : Hazel, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Grant Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Itt's a psychological addiction, especially for guys who didn't get a lot of sex during their teens. From 14-21 is the sexual peak of men, and most don't get any. 99 percent of guys masturbate and 1 percent lie about it. Personally, I masteubate twice a day, every day. I have been in sexually active relationships and though it's a thousand times better, I still masturbated during the course of the relationship. If you begin to look at porn every time you masturbate, you become creatively dependent on it, too.
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Name : Marcus24904, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Montreal, Quebec, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Yes, I would stop looking if I felt we had a great sexual relationship, because it simply wouldn't be worth the risk of losing that. In my experience, however, many women think they have a 'great sexual relationship,' when in fact their men are unsatisfied. The men will never admit this to their female partners, however, for fear they will be punished for not appreciating the sex they do have by getting even less of it (or less of the sexual activities they enjoy most). If a man has a partner who is bothered by his looking at porn and he won't stop, my guess is that the sexual relationship isn't really 'great' from his point of view.
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Name : D-King, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 33, City : Sacramento, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Short answer: no. Long answer: Forget about the fact that it's porn for a second. People in a relationship should never try to change the other person in any way. That's a recipe for disaster. If this is a trait that you know about him, you have to deal with it or leave the relationship. There are many other things that women can, for the most part, accept. Like watching football all day or the occasional fart. Yet they feel porn should be treated differently. And, as the previous responder pointed out, it's because women feel that it has something to do with the relationship or the sex. Let me be very clear, it doesn't. You are not being compared to the girls in the films. Sex is a part of life. Porn is a diversion from life. It's that simple. I have yet to have a guy friend that does not partake in some form of pornography. Some have full families, some are married, some single, some dating. But we all agree, it's just another piece of entertainment. It doesn't mean anything. Given all that, there's no reason to stop. There's only two exceptions I will make: if you're not into it, he should not expose you to it in any way. And, if it gets to be an obsession where it is actually interefering with the sexual relationship. Other than that, bring it on!
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Name : Ralph, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Bergen County, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, At the beginning of our relationship 5 yrs ago, my (now) fiancee had dozens of Playboys stashed in his bathroom closet. I was so uncomfortable and self-concious, that I pretended I never saw them and refused to approach the subject myself....until, a month later, I lashed out and unintentionally made him feel extrememly guilty. Since then, I've come to somewhat understand his taste in visual fantasies (he never shows me, but I'll find them on the computer every once in a while). And it really confuses me and makes me curious, because his taste is totally different.....it's like a whole new side of him I would love to know.....I don't know if he'll ever share this part of himself with me, he is pretty secretive about it. Did I ruin it by making him feel guilty about the magazines? How can I change this, so we can both enjoy it, with eachother???
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Name : Sharon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Portland, State : OR Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, If I was with a woman I was attracted to, had a great relationship with, had great sex with, and trusted, you bet I would give up porn for her. Mind you, this is only for a woman I think I am going to marry. If it is too early in the relationship to tell if I want to marry her, then no I would not give it up.
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Name : SoulStormBrew, Gender : M, Age : 26, City : Emporia, State : KS Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, It's not as simple as something to get off with between or in place of girlfriends. I believe it is a collection of fantasies. Men will buy movies or magazines featuring women that remind us of an old flame, or a crush, the neighbor's wife or something unrealized. Simple coveting by proxy is my theory.
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Name : R.M., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 36, City : Buffalo, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : service ind., Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Scary message. Question is if you have a 'great sexual relationship' why does your partner need to view pornos alone or with you? Does he get more 'turned on' looking at videos than he gets from being with you? Sorry but it seems to me something is amiss here. Either the relationship isn't as great --- sexually or otherwise --- as you think or he's looking for ways or ideas from the videos for you and he to try out to 'spice' up the relationship. That being said, after I viewed one video with multiple vignettes, not much learning occurred after the first man/woman, man/two women, woman/woman, and two men/one woman. They all tended to have the same music and sexual acts. If you've 'done it all' I'd say it shouldn't be too hard for your guy to give up the videos for the 'real' thing. If he can't, what are you prepared to do?
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Name : Jerry-D30950, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 60, City : Marco Island, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : retired, prof of psych, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I'm a recently married man and couldn't be happier in my relationship with my wife, however, I really enjoy porn. I use porn like many men do, as a visual and mental stimulus. Some people enjoy looking at art (painting, sculpture, etc). Well, I see naked women as art. I find nothing more beautiful than a naked woman. If my wife asked me to stop looking at porn, I'd have to say no. I don't look at it to cheat. I don't look at it so that when we're together I can have another image in my mind. I look at it because I find it mentally stimulating. Occasionally I use the mental images when I'm masturbating, but I'm just as apt to use mental images of my wife when I'm masturbating (and BTW, if/when you become married, your husband will still jerk off, probably more often than now, but that's nothing against you, it just happens). Porn has also helped me to become a better lover. I've been able to learn new positions and techniques through porn that, quite frankly, I'm just not imaginative enough to come up with on my own. The response to the new techniques has almost always been a positive one and is often accompanied by comments like 'That was new! I really liked that. Where'd you ever come up with that idea?!' So porn can be a great way of expanding your sexual horizons. You need to understand that men and women are two completely different animals and view sex and sexual things in different ways. We (men) see sex as 95% physical. Sure, when we're with women (or men if that's their bag) that we care about, the afterglow and pre-event tentsions are higher and it's an overall more enjoyable experience, but that's a mental thing and not a physical one. The physical enjoyment of a woman we love is no different than that of a one night stand. Lighten up and let the man have his porn. It might just keep his eyes from wandering and make your relationship not only stronger, but more intense and more varied.
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Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 34, City : Shirley, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I would venture to guess that if he's watching porn perhaps there's something he's not getting in bed. Has he asked for something and you dismiss it because you think it perverted/disgusting ? You say your sex life is great but maybe that's just you're opinion - have you asked him ? Another thing to be aware of and I notice this about women is that my girlfreind tells me I never ask for sex - I tell her that I do but that she's always tired or doing something else. What you have here is a person who thinks they're listening but not really. Tap into what he's asking you - try it for a week - a month and write it down on a 3x5 card and look at it after a month. I think you'll be surprised.
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Name : Andrew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 47, City : Parker, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : Information Technology, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, If the relationship is as you say, then I think giving up porn would not be a problem. And yes, I would. The use of porn to fill a void in a relationship, be it an act that one partner will not do or a hidden / secret fantasies, can reduce stress in a relationship. As you describe it, the relationship is 'great', so both partners must feel completely content and satisfied.
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Name : Charles, Gender : M, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, 
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