Bal

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  • in reply to: Black women dating white men #20278

    Bal
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    I am a white male dating a black woman for the last 3 years. I see five distinct questions here: Question #1: white-male/black-female perceived unaccepted to blacks? IMHO #1) many white males are financially better-off then many of thier black counterparts, and are the clear beneficiaries of racism/better opportunities/starting position in America. IMHO #2) most African Americans are not happy about #1. IMHO #3) other things being equal, women of any race prefer men who are finacially well-off to those who are not. The complaint that I've heard is that in the open marketplace for male partners, black women going outside of their race are 'cheating' by choosing the white men that have an unfair advantage in financial stability. Think of it like foreign imports -they're always going to be cheaper because of low labor costs; well that white-boy's going to be able to better provide for her because if takes less of his money to do so. These are gross generalities, but most dirty looks we get are from strangers that don't know our situation & assume anything they want to. To people who know nothing about the situation, all they see is that she has lost confidence that a brother will be able to treat her right and has switched to the other side. That betrayal, that vote of non-confidence in their own race is not exactly appreciated.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bal, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Black women dating white men #26408

    Bal
    Participant
    Question #4: black-male/white female more acceptable to whites? IMHO #7) black men are perceived by white-men as more extroverted, bigger, stronger, aggressive, and more violent. I don't know if black-male/white-female pairings are more accepted by whites, I suspect that they are not, but I know that because of IMHO#7 that white men are unlikely to initiate a confrontation, dirty looks, or other signs of outward disapproval. IMHO #8) males perceive everything in terms of sex. IMHO #9) perceived believes in sexuality, muscle-mass & penis size have a profound effect on white-men. IMHO #10) despite other circumstances or facts, white-men will belive in the back of their head that white-women chose black-men for sexuality releated reasons that white-men cannot compete on. If a black-man feels financially insecure to white-men, that's something for historically unjust reaons and something to get jealous or angry over. But a white-man feeling sexually insecure to black-men is perceived to be genetic, unchangeable, and just depressing rather than anger or confrontation inducing. Question #5: black-male/white female more acceptable to blacks? no idea.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bal, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Black women dating white men #30145

    Bal
    Participant
    Question #2: are white-male/black-female unaccepted to whites? I don't believe that white-male/black-female pairings are seen as unacceptable to whites. I've never had any issues in my 35+ person family or in friends. If anything, among our social circles it's almost a bonus; 200+ years of being the benificiaries of racism breeds a guilt and insecurity, alleviated by being more diverse & inclusive in bite-sized chunks. Whites feel vicariously more diverse hanging around us without the threat of cultural alienation that would come with actually submersing themselves within the community or another race. sad but true.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bal, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    in reply to: Black women dating white men #47152

    Bal
    Participant
    Question #3: black-male/white-female more common? IMHO #4) black women are perceived by whites as more confident, stand-offish, and brash than white women. IMHO #5) white men are more introverted, less hip, more reserved, and less confident in thier ability to hit on members of the opposite race than black men. being at the top of the racial pecking order has advantages but also breed racial insecurity. I don't believe that it's as much a question of acceptable as a question of likely to happen. If I see a black woman in a club, who is together with a similar group of black women, what reason would I believe that she would welcome advances from an unhip geeky white yuppie rather than someone who has more in common with her life and background? I'm lucky that my S.O. came over to me first, as I never would have gotten the nerve to come over to her. Look at Rap vs Emo music for a stark distinction in racial emotional confidence. So much of black culture seems to be confidence & fronting; not to say that it works, but a culture of confidence means that rejection is the limiting factor to hooking up rather than courage. IMHO #6) perceived sexuality and size related rumors may have an effect on women. probably not much of an effect, but I'd gather there are more white-women curious to find out if black-men are bigger than there are black-women just dying to find out if white-men are actually smaller.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Bal, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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