Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 110 replies, 111 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 3 months ago by
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- Why don't teens cherish their virginity anymore? Why would you want to lose it so fast, and to someone you're guaranteed not to be with 20 years from now? I'm 17 and cherish my virginity very much, and plan to save it until my wedding day. Doesn't anyone care about this anymore?
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Name : Anna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Memphis, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,I guess we teenagers don't see it as 'losing your virginity' anymore. Losing your virginity before marriage is not a big deal anymore to most people. I know it's not to me.User Detail :
Name : Jerry S., Gender : M, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,For some teens, there is nothing wrong about having sex. 'Losing their virginity' is just a part of growing up. While my husband and I were each other's first, we did not wait until marriage, and I'm glad we didn't. Our wedding night was hectic enough without added expectations. I do wish that one of us had more experience, though, because having sex is not as easy or romantic as it appears in movies. It takes work. Sorry to say, but your first time will probably not be all that you expected - no matter what the age. Hopefully you will be with someone who is comfortable enough talking about sex that the two of you can give each other suggestions on what does and does not feel good. That's real intimacy.User Detail :
Name : Meg21921, Gender : F, Age : 21, City : Gainesville, State : FL Country : United States,I don't know why teens don't cherish their virginity. I can only guess at some of their reasons: curiosity, peer pressure and feeling embarrassed that they are a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was 17 and now I wish I had waited. At the time I didn't realize how much it mattered to me. My parents never discussed sex with me when I was younger. Hold strong in your beliefs. When you can depend on your values, it will get you through situations later in life.User Detail :
Name : Pat19874, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 43, City : Philadelphia, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I'm your age and not a virgin. I see no point in waiting until marriage because I don't see myself getting married for a very long time, and when I meet that one man, I want to be with him for a long time and find out if we work together, and that includes sexually. I have only had one partner, and we just had our first anniversary as a couple. I didn't have sex with him until I was sure he loved me and wouldn't use me, and that I wanted it myself. It felt utterly right at the time, and I don't regret it and doubt I ever will.User Detail :
Name : Ingrid, Gender : F, City : Torquay, State : NA Country : United Kingdom,I would like to know that as well. It bothers me sometimes when I talk to my friends and they say they went to a party or something and 'did it' with this or that person. I find it sad that most teens don't cherish their virginity. I know I do, and I'm waiting until marriage - and maybe then some. I guess if you think about it, it has to do with a person's family background as well. But at least not all of us 'do it.'User Detail :
Name : Surf, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Mormon, Age : 15, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,I'm very happy to hear there are some out there who are doing it right. I lost my virginity at a very early age. I had been sexually abused as a young child and already considered my virginity a lost cause when I willingly engaged in sexual activity. I think most are so eager to lose our virginity because this world is focused on sex. It's everywhere you look, on every commercial, every TV show, every advertisement. They feel out of the loop. I'll bet if you polled America, you'd find a good 80 percent would regret having given away their virginity when they did, and to whom. I commend you entirely for saving yourself. Your husband will consider it the best gift, and it will ward off all sorts of problems that arise with previous sexual experience. Nowadays it seems if you don't have an STD, you're a prize. Stick to your morals and don't put yourself in any situation that could compromise your decision-making abilities. I wish I was as smart as you are at that age.User Detail :
Name : Megan H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Niles, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I admire you for your commitment to abstinence and respect you for your support of chastity. There aren't too many teens like us. Teens don't cherish virginity for numerous reasons: first, sex is highly overrated and emphasized. When you hear your best friend 'Michelle' talk openly about her sexual affairs, about having a huge ding-a-ling inside her and how orgasmic it felt, you can't help but feel you're missing out on lots of the excitement. On top of that, especially among girls, bisexuality and lesbianism appear to be the norm. So when you see flicks such as 'Girls Gone Wild,' the message is you can't know who you are unless you're acting like a flea-bitten, whorish bitch. In addition to that, teens aren't encouraged to value the sacredness of sex. Look at the amount of schools handing out condoms, or Planned Parenthood allowing underage girls to abort their children without having their parents' consent. The message is clearly stating that even adults don't believe we are not hormone-raging animals. Add to that the fact that abstinence isn't enough motivation because you can 'always kill your unborn child.'Females, whether women or girls, are always made to feel as if there is something deathly wrong with them if they don't have a romantic male figure in their life 24/7. It is always emphasized that 'you have to please your man' and 'stand by your man', as if the relationship revolves around him and you don't count. It's no wonder they feel pressured to perform and lack the assertiveness to say no. It is based on lack of confidence and a feeling that you don't have anything to offer the relationship or him, such as your goals, dreams, kind heart, personality and intellect. They feel guys don't care about that. The only thing they feel they can offer is a cheap piece of a**, t*ts, and p***y.
I wish females would feel valuable enough to not bend over backward so much for the male species. They need to feel that they're still OK and that their purpose on earth is not to be mens' playtoys. We have a divine purpose.
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Name : Cocoa31977, City : Tampa, State : FL Country : United States,Anna, opinions surrounding the virtues of chastity are almost exclusively Religious. Christians find it a faith issue and have different opinions to other people, obviously. As a Taoist, virginity actually has no particular place in my religion, and i cannot make moral judgements around it based upon my beliefs. To me, when i first had sex was irrelevant, like the first time i ate chilli. It is part of my natural life and an enjoyable experience and therefore i just don't give it as much attention as you have been taught to.User Detail :
Name : Peter Franks, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Taoist, Age : 18, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I remember my teenage years and don't regret not having had the sexual experiences my friends had. Some were raped, some were curious, some were in love at the time, but the majority were just curious. I never found the person I was in love with, still haven't. Love before marriage is very possible to happen in my situation, because religion is not a big factor for how or why I make decisions. I base my decision on emotion (whether or not I love the person) and reason (whether or not I think I could live with this person for the rest of my life). I didn't have sex because I didn't truly love anyone at that age. I had a hard time loving myself and trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. Thinking about sex was just an added stress factor. Regardless of my personal reasons, I know that my friends don't regret what they did. With the exception of the one who was raped, because she blames herself for having been in that situation to begin with. The one friend who to this day makes me smile when she talks about her sexual experiences, lost her virginity at 15. She makes me smile because she sees sex as natural and an enjoyable experience, yet she is very aware of who her partner is and is responsible for her actions. (for example using protection) She shocks me because I feel like I was raised in a culture where I was told I had to get married in white and I know plenty of men who have married women that were dressed in white and the men were not virgins themselves. I love that she is a strong women saying 'this is what I want, this is what makes me feel good, and I don't care if you don't like it, I'm taking care of myself and you don't have to worry about me.' Responsible teenagers are what I'm most concerned about.User Detail :
Name : Esmy B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Chicana, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I think that teens have sex before they are married because its the thing to do. Everyone else is doing it so why not? A lot of teens have teen parents(in my area) so they dont have a possitive role model to follow. I am an exception. I am still a virgin and plan to be one until i meet 'Mr. Right'- whoever that may be. But i have parents who had me at the age of 30 so i have something positive to go by.User Detail :
Name : Yanna, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 17, City : willingboro, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I just turned 20 and I'm still a virgin by choice. I think its so wrong that our society seems to reward sluttly behavior. Its not that I have anything agaisnt sexuality, its just that those women who respect themselves enough to wait end up feeling pressured and left out. On another note I sometimes wonder if guys perfer virgins or woman who have had experience. Either way I'm glad I'm not having sex cuz in this day in age theres way to much to worry about (AIDS, ect.). When I do finally have it it will be with someone I deeply in love with and I know is clean. I've seen how worried sexually active girls get when their period is a day late and I feel its just not worth it.User Detail :
Name : Vannessamariah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 20, City : Fredericksburg, State : VA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College,Hi Anna! I read your question, and I agree with you 100%. I myself, am a virgin and saving myself for marriage as well. I am considered rare because I 'survived' High School without having sex. I am not going to lie, it wasn't a piece of cake! But anyway, I was reading some of the comments to your post, and was surprised but not too shocked to see that virginity is more of a thing for girls to keep. Your question simply states 'Teens'. Why does it seem like it's okay for boys to be sexually active, but a girl is considered a slut? It's very irritating to me. Sex is so commonly misused it isn't even funny. It's almost lost the beauty of what it really is, a man and a woman in love, married, creating life. Well, that's just me. Anyway, I am proud of you for staying a virgin. It's an AWESOME gift to give to your very lucky husband.User Detail :
Name : Tiff, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Alta Loma, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Logistics Coordinator, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am 31 now and lost my virginity at 16, to a man who I did not marry. Absolutely no regrets. I also know people who have chosen to wait for marriage and they are perfectly happy with their decision as well. The decision to have sex before marriage depends entirely on the individual and the circumstances. I did cherish my virginity-- and I chose to give it to someone who I loved very much. Do not judge someone based on your own choices.User Detail :
Name : Nikki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 31, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : SAHM, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I may not be a teen anymore, but hopefully I'm not old enough that this is disregarded. I am no Tom Selleck, but I know my looks are OK. I may be a computer geek, but I can relate to people too. I'm intelligent (fluent in several languages), and making good money working with computers. As a teen, I valued that kind of chastity. I thought something was wrong with me because my first real kiss didn't happen until I was 21. I waited til marriage, feeling like the only 22 year old in the country that had. But I have been very happily married for 8 years, with three beautiful children. There is a level of trust and understanding between my wife and I that I believe is rare in this world. Was it worth the wait? Absolutely! I don't understand why so many people think that a little self control is a bad thing. Our prisons are filled with people who never learned any self control. You will have the rest of your life to make up for waiting, why trade a few minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of enjoyment with the right person? Anyway, there are guys out there, who aren't just nerds and geeks, who do value the same things as you. You just have to look in the right places to find them.User Detail :
Name : Dan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Mormon, Age : 30, City : Carson City, State : NV Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Engineer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,
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