Race/Ethnicity Questions 351-360

THE QUESTION:
R360: Why do African-American leaders make such a spectacle over one black person being killed such as in the dragging death in Jasper, Texas, while they practically ignore that the No. 1 killer of black men is other black men?
POSTED JUNE 27, 1998
Bryan, 28, white, Doylestown, PA

ANSWER 1:
That is a very good question, and I have been asking it, as a black man, for the last 15 years. It should not be happening. You have to remember that the black leaders you see are the ones picked by the media and by other white people, not by black people. Just as there is not one white leader who speaks for white people, or Asian people, or Latino people, there is no real leader who speaks for black people. In black communities a lot is being done to cut black-on-black crime, but it is not newsworthy unless someone is killed. Every day, more black men are stepping up to the plate to help take the crime out of our communities, but it is a very long process. We have a long way to go, and a short time to get there, so please know that we are working on it every day … every hour, every minute, every second. It will stop. God is with us.
POSTED JULY 15, 1998
Tony, 42, black male, <cinatisoulman@mailexcite.com>, Cincinnati, OH

FURTHER NOTICE:
That is a good point. Black folks should be equally upset about the death of a black person killed by a black person. But that is really not the issue. We can all agree that crime is going to happen no matter what we do; there is certain percentage of the population that is criminal. The issue in a case like the death in Jasper is the historic and usually unpunished race crime. Our country has a history of murders committed against black folks for just being black. This type of crime is especially upsetting when you think it can happen to your child walking to the store or playing at the park. You don’t have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to get killed in a crime like this. Any person with brown skin is at risk of death for just being. In my neighborhood, you know what to do and where to go if you don’t want trouble. I can’t stop being brown.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
African American

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I think you (the questioner) missed the point of the black leaders’ concern. It was a common practice for white men to “lynch, kill, etc.” black men. I believe you just got an up-to-date lesson that this type of insensitive behavior will not be tolerated. I don’t believe you were watching a different news report than the rest of the nation, because I saw just as many whites upset with the deeds performed by the three white men.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Wil, back male <wlfonte4@hotmail.com>, Baytown, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
African-Americian leaders who step forward in speaking out on crimes such as the one in Texas display leadership in their community as well as courage. As an Africian American, it has been my experience that if we do not speak out first, then no one else feels a need to speak for us. Speaking out about any act of violence and/or injustice for any group, whether we are a member of that group or not, is a display of courage, leadership and concern. History tells us that in too many cases of such acts, justice has never prevailed. Certainly such an act should be of great concern to all Americans. Black-male-on-black-male crime should also be of concern to American society, as should any form of crime, especially the taking of another’s life.
POSTED JULY 21, 1998
Yoni B., 44, African American <ybenson@utmb.edu>, Island of Galveston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Unlike the often drug-related black-on-black killings so easily accomplished with a gun, the ghastly murder of a black male by three white Texans was a racially motivated hate crime, not so easily accomplished at all. Eroding our national dependency on and the availability of drugs, and deglorifying guns, could go a long way toward reducing black-on-black killings, and is likely realizable with sufficient national will. But to explain and then erode racial hatred so deeply seated and so intensely felt as to propel men to such brutal acts as those in Jasper is a much more difficult and pressing problem. Racial hate crimes are so offensive to blacks, who have suffered so many such crimes at the hands of whites, because these crimes target the most distinguishing feature of a black person’s humanity – the color of his/her skin.
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
F.L.W., 57, black male <110555.2423@compuserve.com>, Columbia, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
The man in Jasper was killed for one reason: The pigment content of his skin. Judging people on the basis of skin pigment is a terrible crime perpetuated in our society. Black-on-black killings tend to happen in poor, depressed communities. They are not killed because they are black, but because of where they are at the time. Reporting it as black-on-black crime gives the impression people are killing each other over their skin color. That is not my understanding. I agree with the previous poster that education and respect for others in one’s community should help to alleviate some of these crimes. I think social development and pumping money into these communities will do the rest.
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
David de G., 32, Jew, Brookline, MA

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
The murder in Jasper is worthy of a spectacle. This brutal slaying is an indicator that although America has made strides in race relations, there are still some undertones of continuing white supremacy. Nevertheless, I would agree that many of the so-called black leaders do an inadequate job of addressing the incessant presence of black-on-black crime. This is primarily because, like many politicians today, they are consumed with their own self-interests. Many black leaders of today lack the moral integrity and determination to attack racism at every level of American society, and would rather weakly attack the events that will give them more recognition and notoriety.
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
Tony, 19, black <tony.e.carey@vanderbilt.edu>, Gallatin, TN

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
I agree with Tony (Answer 1) in this respect: There are a lot of “community” black “leaders” who are doing a great deal to help curb black-on-black murders (as well as other crimes). The media only puts forth that which sells, and as Tony stated, I think our so-called black leaders are primarily picked by the “white” media, usually to promote some agenda they have. I am proud to say I am one of those black men who does what he can to stop violence and crime in his community.
POSTED JULY 22, 1998
K.R., 51, straight black male, Oxnard, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 8:
I don’t think it’s the black leaders that make a big deal of it as much as the news media. Controversy and conflict mean money to the media. If it were three black men instead of three white men who committed that act, there would be no way to bring two large groups of people into conflict with each other to make news as well as satisfy the sick desires of those responsible for stirring up public conflict. The black leaders are simply pawns of the rich who are brought into this conflict. This whole type of scenario is much like the sickness you have surrounding pit bull fights, rooster fights, ultimate fighting championships and even the ancient Greek and Roman gladiator fights.
POSTED AUG. 3, 1998
Jeff E., 29, white <jelder@bunt.com>, Kirchenarnbach, GE

FURTHER NOTICE 9:
I think blacks feel white America owes them for enslaving them, and that some blame everyone for anything bad that happens to them. This, I think, is normal human behavior, but it is the behavior of what I call a “loser.” I believe it was shaped in a “loser” or dysfunctional envirnoment. A “loser” blames and criticizes others for his or her failures and does nothing about it. A “winner” works harder if he fails. There are a lot of blacks with “loser” mentalities, but there a lot of blacks who are “winners.” I feel that people who are helping blacks blame everyone for everything are doing blacks an injustice.
POSTED AUG. 10, 1998
New Yorker, New York, NY

FURTHER NOTICE 10:
I think many Americans were concerned that in 1998, people still murder other people because of the color of their skin. Perhaps what you may consider a “spectacle” is viewed in a more somber light by many people of many races. Regarding “black leaders,” it might be helpful to understand that they, like “white leaders,” do not represent all members (or even a vast majority) of black Americans. I believe Dennis Rodman paid for the victim’s funeral, but I wouldn’t consider him a spokesman for my point of view. Black-on-black violence is tragic; in fact, it was one of the main concerns of the Million Man march in Washington. Now there was a spectacle.
POSTED AUG. 11, 1998
S. Finley, African American <sfinley@earthlink.net>, Naperville, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 11:
That crime was so heinous that it should have shocked everyone, not just African-American leaders. Blacks kill blacks for many reasons, mainly socio-economic. This man was dragged to his death by three white racists for one reason, and one reason only: The color of his skin. America should weep.
POSTED AUG. 12, 1998
Jan W., CA

FURTHER NOTICE 12:
The killing in Jasper was directly related to the man being black. Black-on-black or white-on-white killings are committed for a variety of other reasons, i.e. gang , personal, etc. The white community in my view should be the first and loudest to speak up and against what happened in Jasper because those racial acts shape others’ perceptions of whites. If whites are overwelmingly intolerable to that kind of behavior by other whites, it will have an impact on the perception of whites as well.
POSTED AUG. 14, 1998
Dave, 41, white male <GILSTRAP@MS13.HINET.NET>, Easley, SC

FURTHER NOTICE 13:
This killing was a disgrace, and those involved should be executed. However, I feel African Americans should be more afraid of their own race than of whites. Statistically, a tremendously high percentage of blacks are killed by blacks, not by whites, but very little is said about this because people are afraid of being called racist.
POSTED AUG. 18, 1998
D.P., white male, Piscataway, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 14:
They ignore because they choose not to look at reality, and because it’s probably easier to point the finger at someone else, saying “we are not the problem, you (whites) are.” It’s attitudes like these that continue to hold down minority populations. Instead of looking within themselves to find the root or source of the problem, they ignore it and put it off on some other group.
POSTED AUG. 28, 1998
Matt, 20, New York

FURTHER NOTICE 15:
The dragging death in Jasper gets special attention because the alleged victim was killed because he was black, a circumstance over which he had no control. The other murders you mention usually have as their cause some sort of private dispute or conflict. The Jasper murder is indicative of a societal ill that affects us all.
POSTED AUG. 28, 1998
J. Crosby, 50, African American <sjmcros@umslvma.umsl.edu>, St. Louis, MO

FURTHER NOTICE 16:
I don’t believe black leaders ignore black-on-black killing. This issue is emphasized as much as whites killing blacks. I am only 19, and I can’t count the number of “sermons” I have heard on the need to end the black-on-black killings.
POSTED SEPT. 11, 1998
E. Williams, 19, African American, Houston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 17:
First of all, far from being ignored, there has been much discussion of black-oin-black crime by black leaders for at least the past 10 yrs. Part of the reason the Jasper incident receives so much attention is that there are many today who deny that racism and discrimination still exist, and the incident in Jasper shows that in 1998 there are still people who commit the kinds of crimes routinely committed against blacks 30 or more years ago. Many of those crimes and their perpetrators went unpunished then, and it is important that it be demonstrated that now, in 1998, such crimes will not be overlooked, forgotten or ignored by everyone other than the victims.
POSTED SEPT. 22, 1998
Greg, 20 black/white male <december@brigadoon.com>, Olney, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 18:
As I watched the local and national news around the time of the murder, I saw quite a few white leaders talking about the, as you called it, “spectacle” in Jasper. They, as I and black leaders were, were horrified that three white men could have that much hate in them seemingly just because the man was of a different race. I have also heard many African-American leaders talking about the terrible facts of black youths killing other black youths, that you must have missed. I also have heard many white leaders discussing the similar dilemma regarding youths killing other youths as a major national problem, regardless of the person’s race. Finally, your reference to it being only “one” man (I added “only” because I feel that was the meaning of your statement) makes no sense to me. True, if there had been five or 10 victims that in itself would have been worse, but the fact that this “spectacle” even happened is the real tragedy. Black or white, one or 10, the incident was so horrific everyone should be talking about it – hopefully with deep disgust and sadness.
POSTED SEPT. 23, 1998
Allen, 47, white, Houston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 19:
One of my favorite subjects is history. Sometimes the lies we tell our kids help them grow up to be better people, but too often they just turn around and bite us where we sit. African-American leaders or any others who seem shocked at the crime in Texas may remember the KKK. We have forgotten that at one time, millions belonged to the klan, including a number of presidents. It may seem to African Americans that whites run America and mean them harm. Things like this seem to prove it. I don’t have a clue who runs America, but my guess is that they hate all of us evenly. Racism needs to be exposed for what it is. I think the objection of many whites is that a similar crime against an equally innocent white person would seem less evil to many blacks. This is an issue that can’t be sidestepped. This is also a message that the media carries into our homes.
POSTED OCT. 7, 1998
50, white male <gduff48482@aol.com>, Grand Rapids, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 20:
Black leaders do not ignore black-on-black crime. Their efforts in this area are not sensational enough to reach the headline news, so only those who take the time to notice know about it. And the reason a “spectacle” was made of the Jasper killing was not simply because of the killing but what it represented. This was a specifically racist act, and had there not been a public outcry about it, it would have sent a message that we as Americans were OK with it. This symbolized an ugly past in America that I as an American and a white person cannot allow to be resurrected. I am ashamed that these people continue to cast a blight on the tapestry of the American people.
POSTED OCT. 20, 1998
Carrie, 23, white, Denver, CO

FURTHER NOTICE 21:
I guess the reason is because in 1998 it’s still hard to swallow that some people believe that it’s OK to kill someone simply because he is black. All killing is wrong, no matter who the victim or murderer. But it’s a very hard blow when someone is murdered in such a horrid fashion simply because he is black (or white, or Asian, or gay). I’d like to know how you came to the conclusion that the No. 1 killer of black people is other black people? Do you have reliable and accurate information regarding this? It’s true that black people have murdered other black people. But is it the No. 1 killer? Or is that an exaggeration? I ask because if it is true, I’d like to know. Please show me, if you have it. I’m always willing to learn from others.
POSTED NOV. 3, 1998
Lynne <lynne@ubet.com>, San Jose, Ca

FURTHER NOTICE 22:
Sometimes it takes a tragic or sensational event to force us to look at our society’s ills. The murder in Jasper would only be another heinous crime among thousands if it were motivated by a personal grudge, say, directed toward that one particular individual. This murder was motivated by intense hate of an entire race, and it is not an isolated crime. It reminds us that we are still in crisis. Racism remains prevalent. There are many of us, black and white, who are doing what we can to control this disease. Others insist on holding onto our ignorance and fear. Sometimes I am hopeful we can come to understand and respect each other. Sometimes I’m just frustrated and tired. I have heard several comments from the black community raising concern about the epidemic of violent crime by African Americans targeted against their own. It’s no secret, and neither is the fact that blacks are oppressed by whites. I believe part of the problem within our black communities stems from misdirected rage, however. When we feel taken advantage of at work and go home and lash out at whoever is around, ultimately we are all affected by the self-directed violent crime.
POSTED NOV. 13, 1998
David, white, Houston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 23:
The crime in Jasper was so horrible because of the way it was committed. People are killed every day, and people die every day, but a crime like that doesn’t happen every day. It wasn’t a crime of passion or even of conspiracy. They were out “having fun,”and a man is dead. No matter the color of the man, or men, who did this, it as a crime that was shocking. The color of the assailants wasn’t the big problem, but the fact that their crime was race-based made it even more horrible.
POSTED NOV. 16, 1998
Apryl P., black female <apryl@mail-me.com>, Oak Park, MI

FURTHER NOTICE 24:
It’s a matter how the crime was committed. This was a pure hate crime. The man was killed because of his race. I agree there is a lot of violence in the black community. The media chooses not to play up on black-on-black crime. What is news to them is white-on-black or vice versa. The black leaders are working diligently trying to fight crime in the black community. The Rev. Jessie Jackson marched with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. This is nothing new for him. He does not ask for the limelight. It is given to him by the media because of who he is. Anytime a crime is committed in the United States because of the color of your skin, the country is in trouble. Any man killed solely on the basis of his color (by being dragged or killed in any way) deserves media attention. This is an American problem. We have come so far, but also gone so far back.
POSTED NOV. 19, 1998
Leslie, 26, black female <Lesliey25@hotmail.com>, Americus, GA

FURTHER NOTICE 25:
You should realize that the outcry in response to this is not because one man was killed, but because of why he was killed. Murder is something most often committed in the heat of the moment, out of anger, passion or other strong emotions. These are motives people can understand. But when it is committed in cold blood, it is a lot more unsettling. When motivated purely by bigotry, it becomes something else altogether. Most people feel that if they live their lives well, making an effort to avoid trouble, then trouble will avoid them. But then you see that there are people out there who will pick you from a crowd and kill you in the most barbaric way simply because of the color of your skin. Just as with the murder of children, racially motivated killings are one of those particularly disgusting crimes that need to be highlighted.
POSTED NOV. 24, 1998
Agrivaine <agrivaine@yahoo.com>, Dublin, Ireland

FURTHER NOTICE 26:
As a white male I initially resisted responding to this question, but my willpower broke. On my scale of values, there is a qualitative difference between three people kicking a man until he is helpless and then dragging him behind a vehicle until parts of his body are scattered all over the road, and the kind of black-on-black violence we commonly read about. Some acts of violence are so horrific they merit a national outcry.
POSTED NOV. 29, 1998
Al, Anglo, 59 <alarose@ncwc.edu>, Rocky Mount, NC
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THE QUESTION:
R359: What are people’s opinions on whether it is true that major department stores cater to the needs of white individuals in certain areas, but ignore the demands of people who live in urban, particularly black, areas? If so, what measures could be taken to correct the problem?
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
La Von W., 22., black, Los Angeles (Central), CA

ANSWER 1:
Large department stores do seem to cater to certain race groups in certain areas. However, this “discrimination” is not based on anything more than marketing. If there’s a larger percentage of white, black or any other race that shops in that area, then of course they’re going to cater their store to this larger group of people. That’s business, and I feel nothing should be done to change that.
POSTED SEPT. 5, 1998
Nick <kotula@hotmail.com>, Newport News, VA

FURTHER NOTICE:
Having worked in retail stores, both in the North and Deep South, I sadly must admit you are right. I believe that many people who hold the decision-making positions at the top levels of many such retail companies are either ignorant or dismiss that there are simply a lot more African-American shoppers spending money in their outlets. This web site is a very important way to bring the changes needed in these areas to our attention. This open discussion is the only way these problems can have a voice, be heard and hopefully be addressed and changed. One thing we can do is tell everyone we know or meet about http://www.yforum.com. Through communication, there is hope.
POSTED SEPT. 23, 1998
Allen, 47, white, Houston, TX
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THE QUESTION:
R358: My young son has a dark, quarter-sized birthmark on his forehead. On two separate occasions, Hispanic females have stopped, pointed and spoken in Spanish to each other about the birthmark. Are facial birthmarks culturally significant to Hispanics, and if so, how?
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
Cindy B., 34, white female <burses@worldnet.att.net>, Tallahassee, FL

ANSWER 1:
There is no significance in Hispanic culture of facial birthmarks. This may have just been pure coincidence.
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
G. Vasquez, 20, Mexican, Troy, AL
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THE QUESTION:
R357: What are some ways whites who genuinely want to break down color barriers can do so amid antagonism from all ethnic groups, even other whites? That is, how can we distinguish ourselves from whites who are racist?
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
Jeffrey D., white, KY

ANSWER 1:
You obviously feel a need to distinguish yourself as being different from the modern stereotype white people are now being labeled with. This is a paradox that many white folks feel: If they don’t show outward signs of being non-racists, they believe they will be labeled racists. I suggest that you don’t worry about trying to show you are a good white guy, but to simply focus on developing a mature, balanced perception on all issues you feel influence your life . As for race issues, you may begin with reading information on the Internet of the early slave trading days, not just the history but the stories written during that era, and work your way up through the Civil War and civil rights days. Take a critical, objective look of the history and listen to all intelligent sides of the issue. Find out what Africans are saying about African Americans and what is happening in Europe with their race problems. Expand your view and you will find that it is complicated – like a big ball of tangled fishing string – and that African Americans and whites don’t have a perfect description of the problem. Educate yourself and save yourself from the feelings that come with trying to be a token good white guy. Just be a quality guy !
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Dave <GILSTRAP@MS13.HINET.NET>, S.C.

FURTHER NOTICE:
When among whites, refuse to participate in conversation or humor that promotes racist viewpoints. If you are with people of a race other than your own, just be yourself. You don’t have to advertise that you are not racist. If the conversation turns to the subject of race, join in, be honest and don’t think that you necessarily have to agree with the majority point of view. You may have a unique perspective to share. You may also learn you have some attitudes that still need adjustment. There are just so many things we unconsciously pick up from our parents and our culture that we may not even realize are racist. If you are not a racist, it will be obvious to other people, regardless of what ethnic group they belong to.
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Suzanne, 45, white female, NJ

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
Many years ago, this thought came to me when I encountered a problem because of my skin color (I’m white), and I asked a woman of color who was feeling antagonistic towards me: “Did you choose what skin color you were born with?” She answered sarcastically, “You know I didn’t!” Then I replied, “I didn’t either.” She turned and gave me a long, hard look. “You really mean that, don’t you?” she said. “Yes.” The folded arms came off her bosom, her hand came out to mine, and from then on we were good friends. If we can get past the outside wrapping color, we will find warm, loving friends. After all, we’re all pretty much alike inside. But, you have to take time to get to know someone personally and individually.
POSTED JULY 20, 1998
Vera F., 60, grandmother <vfurry@kumc.edu>, Wichita, KS

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I think the one thing you could do is let other white people know when you are uncomfortable with their use of racial epithets or some of the jokes they may tell. This should not only be done in the presence of African Americans, but also when you are in the company of other whites. Other than that, be yourself, and you shouldn’t be branded a racist. Remember: “To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards of men.” Peace.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
B.V.R. (Beyond Visual Range), 31, black male <alski96@airmail.net>, N.Y.

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Jeffery, to distinquish yourself from those who are racist, you have to do what we all have to do, and that is speak out. When you hear someone stereotyping an individual or group, be able to refute their view with logic and truth. You probably will not change their minds, but you may make them think. White people are not the only ones with a lock on racism. I’m black, and I won’t hesitate to disagree with anyone whose views are stereotypical or racist, and that includes black people. I think the worst thing you can do is remain silent in the face of racism. By remaining silent, you give those doing it your tacit approval. I was happy to read your question. People like you give me hope.
POSTED AUG. 11, 1998
M. White, black <sfa2z@aol.com>, San Francisco, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
I agree with those who say they do not allow racist jokes to be told in their presence. My white family members all know they can’t tell such a joke in my presence, and if I overhear one at work or whereever, I walk away and somehow let the group know I think that that shows low intelligence. I am a friendly person, so saying “hello” to someone I pass is common,. Being sure to look in the eye of a black/Hispanic, etc. person and my saying hello with a smile is something I never pass up. I do not think this will change anything, and even though I am disgusted by the way black people and Native Americans were treated by white people in the past, I do not feel personally responsible. However, for me, to let another person know I accept this other person (black, etc.) as a fellow earthling, with a smile, seems to be a very tiny act. I would still like to know if there are any ideas that I/we could do to let any other person know we hate any and all racism. One thing we can all do is tell everyone about this web site; it is a step.
POSTED AUG. 12, 1998
Allen, 47, white, gramps, Houston, TX

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
Your actions, as well as attitude, will distinguish you from racist whites. Anyone who knows you will be able to tell being racist is not in your nature. Also, based on my experience, some racist white people tend to look at other ethnicities with disdain and digust clearly written in their eyes. Non-racist white people do not do this.
POSTED SEPT. 9, 1998
Whitney T., 18, black <scrumpies@juno.com>, Oxford, MS

FURTHER NOTICE 7:
Racism as a societal problem is difficult to change, but the best way to set yourself apart from people who may be considered racist is to know someone of another race on more than a superficial level. If there are blacks, Hispanics or Asians where you work, make the effort to really get to know them as individuals and let them know you. That is the first step toward ending the lack of knowledge and trust and truly putting aside stereotypes.
POSTED NOV. 13, 1998
Jackie P., black female, 44 <Lady_Jackie@yahoo.com>, Dayton, OH
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THE QUESTION:
R356: I’ve noticed that African Americans are more likely to park illegally in a handicapped parking spot than others. Is this done on purpose, i.e. to make a statement, or is it a statistical fluke in the area where I live?
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
Bob, 40, white male, Frederick, MD

ANSWER 1:
It may just be where you live. Where I live, I have noticed that young, white people tend to park in the handicapped parking spaces.
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
Genevieve V., 20, Mexican, Troy, AL

FURTHER NOTICE:
It’s probably where you live. The trend here (North Carolina) is that whites park in handicapped parking spaces and blacks park in the fire lane in front of the store. My opinion in these cases is that whether they are meaning to or not, they are making a statement: I’m going to do as I damn please regardless of the law or how it inconveniences anyone else. Does your state have a program where you can issue a citation to the offenders? North Carolina enlists folks to write tickets to those who abuse the handicapped parking spaces. Be careful though. Some afflictions that warrant a handicapped parking tag aren’t as visible as a wheelchair.
POSTED JULY 26, 1998
Elizabeth, NC

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I live in a 95 percent white town, and all the people I see parking in handicapped spaces are white.
POSTED AUG. 1, 1998
Erik D. <erikdb@mailexcite.com>, Boulder , CO

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
I also live in Frederick, and I don’t see the same type of ethnically based parking violations that you do. Could it be you are witnessing the same person parking illegally? Since I’m from the area, can you post a few areas so I could research this for myself? Perhaps I am incorrect, but the only violations I have seen were in condo and townhouse developments, and I’ve seen this from all races. E-mail me if you like – I’m curious.
POSTED AUG. 4, 1998
Demetris, 33 <demetris@earthlink.net>, Frederick , MD

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
I don’t believe African Americans are more likely to park in handicapped spots than any other group. However, I noticed the poster of the question lived in Fredrick, Md., which may have a higher percentage of African Americans, thus giving him the impression of a tendency towards this offense. I live in a predominantly white area, and I see more white people parking illegally, but, I don’t think it has anything to do with race, just numbers.
POSTED AUG. 9, 1998
Michael L., 34, black <M1535@AOL.com>, Youngstown, OH

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Here in Los Angeles it’s my perception that there are more blacks with “handicapped” placards who don’t seem to have any handicap but are parking in handicapped zones. The older I get, the more it seems to me that blacks are thumbing their noses at our legal system and whites, making it more difficult to accept them.
POSTED AUG. 11, 1998
S.G.T., 63 <sgt@usa.net>, Santa Monica, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
I’ve been puzzled by this, too. Puzzled to the point that recently I simply asked two black, physically fit African-American women (whom I had observed parking in a handicapped spot) why they parked there. (Note: There were plenty of other parking spaces available.) I was informed that “people of color consider that to be a white man’s rule, and we don’t have to follow those rules.”
POSTED OCT. 14, 1998
Donna L., 48, white female, Cincinnati , OH
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THE QUESTION:
R355: Why is it that a lot of party stores seem to be owned by Middle-Eastern Americans?
POSTED JUNE 25, 1998
L., Southfield, MI

ANSWER 1:
Maybe where you live, those are the people who have the money and the will to invest and run businesses in black communities. In New York City and California, many Asians do the same in black neighborhoods.
POSTED DEC. 7, 1998
Mel B., black female, Detroit, MI
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THE QUESTION:
R354: I have noticed a number of younger African Americans wearing knee-high pantyhose on their heads. I would like to know why this is done, and where this trend came from.
POSTED JUNE 24, 1998
Jason <microft@westol.com>, Washington, DC

ANSWER 1:
I’m not exactly sure where this latest trend came from for young black men, especially when you consider all the fashion designers who have their signature models of these caps. However, black women have used them for ages. They come in really handy for keeping hair neat and in place while you’re sleeping. I used them when I was a kid. We’d take a pair of new pantyhose, cut off most of the legs, tie what was left of the legs into a knot and stretch the seat area over our heads. We called them “stocking caps.”
Denise, 27, black, Bronx, NY

FURTHER NOTICE:
This trend dates back to the days of pirates, when men wore “scullies” to protect their hair from the enviroment (wind, rain, saltwater). Also, it was a way of controlling their hair without a lot of grooming. This later evolved into the wave cap and “do rag,” where black men would put hair-processing ingredients to condition, put waves or straighten their hair at a time in history when this was the trend. Now it’s more for putting waves or a fashion statement of the black male.
POSTED OCT. 23, 1998
E. White, 43, Afro American, Fairless Hills, PA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
My son’s friend (both 14-year-old white males) said that my son could get his hair to be a stickup, flat-top style by wearing a stocking over his hair while he slept. We never could quite figure out how to get the stocking on right, though.
OCT. 26, 1998
Barbara S. <sudek@worldnet.att.net>, Las Vegas, NV

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
The apparent root of this fashion rage is a bit more sinister in its origin. Among the vast numbers of African-American males populating the nation’s correctional facilities is a significant number of men who are or claim to be Muslim. I’m not sure if you’ve ever noticed, but there is a specific type of cap these men (as do many Muslim men) wear, at least for praying. Since caps of this type are not readily available in prison, the Muslim inmates improvised by sewing up underpants. No kidding. And, as is the case with much of contemporary black culture, unfortunately, yet another fashion trend for our young males sprouted from the criminal subculture. The really sad part is that the (white-owned and operated) fashion design companies are reaping the profits of this not-so-subtle degradation. And, as usual, the shepherdless sheep among our youth empty their pockets for it.
POSTED NOV. 19, 1998
Samuel H., 30, African-American male <samalex67@aol.com>, Chicago, Il

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Those aren’t knee-highs. They’re wave caps. They help keep waves in their hair. Actually, they’re supposed to be worn when they sleep. Perhaps they’re getting their hair ready so it will look good when they reach their destination (work, party, school?)
POSTED FEB. 9, 1999
B.J. Hunt, black woman, Florissant , MO
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THE QUESTION:
R353: Second- and third-generation Americans from Asia, Mexico, Europe and other regions generally speak American English very well. They have no national accent and no differing word pronunciations. Why is it that many African Americans seem unable to speak American English?
POSTED JUNE 23, 1998
Susan, 34, white female, 34, Salem, OR

ANSWER 1:
I am able to speak “American” English just fine. I think there has been a major problem in all of these questions and many of the answers concerning black English. Many of the people who respond do not realize they are coming from a certain background. What you need to realize first is that language is the most important part of a culture. When people talk about “Standard” or “American” English being “proper,” they are making dangerous cultural assumptions that all things from European origin (including “Standard” English) are right and the pure form, and all others are wrong. Black English has different origins. Black English was actually used as a medium to unite all West African languages so that people of different African communities could communicate with each other during the periods of slavery. Over time, black English was the only thing Africans could pass down to future generations to let descendants know about Africa, as they were not allowed to know anything of their African past. Whether other African Americans who speak this form of English know it or not, they are keeping their African past alive. Other third- and fourth- generation Americans may have other means to pass down their culture without the use of language. Since this is the only thing African Americans have, this is probably the reason they still speak this form of English.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
Kara, African American, Japan <micheka@rocketmail.com>

FURTHER NOTICE:
Are you sure African Americans are “unable” to speak American English”? I am able to speak American English, but around certain black friends/family members I speak differently. If you are genuinely interested,do a little research on black English – you’ll find it interesting. But have you ever wondered why Southern whites speak their own form of American English? Ever wonder about Cajuns, Bostonians, New Yorkers?
POSTED JULY 18, 1998
Jon, 36, black <jgeeter@staffsolution.com>, San Francisco, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
There are many reasons, not the least of which is to communicate with one another. In the black community, there is a lot of pressure to “keep it real” or “stay black.” Being that proper English is most often associated with white America, many blacks fear they would appear to be “selling out”or “acting white” if they do not use black English. Notions that this was a way to unify different enslaved African peoples make no more sense than if we said standard English or Spanish or Chinese were used for the same purpose. It really has its roots in the South, and in ignorance of the way the language should be spoken. It is perpetuated by those who speak it out of ignorance, fear, a misplaced sense of pride, television shows and commercials that show black people communicating in this manner, and educators who believe it should be taught or encouraged.
POSTED AUG. 5, 1998
Steve H., 39, black, Foster City, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
To Kara: English, by definition, is the language of England and its people. It is not any more “dangerous” to assume that the European form of English is correct than it is dangerous to assume that the Japanese people should be the ones to decide how the Japanese language should be properly pronounced. American English is only a dialect of real English, and every region and most cultural groups have their own sub-dialects. These don’t become “proper English” just because other people in the area or group understand them. In Wisconsin, you can hear people talk like this: “Oh for cry-yi, meet me at da bubbler at tree-turdy, if youse guys godda come wit. Buttcha kin betcha yrr bein a royal pain in the dupa . Yah, hey! Howsabout dem Packers, hey? Rr ya comin’ ta da booyah?” All of us here understand it, and it reflects our history and culture. It was a way for all those German, Polish, Belgian, etc. settlers to understand each other, as they also had no common language. But it definitely is not “proper English.”
POSTED AUG. 14, 1998
Colette, <inkwolf@earthlink.net>, Seymour, WI

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Language is regional and is learned. While second- and third-generation people may master “standard” English, in most urban areas, they will also master the colloquials. It’s a matter of survival. If you visit a school in any urban area, i.e. South Central Los Angeles, while the demographics have changed from 70 percent black to 70 percent Latino, the slang terms used by the students – black and Latino alike – are the same. The intonations of the vowels are also the same. You may think you are listening to a black student, and when you turn around you may see a Latino kid. Also, the assimilation process for Latino people is a lot more attainable than it is for African Americans. Latinos are perceived as less threatening than African Americans. Do not be mistaken. African Americans can speak “standard” English, but when among each other, there are certain words and phrases used to add feeling and emotion to the conversation.
POSTED AUG. 21, 1998
Lydia, multi-racial <ethnikblend@hotmail.com>, Los Angeles, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
Not to dismiss Kara’s answer, but I think it also has to do with the fact that when Africans were first brought here as slaves, they were forced to learn English, so their speech was based on mixing their respective African languages (of which there were hundreds of dialects) with the English they were forced to learn. It makes it sort of a hybrid language. And add to that the fact that a lot of white Southerners were of Scottish and Irish descent, and you get an English language that was filtered through Scotland and then filtered through an African dialect. As for the speech patterns today, African Americans, just like white Southerners, learned it from their parents and so forth. But I have also known African Americans whose roots stretch deep in the New England states who speak with a New England nasal “twang.” It all depends on where you’re from.
POSTED SEPT. 1, 1998
Ken G., 30, African American <KennyG9@yahoo.com>, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE 6:
If you were to press the issue, I’m sure you would find that most black s speak English perfectly well. When I’m hanging out with my buddies, though, I don’t speak “proper” English – I make heavy use of slang (including, but not limited to, improper verb conjugation, dangling participles, vague pronoun usage and double negatives). However, if you saw me in the classroom, you would never know. Some kids from poorer school districts (neglected, underfunded, mismanaged school districts) never really learn proper English, and often their teachers don’t get paid enough to care enough to teach them.
POSTED SEPT. 23, 1998
Greg, 20 black/white) male <december@brigadoon.com>, Olney, MD
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THE QUESTION:
R352: My wife is an English teacher in a largely black school system. I sometime help her grade papers. I notice two constructions made almost exclusively by black students: 1. Using the word “stay” instead of live, e.g., “He stays at 123 Main St.” instead of “He lives at 123 Main St.” 2. The addition of the word “on” when saying when someone will return. e.g., “He will be back on tomorrow.” Is there some historical or edimological reason for this construction?
POSTED JUNE 22, 1998
D.B.M., 27, white male <dbmaury@gc.net>, Franklin, VA

ANSWER 1:
The black students’ use of “stay” in the referenced context is in fact closer to that word’s primary meaning than your ostensibly preferred use of “live” is to its primary meaning. In the 1989 edition of Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language, the primary (#1) definition of the verb “to stay” is “To remain in a place, situation, company, etc.: to dwell or reside.” In the same dictionary, “to dwell or reside” is the #6 definition for the verb to live. So how and when, after 1989, did “to live” vs. “to stay” become the verb of preference? Also, using ”on” to indicate “time or occasion” is just one of the many standard, correct usages of that word and is often seen in verse. (Remember, the Bible has also been a language textbook.) One trusts that the black students are not being graded harshly for their perfectly correct constructions.
POSTED AUG. 24, 1998
F.L.W., 57, black male <110555.2423@compuserve.com>, Columbia, MD
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THE QUESTION:
R351: Why do some black people call white people “honkies”?
POSTED JUNE 19, 1998
Rick W., Virginia Beach, VA

ANSWER 1:
The term “Honky” dates back to the slavery era. One of the things that was considered unusual to the Africans, when they first saw European Americans, was the shape of their nose. Most European Americans, especially those of British descent, had long, narrow noses. When a white person blows their nose, they can make a loud “honking” sound. People from Africa couldn’t normally make that sound because their noses are broader. Since that was so unusual to them, the term “Honky” or “Honkie” stuck. When I first heard this story I didn’t believe it, until I tried to produce this sound with my own nose. I found it virtually impossible to “honk” my nose. I told this story to my “white” office mate but he didn’t believe me, either. Then one day he blew his nose and produced the loudest “honk” you ever heard. He looked at me and I looked at , and he said: “That’s right! I’m a Honkie!” We laughed and laughed about that one. I figure people were much more perceptive back then.
POSTED JULY 1, 1998
Brian L., black, Chicago, IL

FURTHER NOTICE:
I was told this is because we tend to speak through our nasal passages rather than from the diaphragm, producing a horn or honking quality to the sound of our voices.
POSTED JULY 17, 1998
A.P. Russell, white female, San Jose, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 2:
I have heard this term comes from the early days of autos. Because the owners of these early cars were mostly white, it was basically viewed as a white man’s item – one of status. When one of these vehicles would come down the street, it would have to contend with bikes, early day skatebords (with the box on the front … remember?) and pedestrians. When confonting these obstacles, the car owner would “honk” his horn. Hence, the term “honky” (impatient car owner) was born. Actually, I thought the term “honky” had been retired along with the term “colored.” Who knew.
POSTED AUG. 4, 1998
Demetris <Demetris@earthlink.net>, Frederick, MD

FURTHER NOTICE 3:
As with most terms, there are a variety of possible origins. I have heard that the term “Honkie” came into being when white men arriving via their automobiles to pick up black prostitutes would honk their car horns for the ladies of the evening to come out and join them. Supposedly that is the origin of “honkie,” although as a black man I haven’t heard that term used in years.
POSTED AUG. 11, 1998
M.White, black <Sfa2z@aol.com>, San Francisco, CA

FURTHER NOTICE 4:
Back in the day, when automobiles were becoming popular, only whites could afford and drive them. So whites would drive around in their cars and “honk” at pedestrians. And blacks, who of course didn’t have cars, started calling white people “honkies.” That’s what I heard.
POSTED OCT. 28, 1998
Johnny B., 21, white male, Minneapolis, MN

FURTHER NOTICE 5:
The real reason blacks call white people “honkies” is the same reason white people call blacks “niggers.” It is a form of disrespect to belittle whites as they try to belittle blacks. In my opinion, both of the terms are very ignorant. I find the answer to this question very easy. I mean, look how long blacks have been referred to as “niggas.” The term “honkey” is only a counter-attack against whites. It’s all really ignorant, and anyone who’s intelligent and respectful of others would’nt use either of the two.
POSTED NOV. 5, 1998
Faith , J. black, Detroit, MI
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