[Manfred]

Your response is correct. Mere race does not equate to heritage. I note in two of the other responses to your post, both from ethnic minorities, that there seems an implied fear of how society will treat the black child of white parents. One of these even mentioned the Nazi/Skinhead phantom. To be sure, there are racists in our society, but our society is civilized enough that we may now trust it to press against gross racial prejudice.

As for racial insults and other profane but legal forms of speech, what does black culture offer that is more potent than integrity and other virtues? I think nothing. Indeed, black culture is in many ways crippled by fear and grief, so much so that a great many blacks literally recoil at a mere word, even causing a general fear in society such that we must now use euphemisms for specific vulgarities. We do not protect our children from racial profanities and epithets by boisterous scorn and fear. This sort of behavior actually gives greater power to the profanities than they deserve. We counter vulgarity with integrity. When I, as a young child, first brought the subject of racists before my father, he calmly turned to me and said blankly that they were wrong. I was at once faced with the choice of believing the racists or believing my father. It was an easy choice because my dad had lived such a life of kindness toward me and integrity in general that, juxtaposed with uncouth racists, he appeared as dignity personified. I believed him on the faith of his integrity, and the issue was done. I could sleep with confidence. As I grew and saw myself as a black man thriving in the context of my father’s heritage and culture, I saw for myself that my father was exactly right. Racists are wrong. I am impervious to racial vulgarity and profanity because of the quiet dignity of my parents. These people trusted me to carry their heritage into the future, and they proved their stated trust by decades of love and cultural training. I am now prepared to do my duty to them and indeed am carrying it out. That is how we prepare children against racism – not by anger and fear.

User Detail :  

Name : Manfred, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 30, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Manfred]

Focus on your own culture and values, and not on your granddaughter’s race. You have no special duty to black culture merely because your granddaughter is black; and your granddaughter will not suffer any more than any other child should you unflinchingly impart your world view to her via your children. By her parents’ and your persistently high expectations and example, she will eventually come to share and espouse your beliefs. And this will give her certain knowledge that she is an extension of your moral and spiritual force. She will come to see that the same noble mind and heart that lives in you also lives in her, without respect to race. You will see it gradually develop, and it will bind you to her in ways that you cannot now comprehend. The goal of parents and grandparents should always be spiritual and cultural oneness with their offspring – biological or otherwise. Work toward this and your granddaughter will experience few conflicts. Do not separate yourself from her by intentionally giving her cultural values foreign to your own, and do not in any way tiptoe around issues of race. Handle the minor issues of race, how to care for her hair, for example, as if they are mere tasks of the overall job of making her presentable, the best representative of your values she can be. Should you purposefully cause cultural wedges between you, she will certainly grow insecure, seeing her race as an innate barrier so significant that it compels you to send her toward cultural experiences in which you yourself would not partake. The same would occur were she very short or tall and you incessantly focused on her height as opposed to unabashedly loving her because she is your granddaughter. I think we must not confuse race and heritage. I am black with white parents. I have never felt a need to identify with blacks in particular, and my parents have never felt a need to do anything in this area. They taught me their own culture, which is now mine. It is from that vantage point that I approach the world, and I have no conflict whatever about my identity. I am a black, English-speaking American male, the essential product of European culture. I move through various ethnic groups as well as most because I try to approach relationships more from the perspective of mutual ideals and honor, rather than race.

User Detail :  

Name : Manfred, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 30, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Author]

Posts