I found this entry rather ironic seeing as there have been no replies in three months. I have known many people who have had problems with self mutilation. I was one, but I don't claim to have experienced physci behind it as I simply liked to watch the blood. I've had many close friends that do it for many different reasons. In some cases they do it because they feel they have to punish themselves. Some do it because they feel thier bodies should be defiled, often a result of being previously defiled by a second party. Others don't exactly have a conscious reason why they do it. It's a rather sensitive subject. Most people turn the subject down because they feel it's a very extreme phsycotic disorder. It's easy to understand why most people find it so disturbing. When a younger person needs help, they tend to look in thier elders. However, because us younger generations have been so drastically decencitized, there lies a huge gap of understanding and/or empathy. But in the end, you'll either figure it out or you won't.
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Name : Pink Beblowski, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Omnitheistic, Age : 19, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : service industry, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, Most people just have no concept of why anyone would attempt to harm themselves. They don't know of any reason someone would do this, and frankly they're afraid. They get it in their heads that anyone that can inflict damage to themselves is a little cuckoo, and would probably try to inflict damage to them as well, so they shy away.I used to have a problem with self mutilation, specifically smashing my fists into inanimate objects hard enough to break bones, and slicing my arms with rather sharp knives. I know first hand the pain that goes with it (not the physical kind). I eventually stopped for the most part, although I still get the urge to occasionally pound a wall, but the only real way to deal with it is to find friends, family, or even a professional counselor to help in dealing with the underlying factors that cause this behavior.
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Name : J.L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 29, City : Sheridan, State : AR Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, Amanda !I think people in general are scared of soemthing they dont understand.Another reason for this could be that they feel that if this person can do this to him/her self, then what is he/she capable of doing to me in one of those mood swings.Personally,I dont have any problems with people with such tendencies.All they need is constant company to keep them occupied and happy.This would,in a span of time,change their attitude towards themselves.
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Name : AVi23423, Gender : M, Age : 25, City : Hyd, State : NA Country : India, Stop doing that. You're only hurting yourself.
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Name : Harry Highstreet, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Aliens, Disability : Mental, Race : First Place, Religion : Messlopian, Age : 68, City : St. Clair, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Author, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, My daughter went through the same thing Amanda. We didn't find out about it until the counsellor from her school gave us a call. I think the reason people are afraid because the reasons that people self mutilate can be so diverse, they're worried that issue will be more than they can handle. It's almost like 'out of site, out of mind'. My daughter received counselling, and we were involved as well. My daughter is doing much better now and I still ask her every now and again if she's self harming still and to show me her arms and legs (she was very good at hiding it . It's been over a year now since the last time she cut herself and she deals with whatever is stressing her out in a much healthier way. Please, talk to someone that you trust. Someone like the counsellor at your school, or your Doctor. Please Amanda, talk to someone. There are people that care. Even though some days it doesn't seem like it, there are, honest. Good Luck.
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Name : Dutch, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 43, City : Edmonton Alberta, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 
MHParticipant
This type of problem may be improved with modern SSRI medicaions. They are not a cure but will decrease the compusive need for such behavior. Professional counselling is also necessary. People are afraid to help because it is such a foreign thing to most people.
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Name : MH, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, When someone is violent towards themselves, the bystander feels very helpless. It is difficult to defend the weak, otherwise everyone would do it, not just heros. Just like it is hard to jump into the middle of a fight or to say something harsh to a man who abuses a woman, it is hard to try to stop someone from hurting themselves. Therefore, people often sit and sigh and say 'what a pity' when bad things happen to good people. THAT is why we do not help. We are afraid. We are weak too.
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Name : MrsCoop, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 27, City : E Stroudsburg, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Administrative Assistant, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class, I'm a recovering self-injurer, and even though I tried my best to hide it when I was cutting, I know people noticed. Nobody ever said anything or reported it to my guidance counselor at school or told my parents. I've talked about this phenomenon with people before and the most common answers I get are 'I was afraid it would make you more depressed,' or 'I was afraid they'd send you to a hospital or something.' I think that with teenagers this is not caused by a lack of concern so much as it is caused by a lack of trust in the school guidance office...nobody wants to get their friend 'in trouble,' even if it's clear that they already are.
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Name : Meghan M, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : bi-curious, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 17, City : Vienna, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, When I was in high school I had a friend who I knew was cutting himself but I didn't think I should offer to help, or talk because I didn't think they wanted to. (Don't ask, don't tell attitude.) You should really try to talk to people about what is going on with you and if they are afraid to talk to you, fear of making things worse or just ignorance, then talk to a counselor or a therapist who is trained to help.
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Name : Kristina Krueger, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 24, City : Muscatine, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Social Work, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I know a self-mutilator. I have engaged in self-mutilation myself. But the one woman I know has never *asked* for my help. She finally found a way to stop herself from pinching holes in her arms and hands: she had some beautiful temporary tattoos put on her arms. She didn't want to damage them by pinching herself there. But you see...she found this for herself. She didn't ask for help. As for myself....I mentioned what I had done to my family doctor, and she had me in seeing a therapist within a week. I think a lot of mutilators want help, but they don't want the kind of help others offer - like having to go talk to a therapist once a week, or even taking medications - because of the stigma attached. As for the rest of us....well, please, I don't understand the tenor of your question. What do you mean, why are we so taken aback? You're HURTING yourself. Of course we're taken aback! Why don't we try to understand? What do you need us to understand? That physical pain helps blot out emotional pain? Oh, I understand that. What else do you think we should try to understand? Because if I knew that, maybe I'd have a better answer for you. As it is, it sounds like you want people to affirm what you do to yourself, - to pat you and tell you it's okay. And I don't think that's society's role to play.
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Name : Angela B., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Bothell, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Understand what? You say you need people to help you, but why don't you try to help yourself? You cut yourself because you feel you need the attention and pity of other people. You need professional psychological help that not just any person can give you. Anybody can give you the attention you crave, but its not going to help you to stop hurting yourself. You already recognize by yourself, that you need help, that is a good step in the right direction. Seek out help yourself, if nobody around you will offer it.
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Name : John29223, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class, It's awkward for people to talk about. How do people say 'I've been there.' When so many people are abused, it is looked down upon when people abuse themselves. But if inward pain is brought out, the physical pain erasing the inner anguish, we feel better. What you need to do is find other ways--talking, writing, drawing, something--to bring it out without pain. There is expression without scars.
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Name : Ben There, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Columbus, State : OH Country : United States, Occupation : Interpreter, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I think people are alarmed by 'cutters' because it is completely foreign. They don't know what it means. They don't know how to help. They don't want to make it worse by saying the wrong thing or embarrassing you. Tell people what you need and how to help. It's not that they wouldn't like to, it's that they don't know how.
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Name : Dana27195, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 30, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, From the way you worded your question, I think you may have sought help for self-mutilation (either for yourself or for someone else) and did not get the appropriate help. I urge you to be persistent and keep trying until you get the help you need. The attitude you need is that of the obnoxious preschooler who keeps asking 'Why?' You need to keep asking 'Who can help me if you can't?' Many people, even in those in the medical professions, do not understand self-mutilation. They don't understand it because they don't have much experience, education and/or knowledge about it. Only relatively recently did self-mutilation start getting much press, either in professional journals or in general-interest publications. It wasn't all that long ago that anorexia and bulimia were relatively unknown to most people. However, more and more people are becoming aware of self-mutilation with every passing day. Just a few months ago, my 13-year-old niece sent me some e-mailed junk that mentioned self-mutilation. I told her that anyone involved in this practice needs help and support and that, if she knew someone who was into self-mutilation, she should talk to that person's parents, teachers, clergy, etc., to get that person the help they need. I also told her to try and try again if her first attempts to help did not appear successful -- even to the point of calling in the local social services department, if needed. As you are 18 (and, I assume, many of your friends are), you may not have some of the options my niece has available to her. Still, if you or someone you know is into self-mutiliation, keep trying to get help. There are treatments available, and there are professionals who understand the problem. If your own physician cannot help, try calling the counselors at your local college or school system. Look in the phone book for 'help lines' and call them -- it doesn't matter what 'help line' you call; if they're worth the name 'help line', they will try to help, once you explain the problem. Call your local hospital and ask if there is someone there who can help. Keep trying until you find the understanding professionals you need to help you with this issue. Hang in there. Help is available, but it may take some work to find it.
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Name : Lewis, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Health care office work, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
NParticipant
I'm assuming that by you're statement of 'we need people to help us' that you are a self mutilator. I am not, but I probably understand the emotional pain that may cause it better than most. I've read books on the topic, but, in my opinion, they discount the individual and make things more into a general sense. There's not much anyone can really do to help over the net, but it's not as unusual of a problem as you may think. To answer your question, people fear what they don't understand. This fear generally leads to an avoidance of the topic. They simply don't want to understand as it is a rather extreme coping method. Just rest assured, it's not that unusual. All you need is someone to talk to. Don't be scared to talk about what goes on inside your head. You may be surprised how many people may understand.
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Name : N, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 26, City : Minot, State : ND Country : United States, Occupation : Restaurant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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