Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 34 replies, 35 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 12 months ago by
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While I don’t excuse your friend’s rudeness, there are certainly good reasons behind her firm response at the club. Too often, when a woman makes basic, polite conversation with a man who’s sexually interested in her, she’s accused of ‘leading him on’ or being a ‘tease.’ Some men seem to view conversation or a drink as entitling them to something. Also, men seem to view basic conversation as an entree to start pressuring the woman to date or do him, and no one wants to fend off unwanted advances. Also, if she is there to hook up, she doesn’t want to spend her time chatting with someone she’s not interested in – who does? If women are sometimes rude, it’s because we’re put (often unwillingly) into awkward situations by men – not all of us handle it as gracefully as we’d like, but who says we have to let some guy we don’t know down easy?
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Name : Anna23817, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Age : 28, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States,Not all women are this way. I am not, and I wish no one else was, either. I think it has to do with a person’s background. Say for instance that a middle-aged woman has severe issues with her mother. This woman is more likely to have problems getting along with other women. This behavior works with everything. I have problems with people treating me ‘too’ nice. I always try to be prepared for the ‘real person.’
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Name : Cheryl32321, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Unsure of sexual orientation, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 25, City : Cincinnati, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College,There is no excuse for your friend’s behavior. No matter what the level of interest, she should always be polite, unless the man is too persistent. The friend who was asked what her name meant should have simply explained it to him. He probably thought it was beautiful and simply wanted to know its meaning. I’ve asked the same thing of men and never gotten treated like that.
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Name : Tonya M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 35, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Coordinator, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Women, in general, have much more class than what was demonstrated by your friend. The girls I’ve known show much more courtesy and politeness. I think your buddy has a big case of narcissism and really needs to calm down.
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Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Huntington Beach, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : entrepreneur, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,Women think it’s all right to treat men like that, but they think it’s rude if we do it!
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Name : matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Lenoir, State : NC, Country : United States,For some women, it is simply a game, and for others it is a play for power. There is also another game involved, and that is ‘cat & mouse.’ Women sometimes like the idea of a man being interested in them, knowing she will not give him the time of day. Just that amount of power she holds to reject him is golden. It is highly ironic. Often, single women talk about how they would like for men to approach them more frequently, but when those opportunities present themselves, they ignore the man as if they are too good. I am not saying all women are like this, but many behave in this manner.
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Name : Namrata, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 26, City : Ontario, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : German Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m not sure what made your friend respond like that, but I don’t think it’s okay to treat people that way. As a single woman, I am approached by men all the time in every situation. I can’t buy gas without being asked out. And it seems that the only reason this happens is that I’m nice. If I smile at the grocery clerk he thinks I want him. It has gotten kind of annoying and sometimes I just want to be left alone. Maybe your friend feels the same way. My problem is that it seems men just hit on all women they meet and pursue them until they get shot down, to improve their odds of getting laid. So maybe this lady is smart to shut him down before he really starts bugging her, if she knows she doesn’t want anything from him. But she could probably find a better way than the hand thing.
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Name : Kelly26565, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 24, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States,Some women deserve to be called b**ches, if that is what they are representing. She was probably one of those women with that ‘I don’t need a man’ mentality. All women don’t treat men like that. If a guy comes up to me and tries to talk, I will hold a conversation with him. If he tries to get closer, I just say I’m not interested in him that way.
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Name : Shay S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Cleveland, State : MS, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,The way women treat men is simply inhuman. Have you ever spoken to a woman and weren’t even worthy of ‘the hand’? She just stares straight ahead as if you’re not even speaking. I’ve gotten it at least twice. Women think nothing of kicking a man in the teeth as if he doesn’t feel a thing, and then expect him to come back again and again. That’s why they can’t meet a ‘good’ or ‘nice’ man. Good men are tired of the game playing.
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Name : Nathan20130, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30's, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,I do not think it is OK for women to treat men like your friend did – especially the extremely rude ‘talk to the hand’ stuff. I don’t think anyone should treat anyone, male or female, with such disdain. I’ve had similar experiences, except that when I’ve turned a guy down politely, I’ve been verbally assaulted with a torrent of ‘bitch,’ ‘ho,’ ‘you think you’re all that,’ etc. It’s unfortunate that some people have no home training.
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Name : Jay31325, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : New York, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree with you, Craig. That is so rude. Say no thank you, but don’t be a bitch.
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Name : Marie, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : Southfield, State : MI, Country : United States,Some women would be more rude than that. When it comes to guys, even in a club, the women are very rude to whoever they think is not their type. There are some women who are shy and not even open to men who try to say ‘Hi.’
I believe it is not OK to treat a man like this, no matter how you see that person or how they may act when they come up to a woman. I feel that when a men comes up to a woman, the woman should act like an adult and not some kid who plays little games. She should just say, ‘I am here with my friends and not trying to get picked up right now,’ etc.
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Name : Veronica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 17, City : Daly City, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Middle class,I do not think it is nice or acceptable to treat people that way. Your friend was really rude. I always say treat people as you would want to be treated. Suppose the girl in the club got up enough nerve to say hi to someone she wanted to talk to, and he did the same to her? She would probably feel very bad. There are polite ways to let someone know you want to be left alone or are not interested. Most folks can tell, by your actions, whether you are a smart (polite and respectful) person or an ignorant (rude and disrespectful) person. First impressions are lasting ones.
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Name : Sammi B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 35, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : Office Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think when men or women have been treated rudely or badly by the opposite sex, too many times they cease to see individuals and instead see only ‘all men’ or ‘all women’ and make snap judgments. In this case, the guy could have been an arsehole, in which case she’s saved herself some trouble. Then again, he couldv’e been this great guy that she’s just passed up. Plus, when people have this ‘must find a partner at all costs’ mentality, it kind of shows on their faces, and they then become even less attractive.
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Name : A.J.B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 37, City : Melbourne, State : NA, Country : Australia, Occupation : Tech Support, Social class : Middle class,I’m not the average female, obviously, but I am a lesbian and I get really sick of being approached by straight men. I usually try to get away without being rude, just by saying, ‘No, thankyou’ or whatever, but they won’t give up. They pursue you until you have to be rude or literally run away. For example, a man in a shop asked me, ‘Are you married?’, I said, ‘No’, ‘So, you’re single?’, ‘Yes’, ‘Are you looking for a boyfriend?’, ‘No’, ‘Well, I find you rather attractive. Would you like to go out with me?’, ‘No, thankyou.’ I ran away at that point, because I don’t think I should have to justify myself to straight men.
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Name : Cassandra, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : Sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia,
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