OK, I know that my first time will very likely be painful. My question is, if I use lubrication, will it be less so? And is there any certain position that won't hurt as much? Should I put a towel underneath myself so I don't stain his sheets?
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Name : Rina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Royal Palm Beach, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Using lubrication does lessen the pain, but there is no sure-fire position that will not hurt for a virgin. It will probably hurt in any position, since you have not had intercourse. After the first few times, it probably won't hurt as much. And about the towel, I'm guessing you've always heard about the hymen ripping and bleeding profusely when ripped. Well, that is wrong. A woman's hymen can be ripped at any stage in their life, without intercourse, especially if they are active in sports. Even a mere tampon can rip it. And if it does rip, there won't be a ton of blood, so don't worry about it that much. Just go with the flow and have a good time when you are with your partner, and always use protection.
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Name : Sabrina, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 18, City : Harrisburg, State : AR Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, It might hurt less if you go on top and control the speed and depth of the thrusts.
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Name : Rick29823, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, City : Springfield, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Your first time shouldn't be too painful at this point; you are completely sexually mature and you probably don't even have you hymen anymore. As for lubrication, hopefully your body will naturally take care of that. Meaning you are really in the mood and feeling aroused. I hope you are b/c if you are going to wait this long it should be as good as possible. But if not K_Y personal lubricant is cheap, easy to come by, and non-assuming. I personally don't recomend the 'warming liquid', but I know people who like it. I think that missionary position will probably be the most comfortable for you... he does all the work and you can really spread your legs. But, if there is a position that you really like when making out, try that position too. Doggy-style is a really comfortable position, but you may not want to lose your virginity that way, ya know?! I doubt that yu need to put down a towel but by all means if you think its just gonna burst out, pls do. But be sure it is a crappy towel. I just read an article that 36% of all new HIV infections (World Wide) are in women in monogamous relationships, so be careful. Durex extra sensitive lubricated latex are the #1 best condom. GOOD LUCK! P.S. As far as lubrication, Planned Parenthood has some different kinds in sample size, so go pick some up.
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Name : Alison Garahan, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 24, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, You should ask your gynochologist this question. He will specifically ask you if you masterbate, and when/if you have were you sufficiently self lubricating. Your first partner should give you plenty of time to relax, and give the best foreplay possible to bring your sexual apparatis to full reception (ie. expanded, and wet.) Don't push yourself beyond pain, go slow, and be sure and communicate openly with your lover just how coomfortable, uncomfortable things are. Some women will need to raise their legs to the back of their mates back (in missionary position) so as to facilitate entry. In rare cases the woman's uterus is extended or reversed, making the 'legs up' a better way for the male to 'dovetail' with her. Hope I've helped, I really think you should ask your gynochologist these questions before you go ahead.
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Name : Michael White, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 55, City : Bedford, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Landlord, freelance artist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Hi. First time responding but thought I'd give what advice I can on this one. From personal experience, you're right that it can be somewhat painful [not much worse than bad menstral cramps]. As for lubrication, I'd think that it might help -- I know that during sex I find that if I'm not properly, um, excited, it can be a little uncomfortable. As for position, I think girl on top might help -- you'd control how fast things went -- but then again if you're too timid you might prolong the uncomfortableness [not even sure if that's a word] so it might be better if he was controling the show, so to speak -- you know yourself so whatever you think might be best. I know for me, it was him on top and I think that was probably for the best. As for the blood, it wouldn't hurt. There's no guarantee that there will be an appreciable amount but if it would make you relax more knowing the towel was there, go for it. In my case, there was a little [just a few spots] but it came out when I washed my sheets without any problem -- I've had worse menstral stains. On a final note [feel like I've rambled on for too long already but what the heck], I think things will be alright as long as you're sure he's the right one, you're totally comfortable with him and you remember that sex is [or should be] about being close to someone one a entirely different & wonderful level. Good luck to you.
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Name : Rona, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 28, City : Rochester, State : MN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, The 'pain' is sometimes overstated. It's a relative thing. You may have some and you may not. Most young women will not need any outside lubrication - If you are aroused you'll make plenty. Take your time. Remember to breathe. Try to stay relaxed and not tense. If you have made a decision that you are ready for this then trust your decision and just get swept away in the moment. Positions - Being on top will put you in control of depth and speed and may allow you to relax more. For many women this is a favorite position. It allows you to experiment with what feels good to you. Missionary position is popular for a reason, it feels particularly intimate and allows for kissing and eye contact. I say don't worry about staying on a towel. The sheets will wash. Throw caution to the wind, don't just lose you virginity, make love.
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Name : D31843, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Lubrication will help. You get on top so as to be able to control depth and speed of penetration. A towel might be a good idea.
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Name : John29174, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Not much, Age : 50, City : Durham, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Gynecologist, I think you shouldn't worry about staining your sheets, the blood dripping is a myth unless that someone thrusts extremely hard. Again it won't gush out but it will cause some internal bleeding/alittle leakage. As for less painful & positioning. The lubricant(KY Jelly, Astrolube) will make it smoother to insert but if your really into it then you will get moist yourself and that alone should make it easy/less painful for you. HINT: Try alot of foreplay before you do anything so as you can stimilate the vagina to get moist. Positions is all about what makes you comfortable, for beginners try 'MISSIONARY'; where you lay on your back and he is on top. Last but not least stay relaxed, the more nervous you are the more tense your muscles will be and that alone will make it tighter for him to insert his penis. So stay relaxed, foreplay & enjoy. Good Luck. P.S. watch out for the losers, don't give it up to just anybody.
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Name : andrew, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Catholic, Age : 33, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, My 'first time' did not hurt at all! I guess I am one of those who was born without a hymen. As a matter of fact, it was SO BORING that I could not believe what all they hype was about!!!! (Now that I am older its a little more enjoyable, but I STILL think sex is over-rated!) In any case, a thought I had was that if you are very fearful of pain, blood, etc. I am pretty sure that you can go to a gynecologist and have them 'pop' it for you. You may even be able to get some painkillers and I'm sure it would be much more 'sterile' and clean. I know I have heard that you can get this done. If you should choose to do this and your guy questions it or the whole 'virginity' thing-tell him honestly that you wanted to avoid pain and mess. If he's some 'macho' sort who really wants to 'pop' it himself, then he's a jerk to be gotten rid of anyway. Oh and one more thing: I see you say you are Catholic. Please keep in mind that the churches view of virginity, stemming from the old days, is mostly to do with male control of MONEY- they wanted to make sure the children were theirs, so they passed their money to true heirs. I certainly do not mean to offend you and respect your views, I say this so you will think when men pressure you to do things (whether its sex OR remaining a virgin). It is YOUR body, just remember that. Reading some feminist literature may give you some food for thought-doesn't mean you have to AGREE with it, but its good to consider all points of view. (Goes for all subjects, yes?) Good Luck! PS Lube always helps! Virgin or not!
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Name : Nikki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Lube will definitely help. If you are a girl who gets really wet, you should probably use a towel, or even two! I dont know if any position helps in particular, but the main thing is to take it slow and easy. Dont let him rush it and just slam it in there at mach ten. Take a while to get it in there, and let yourself adjust to it before proceeding. Good luck!
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Name : Joe26504, City : Tokyo, State : NA Country : Japan, Definitely yes to putting down a towel, or three - for the next 2-3 'sessions'. Also, make sure you put a towel in between your legs when you're done and running to the bathroom - it still pours out! Make sure you wear a pad. No one ever told me this, so I had quite a mess. Yes, lubrication helps, but it's still going to hurt like hell. Just do 'missionary' for now, and wait on crazy positions until the bleeding stops.
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Name : Susan29219, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 21, City : South Lyon, State : MI Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class, You may want to try on top. More influence over pacing might help with the pain; and your partner may welcome the expression of enthusiasm in your more active participation. While it's more of a workout for you, you may find that the exertion improves your overall experience.
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Name : Bill, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Wow, im not sure who you have been talking to but I never had a bleeding problem. As far as pain goes, I somehow missed that too. I was lucky to have my first contact with someone that was slow and gentle. I would not expect to be bleeding and it hurting like hell. If that were the case not too many people would continue to engage in sexual activities. If you are dry in that area your 1st time use lubercation, but if your not dry, you will not need it. Don't be scared, don't plan on bleeding and for goodness sakes don't expect it to be a painful miserable experience. It usually helps to wait until you have met the man that you feel is the love of your life, thats more than 1/2 the battle to getting your 1st time right!!
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Name : Julie S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 35, City : Spokane, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, My first time was definitely not painful at all, and I never had any bleeding, so I suspect the idea that *everyone* has a hard time is erroneous. And at your age, you probably don't need extra lubrication, either--not unless your partner is uncaring and abrupt. If he doesn't give you enough time to become aroused, then you won't have enough natural lubrication. But if he's into foreplay, and is sensitive to your needs, you'll be fine. Just make sure he knows it's your first time and that he needs to be slow and gentle. Good luck!
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Name : T-OReilly31539, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 45, City : South Bend, State : IN Country : United States, 
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