[Nikki]

It doesn’t hurt to ask! I am a 38-year-old female who is dating a man of 29 (we have been together 3 years). I will tell you some of the irritants I got from him (at first) – maybe these will help you. When I first met my guy he used to hang around with ‘kids’ (late teens to early 20’s). I really could not get along with these people. They acted like silly teenagers and he did, too, when he was around them. Also, because of their age, they tended to be self-centered and rude. They also did not have too much to say due to lack of life experience. Also, they were all underage and could not go anywhere (bars, clubs, etc). So – don’t act like a jerky little kid. If you are “older” in personality and have a wide range of interests, this shouldn’t be a problem. Next, never use the words ‘Dude’ or ‘Awesome’. (This goes for outside of dating as well – it marks your age and makes you look dumb). Next, older women are (the ones I’ve met anyway) not so ‘mushy’ and ‘lovey dovey’ as younger girls. So don’t come on like a ton of bricks. Older women are more intelligent due to more life experience, so listen – don’t get cocky or be a know-it-all. Most older women aren’t too interested in doing ‘kid’ type things, either, such as going to a hip hop club or a kegger. I think, overall, if you are mentally ‘older for your age,’ you should be OK. Be honest – say you feel a bit intimidated. Maybe ask her out for a drink (a quiet spot or neighborhood pub) or for coffee. Something low key. (PS…I told my BF that his entourage of kiddies were mainly interested in him for his ID and a place to drink, and that they would eventually tire of him or screw him over. Which is exactly what they did. So be wary of acting like a dumb kid.)

User Detail :  

Name : Nikki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Nikki]

My ‘first time’ did not hurt at all! I guess I am one of those who was born without a hymen. As a matter of fact, it was SO BORING that I could not believe what all they hype was about!!!! (Now that I am older its a little more enjoyable, but I STILL think sex is over-rated!) In any case, a thought I had was that if you are very fearful of pain, blood, etc. I am pretty sure that you can go to a gynecologist and have them ‘pop’ it for you. You may even be able to get some painkillers and I’m sure it would be much more ‘sterile’ and clean. I know I have heard that you can get this done. If you should choose to do this and your guy questions it or the whole ‘virginity’ thing-tell him honestly that you wanted to avoid pain and mess. If he’s some ‘macho’ sort who really wants to ‘pop’ it himself, then he’s a jerk to be gotten rid of anyway. Oh and one more thing: I see you say you are Catholic. Please keep in mind that the churches view of virginity, stemming from the old days, is mostly to do with male control of MONEY- they wanted to make sure the children were theirs, so they passed their money to true heirs. I certainly do not mean to offend you and respect your views, I say this so you will think when men pressure you to do things (whether its sex OR remaining a virgin). It is YOUR body, just remember that. Reading some feminist literature may give you some food for thought-doesn’t mean you have to AGREE with it, but its good to consider all points of view. (Goes for all subjects, yes?) Good Luck! PS Lube always helps! Virgin or not!

User Detail :  

Name : Nikki, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 38, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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