[Angela B.]

These sound to me like ‘pearly penile papules’ – here’s a link at emedicine.com: http://www.emedicine.com/derm/topic313.htm. If you do a google search on that phrase, you should be able to come up with a lot of reassuring information. The web pages all seem to make a point about them being a ‘normal anatomical variation’…in other words, pretty dang normal. Here’s another site that addresses it, too: http://www.medhelp.org/forums/dermatology/messages/31559a.html I have no suggestions on how to feel less uncomfortable – if you want to – except to remember that while you may not care for the appearance, he has to *live* with it. If you can imagine how you would feel if he refused to perform oral sex on you because your labia were unappealing (or whatever), at least you might understand how your discomfort may appear to him.

User Detail :  

Name : Angela B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Bothell, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Angela B.]

I know a self-mutilator. I have engaged in self-mutilation myself. But the one woman I know has never *asked* for my help. She finally found a way to stop herself from pinching holes in her arms and hands: she had some beautiful temporary tattoos put on her arms. She didn’t want to damage them by pinching herself there. But you see…she found this for herself. She didn’t ask for help. As for myself….I mentioned what I had done to my family doctor, and she had me in seeing a therapist within a week. I think a lot of mutilators want help, but they don’t want the kind of help others offer – like having to go talk to a therapist once a week, or even taking medications – because of the stigma attached. As for the rest of us….well, please, I don’t understand the tenor of your question. What do you mean, why are we so taken aback? You’re HURTING yourself. Of course we’re taken aback! Why don’t we try to understand? What do you need us to understand? That physical pain helps blot out emotional pain? Oh, I understand that. What else do you think we should try to understand? Because if I knew that, maybe I’d have a better answer for you. As it is, it sounds like you want people to affirm what you do to yourself, – to pat you and tell you it’s okay. And I don’t think that’s society’s role to play.

User Detail :  

Name : Angela B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Bothell, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Angela B.]

I understand that female ‘circumcision’ – more accurately called ‘clitoridectomy’ and even ‘infibulation’ depending on the degree of the mutilation – is illegal in the US and most of Europe, however it is practiced ‘under the table’. See: http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=3806689 for a recent article about its occurrance in Europe. Apparently the New York Times did an expose a couple of years ago about Somali refugees continuing this practice in the USA ‘sub-rosa’ but I could not find a link to this article. I think some deeper digging would turn it up.

User Detail :  

Name : Angela B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Bothell, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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