Religion Questions 21-30

THE QUESTION:
RE30: I have always wanted to know what, exactly, it means to be Jewish. I know it is a religion. However, certain people have distinguishable physical features, such as dark, curly hair, brown eyes and different, larger noses. Please explain to me if being Jewish also means one is from a certain race or ethnic group.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1998
L.S., 50, white female, Ann Arbor, MI

ANSWER 1:
In order to be Jewish, a person has to either be born to a Jewish mother or go through a rigorous conversion process. There are Jews of all different races and ethnicities. However, the features you cite are those of two of the larger Jewish subgroups, Ashkenazic Jews who settled in Europe and Sephardic Jews who settled in the Middle East. As a result, through years of intermarriage, these Jews began to take on the dominant features of that region. This does not change the fact that one can still run into Jews descending from Africa, Asia and numerous other regions. The bottom line is that Judaism is a religion, not an ethnic group, and one can run into Jews of all different ethnic backgrounds.
POSTED APRIL 15, 1998
A.K., Oak Park, MI
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THE QUESTION:
RE29: Could someone explain more clearly why Muslims and Christians/Catholics can pray in synogogues, but Jews shouldn’t pray in churches?
POSTED APRIL 8, 1998
Caroline L., 22, Jewish <Leest@arlington.net>
Arlington, TX

ANSWER 1:
I think this is just a tradition based upon past persecution. In many cases, Christian clergymen were focal points for the persecution of Jews, including forced conversions. Also, for a Jew to show up in a church would in many cases either be a provocative act or taken as a sign of conversion. By the way, in my memory, Catholics had to get permission from a priest to visit a synagogue.
POSTED APRIL 9, 1998
Jerry S., 49, Jewish <jerryschwartz@comfortable.com>
New Britain, CT

FURTHER NOTICE:
As a Catholic, I have never heard that you need permission from a priest to visit a synagogue or any other house of worship. Unfortunately, some priests who are very opinionated try to force their own authority on their parishioners. It is up to Catholics to educate ourselves and live up to our own consciences, and ecumenism should certainly be encouraged!
Elizabeth P., 25, Catholic <powere@gusun.georgetown.edu>
Washington, DC

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Christianity grew out of Judaism, so Judaism is in a real sense encompassed by Christians. Similarly, Islam accepted Judaism and Christianity within its prinicples. When a Muslim or Christian visits a synagogue, they are exploring their own spiritual roots. When Jews go to a church or Christians visit a mosque, they are entering a religion that supercedes their own. Look at it this way: Branch Davidians could feel at home in a church, but Christians would feel uncomfortable praying with the Davidians. Or Mormons, etc.
POSTED APRIL 18, 1998
Lawrence, Jewish
Montreal, Quebec, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
To Elizabeth (above): As an older “cradle Catholic,” I can tell you there was a time when Catholics were not allowed to worship in a church of a different demonination. It was even necessary to receive dispensation to stand up for a friend or relative’s wedding if it took place in other than a Catholic church. Even with this dispensation, we were instructed not to take part in the worship itself. This was not just the view of particular priests, but was accepted Catholic practice.
POSTED APRIL 21, 1998
Joanne C. <Casgoc@wwnet.com>
Warren, MI
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THE QUESTION:
RE28: What is Reconstructive Judaism?
POSTED APRIL 4, 1998
Peg W. <MagEWiz@aol.com>
Hamburg NY

ANSWER 1:
Reconstruction is the newest branch of Judaism and was founded by Mordecai Kaplan. Its tenets were published in 1934. He emphasized the peoplehood of all Jews, regardless of the theological beliefs of individuals. He regarded Judaism as the primary folk expression of the Jewish people (R. Rosenberg, The Concise Guide to Judaism, 1980). Reconstruction does not follow any strict doctrine, but allows its members to follow their own ideas and beliefs.
POSTED JUNE 12, 1998
Larry H., larryhil@gte.net, Huntington Beach, CA
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THE QUESTION:
RE27: Should children be forced into the religion of their parents at a young age, or should they be allowed to choose their belief (or lack thereof) at their own pace?
POSTED APRIL 1, 1998
Geoff, 19, white male <monkeyshine_69@hotmail.com>
Markham, ON

ANSWER 1:
While it may be possible to “force” a child into a religion in some cultures where respect for authority means something, it would practically be impossible in the current American culture to force a child to do much of anything for a significantly long period of time. Christianity, at least, would say that since God has shown His tremendous love for us through the death of His son, Jesus Christ, we should radiate that love for our fellow man to such an extent that people are drawn to us and our beliefs (admittedly, usually easier said than done). That would be especially true for your family and those closest to you. Your children and your spouse should be drawn to your beliefs not by force but by love. While you should teach your children about your beliefs, just like you’d want them to know math even if they may not be an engineer, children who make a choice will make it for a lifetime. The integrity of your beliefs and your actions are what will make the difference.
POSTED APRIL 3, 1998
Peter P., Christian <PPROUT20@aol.com>
Redford , MI

FURTHER NOTICE:
In my opinion, you cannot force a child into religion. You can force him or her to go to church, for example. However, when that child is old enough to research religion on their own, they will decide which religion is right for them. I am speaking from experience. I was told to go to church every Sunday when I was young. While studying religion on my own, I discovered that the church was not for me, and I am now a practicing Wiccan.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1998
Sterling M. 27, Trenton, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
As a mother of five, I feel I have many areas to teach and train my children. This includes education – do you know many 15-year-olds who would go to school if they weren’t forced? It also includes feeding and nutrition – my boys would eat a very limited diet (hamburgers and fries) if I let them, so I must force them to eat their vegetables and not eat their cake before dinner. I must force them to learn the legal rules, as most 4-year-olds will steal a bar of candy if they want it. As far as religion, I feel it is my duty to “force” them to church, just as with the other examples above. When they become adults, they can quit college, eat whatever they desire, break all the laws they want and quit going to church. But my first responsiblity is to teach them the direction I prefer they take, which includes legal, educational, religious and moral values.
POSTED JUNE 4, 1998
Susan, MOM1977@aol.com, Kansas City, MO

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
As a “born again” Pagan I feel it is wrong to force-feed a religion on my child. I do believe that it is my responsibility to give him religious training. When he asks a question concerning religion, I answer like this: “I believe this. Some believe that. Some believe something else.” Although he is very aware of my faith, he knows he is free to explore any and all religions. When he tells me what he believes, regardless of whether I agree, I am very proud that he has learned to think for himself and listen to his heart.
POSTED SEPT. 9, 1998
Trish L. 35, West Branch, MI
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THE QUESTION:
RE26: The Christian church sends out many missionaries each year to different countries. Do other religions (such as Hinduism or Islam) send out missionaries? If so, do they send them here?
POSTED APRIL 1, 1998
Rick A. <ricka@efn.org>
Ottawa, KS

ANSWER 1:
The Ahmadiyya Movement in Islam is established in more than 160 countries and has missionaries in most of them. Their web site in the United States is at http://www.alislam.org and can provide you with information/contacts on each of the countries.
Farhan <khokhar@interlog.com>
Mississauga, Canada

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
In case of Hindus, being a Hindu is determined usually by birth. Traditionally, that also defines your caste. Plus, Hinduism is an ancient religon closely tied to the Indian culture and way of life. Newer religions usually have a need to popularize their religons through missionaries. I have never encountered or heard of someone trying to convert others to Hinduism in a formal way. There is the Hare-Krishna movement in the West, but I am not sure if that is really strong and has buy-in from the rest of the Hindu Temples. There has also been no cenral authority for a long period (like the Pope) in Hinduism to give direction to the religion and its spread in a formal way.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1998
Amit <amit@well.com>, Austin, Texas

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I am a member of the Baha’i Faith, and although we do not have missionaries, we have something in our faith called Pioneers. Pioneers are Baha’is who choose to leave their native country and settle in another country to work, live, raise their families and teach the Baha’i Faith through example and to those who seek to learn about the Baha’i Faith. Many Baha’is do , and I am an American Baha’i pioneer who has settled in Hong Kong. Here in Hong Kong I have met other Baha’i pioneers from Canada, Bolivia, Chile, Australia, Japan, India, Singapore and many, many other countries. Also, many Baha’is from other countries go to pioneer in the United States as well. Pioneers differ from “missionaries” in that we actually settle down in the country where we go.
POSTED JUNE 17, 1998
B. Lee <brooklee@hotmail.com>, Hong Kong
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THE QUESTION:
RE25: Director’s Paraphrase: W.O.C. of Dearborn, Mich., asks why it seems that (what he terms) many Catholic priests have been found to sexually abuse young boys who are parishioners at their churches. Y? would prefer someone who has investigated and/or studied this situation to answer the question.
POSTED MARCH 29, 1998

ANSWER 1:
As a psychotherapist, I’ve worked with a few members of the Catholic clergy, and I’ve thought a lot about human sexuality. These factors occur to me: 1) Priests are expected to live as though they have no sexuality. No one can achieve this, though some people can adjust to the expectation better than others. 2) The anti-sexual bias in Christianity (and many other religions) tends to produce shame. When the person’s sexuality bursts through that wall, it is usually distorted into something that conforms to the expectation: That is, it’s shameful. Shamefulness comes to have its own sexual thrill. Priests often carry a heavy load of this burden. 3) Another factor: Men who, for whatever personal reason, can’t deal with their sexuality, may try the priesthood as an attempt to escape it. These men are even less able to deal with celibacy. Many of the child-molestation cases involve girls or both girls and boys. The issue here is pedophilia – sexual attraction to children – more than homosexuality. Gay priests who act on sexual impulses have sex with men, not children. This brings us to 4) Pedophiles are unable to cope with the complexities of relating sexually to an equal. The pedophile needs to feel powerful, needs to have a sexual “partner” who cannot challenge him (or more rarely, her) or threaten his/her sense of being in control. Therefore, if a man has entered the priesthood because he needs to have his sense of authority shored up by being “the voice of God,” (and if he has serious problems of personal development) he may pose a greater risk to children.
POSTED APRIL 16, 1998
Will H., gay, white, 48, Dallas, TX

FURTHER NOTICE:
Be careful not to confuse perception with reality. In the ’80s, certain changes in child protection laws made molestation cases a big political boost for successful prosecutors. Accusations of molestation are also difficult to defend against and are extremely devastating, whether true or not. These factors created a huge boom in molestation accusations and prosecutions into a least the early ’90s. Then you started to hear about the gross miscarriages of justice that resulted. Priests are particularly vulnerable to these kinds of things because the accusations are particularly sensational, their jobs require them to give counsel privately and they live alone on church property. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen, it just isn’t unusually out of proportion with the general population. With the backlash that arose against some of these flagrant abuses, you don’t see nearly as many of them any more and the accusations against priests are also down. Also, to say a person is denying their sexuality by not acting on it and that this can someday explode into pedophilia is a scary thought. For instance, to say that if some lurid billboard catches my eye and my sexuality is temporarily awakened but I do not act on it, that I may then go on to molest children, is an absurdity too frightening to think about.
Peter P., Roman Catholic <PPROUT20@aol.com>
Redford, MI
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THE QUESTION:
RE24: Is it true that Jewish people are against mixing with people from other religions?
POSTED MARCH 28, 1998
G. Méndez, teenager , female <chocogaby@hotmail.com>
Ciudad Victoria, Tamaulipas, Mexico

ANSWER 1:
Certain portions of Jewish culture do look down on the practice of intermarriage. However, this is not the result of religious snobbery, but rather involves the manner in which a person is determined to be “a Jew.” Jewish law dictates that the determination of a person’s “Jewishness” stems from their maternal side. Therefore, in order for a Jewish child to actually be a Jew, his or her mother must also be Jewish. Throughout time, Jews have continued to keep this law of separating themselves from intermarrying. Regardless, the present intermarriage rate hovers somewhere in the 52 percent range.
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
A.K., Jewish, Oak Park, MI

FURTHER NOTICE:
When a Jew announces his or her decision to marry a non-Jew, red lights tend to start flashing. For the most part, the Jewish community perceives intermarriage as a threat to the continuation of the Jewish people. Relatively few rabbis officiate at interfaith marriages, and couples who feel personally rejected by this position rarely understand its basis in Jewish law.

A Jewish wedding has legal standing when two witnesses see the bride accept a ring from the groom and hear him say “With this ring you are consecrated to me according to the laws of Moses and Israel.” A rabbi does not marry a bride and groom, they marry each other with these words and gestures. Thus, if one of the parties is not bound “by the laws of Moses and Israel,” the marriage has no standing. Another reason for a rabbi’s reluctance to participate in intermarriage ceremonies is that the major function of Jewish weddings is to establish Jewish homes and families. According to traditional Jewish law, children born to non-Jewish mothers are not considered Jews. Recent demographic evidence has shown that very few Jewish children of mixed-faith marriages identify with the Jewish world. The only option that satisfies the Jewish community is the conversion of the non-Jewish partner to Judaism. Once the non-Jew has become a Jew, intermarriage is no longer an issue. (Adapted from Living a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant and Howard Cooper)
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
C. L., 22, Reform Jew <Leest@arlington.net>
Arlington, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I come from (as far as I know) 100 percent Ashkenazi Jewish blood. I consider myself Jewish and part of the “Jewish Community,” and am proud of it. I am also an atheist, secular, progressive American, and I find the idea of having your true love convert to anything he or she is not kind of repugnant. Intermarriage can be good for both cultures, and society as a whole. If we only “mix” with other Jews, 100 years from now our great-grandchildren will still be answering anonymous questions about ruminant, cloven-hoofed animals, the color purple and whether we secretly run the world economy. Many Jews like to mix with people of other religions, ethnicities, and cultures, and we hope that other peoples feel the same way.
POSTED APRIL 16 1998
Justin N. <neisulej@wellsfargo.com>
San Francisco, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
It is not that Jews are against mixing with other people, but that Orthodox Jews are very concerned with having the Jewish identity disappear because of mixing with other cultures. From the Helinistic era, through the Inquisition and Pogroms, up to the Holocaust, there have been attempts by non-Jews to eleminate the Jews as a people, culture and religion. Only by being a people who stand alone, has Judaism survived to this day. For some Jews, assimilation remains a serious concern.
POSTED JUNE 12, 1998
Larry H., larryhil@gte.net, Huntington Beach, CA
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THE QUESTION:
RE23: I have been researching aspects of the Pagan religion for a while and have come across a marriage practice known as “handfasting.” Some have told me that this is an engagement ceremony, but I have also read it is considered a marriage ceremony. Aside from the legal matters, is handfasting a formal marriage ceremony for Pagans?
POSTED MARCH 28, 1998
Nika S. <violette@ibm.net>
Baltimore, MD

ANSWER 1:
My husband and I are Pagan, and my dear friend has her ministerial credentials from the state of California. There are various traditions in Paganism, and the practice of handfasting varies from tradition to tradition, but what is most important is the intent of the couple being handfasted. The handfasting can be a sort of engagement, usually lasting a “year and a day,” or it can be permanent marriage, like our own. The “officialness” depends on many things, of course. For instance, is the officiating priest or priestess a legal minister? Ours was, so our handfasting is a legal, state-recognized marriage. If the priest/ess isn’t a legal minister, then for a legal marriage something like a civil ceremony is needed to make it so. There is also the question of state laws, as some traditions perform same-sex handfastings. So there are a number of variables, but on the whole I would have to define it as a religious ceremony of commitment between two people.
POSTED MARCH 31, 1998
Leah and Ward M. <WMccreery@aol.com>
Santa Rosa, CA

FURTHER NOTICE:
The different stories you’ve been told may both be true. Paganism, as a whole, is a sort of catch-all for a variety of old religions. Since it includes such religions as that of the Norse Gods to Wiccans and otherwise, any one fact about “pagans” can be true of many or a few, and have different meanings. As a pagan myself, I understand the difficulty in trying to understand all of it. Just remember that you should try to distinguish from which group your information is sourced.
POSTED APRIL 1, 1998
Y. Lee, 22, Asian male, Ypsilanti, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Handfasting is an old Scottish custom that died out in the 19th century (see Margaret Bennett’s Scottish Customs from the Cradle to the Grave for more info). Traditionally, it was an engagement period. The couple held a ceremony (usually on Lammas/Lugnasadh, Aug. 1) and lived together for a year. If, at the end of that time, they still loved each other, they got a formal church wedding. If they didn’t, they split, and Scotland had detailed laws describing what happened to any children or property that arose during the handfast period. Modern Pagan handfasting is quite different – and we have no consensus on what handfasting is. For some, “handfasting” is simply a word for a Pagan marriage ceremony. Others renew their vows every year, something the original handfasters never did. Some treat it as an engagement, others as the beginning of a lifetime commitment.
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
Jenny, witch and Pagan <jennyg@compuserve.com>, Newark, CA
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THE QUESTION:
RE22: Is it improper for a white, 45-year-old male to seek companionship with a Hindu female?
POSTED MARCH 28, 1998
Mikel <mikel@utkux.utcc.utk.edu>
Knoxville, TN

ANSWER 1:
No, not unless she is a very strong believer in some sub-sect, or her family is against it. In general, it is OK.
POSTED APRIL 13, 1998
A. Malhotra <amit@well.com>
Austin, Texas
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THE QUESTION:
RE21: I would like to know the religious significance of turbans.
POSTED MARCH 28, 1998
Sandra B. <jonbeach@powerup.com.au>
Balmoral, Queensland, Australia

ANSWER 1:
I can’t speak for Middle Eastern people, but a turban can also have a cultural significance for some other groups. Cherokee Indian males traditionally wore turbans (with no religious meaning), with the hair long in the back and short hair on the rest of the head. Few wear them today.
POSTED NOV. 10, 1998
A.C.C., Mexican, American Indian (including Cherokee), San Antonio, TX