[Mike S]

Not having a noticeable handicap is difficult. I’m sure you feel compelled to define your condition immediately in social settings. Bad move. Have a sense of humor about spilt drinks or whatever. I’m sure you have other qualities (character) as well as good looks. Let someone discover them and you’ll realize your condition isn’t a handicap. So get out and enjoy yourself. Spill a drink on a cute guy.

User Detail :  

Name : Mike S, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 48, City : Amherst, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : HandyMan, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[JW]

The right, nice guy won’t care one bit that you tremble. Get out there. He’s looking for you, too. Have you tried one of the online dating services? They usually give you a long ‘talking time’ prior to being able to have a face-to-face date so you usually know up front whether or not the person is a good match for you. People that are caring don’t care about things like trembling hands. And, have you thought about using bar straws and sipping through them without touching the glass? What about gripping with both hands, in opposition to each other? Would that mute the tremble? Finally, bottles of beer or even the new exotic vodka mixes are very hard to shake or spill with a tremble.

User Detail :  

Name : JW, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 55, City : Tulsa, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Scientist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jeff]

I wonder how noticeable the tremor becomes. I, too, have a similar problem, which some neurologists have chosen to call an ‘essential tremor.’ (As an aside, I do not know what is so darn essential about it)! If you have had the tremor for long, you already know ways to compensate for it — hold drinks in the non-trembling hand, hold the podium if speaking publicly, or avoid the situation. I would suggest standing or sitting near a table or some other place to put your drink (but don’t leave it unattended, especially in a bar). Socialize and go back to take a drink when needed. Another question: if you drink, does alcoholic beverages slow the tremor? My tremor is on my right side and it gets more pronounced when I am under stress — from public speaking, physical exertion, even getting angry. I have gotten the snide comments from people about being nervous or scared, even in my forum — a courtroom. Above all, user the pre-emptive strike. Acknowledge the fact that you have the trembling and get it out of the way. Develop a sense of humor about it. I have been happily married for almost nine years and my wife and her best friend kid around about it — calling me ‘Shaky,’ etc. If the guy can not get past something that is part of you, he will not get past much and is not worth pursuing. Do not settle.

User Detail :  

Name : Jeff, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 37, City : Warren, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Jim L]

I have the same type of tremor, mine is called ‘essential Tremor’ in the medical lingo. Mine is treatable by using a drug called ‘Propranolol’ (Generic) or ‘Inderal’ (trade name). It works well for me, but talk to your doctor and ask for a prescription if He/She says it might work in your case. I cannot put a spoon in my mouth without it. It works well for most of the day and if I am going to a party, I save part of it (2 tablets per day) for the afternoon. Hope this helps you. (BTW) I have had mine most of my life – it is not age related.

User Detail :  

Name : Jim L, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 64, City : Burlington, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Tool & Die Maker, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, 

[Michael]

As long as you’re comfortable talking about it with others, I don’t see too much of a problem here. I know it’s not the same thing, really, but I have this thing with my teeth (I’m not certain what it’s called) where both my cuspids come out the side of the gum, above and in front of my other teeth. This makes me look a little strange when I talk because I’m always trying to cover them with my upper lip, but I can’t hide them when I smile. So I just mention it to people when I feel they’ve noticed, maybe make a light joke about having ‘fangs’, then casually shift the conversation to another topic. That way, neither of us is uncomfortable. Granted, my problem is something small that can be corrected with relative ease, but I don’t think your problem is really all that different. We all have things that we get self-concious about, albeit to varying degrees. So if you realize someone noticing it, just say something about it and let it go. As long as you are confident with yourself, everything else will fall into place… especially when it comes to dating. And anyone who can’t accept that as part of you isn’t really the type of person anyone should be dating.

User Detail :  

Name : Michael, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Existential Nilhist, Age : 29, City : Canton, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Lower class, 

[Dudley]

I think it’s great that, in spite of CH, you still think of yourself as a ‘very attractive girl.’ Whether a guy [or gal] is ‘nice’ or not can usually be seen in whether or not they care about others more than themselves. To put it another way… all guys who treat women badly have this in common: they’re basically selfish. Get busy serving others and while you’re there look for a single guy who cares more about other people than himself. You’ll get to observe him dealing with difficult situations and people too.

User Detail :  

Name : Dudley, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 52, City : Knoxville, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : Computer Programmer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ann P]

A member of my family also has a very hoarse voice due to surgery. The biggest problems as a listener are 1.) it sounds uncomfortable and 2) it’s hard to read any expression into it. Any advice for the ones who are listening? We don’t want to make a difficult situation worse.

User Detail :  

Name : Ann P, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 58, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : business, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Bill]

Unfortunately one constant about the human race is our ability to be cruel. No matter what it is that is different there will be someone who will ridicule. The trick is not caring about the jerks and concentrate on the nice people. Start with your friends at work, school or church. As you become comfortable being around them with your trembling slowly work out to new situations. Don’t let little setbacks get you down. When you meet some guy that seems nice let him know what’s going on. If he’s worth anything he will understand and it won’t make any difference. Don’t lose heart, there are still some good guys.

User Detail :  

Name : Bill, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Epilepsy, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 49, City : Dry Ridge, State : KY, Country : United States, Occupation : Informations Systems Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mike]

I’ve got the same or a very similar problem. One doctor told me it was an intention tremor, and that it will stop upon making contact with the object I wish to carry. Like a cup of coffee. So OK, it’s a good thing that my wife is always around after I spill whatever it is I’m carrying. The cure? Use two hands. And, it can be done graciously without drawing unwanted attention. In my case, it cut the problen down by at least 90 percent.

User Detail :  

Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 73, City : Tokyo, State : FL, Country : Japan, Occupation : interpreter, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Lynn22507]

Are you sure you aren’t suffering from social anxiety? Do your hands tremble only in social situations? If so, stress reduction techniques may help.

User Detail :  

Name : Lynn22507, Gender : F, Age : 43, City : Omaha, State : NE, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Cindy31941]

You sound like a very confident young lady. Kudos! My advice… think of those who have it worse than you… get yourself out there… and just ask for a straw. Your self-esteem will take care of the rest.

User Detail :  

Name : Cindy31941, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : Appleton, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : Technology, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[George-B]

A friend of mine once dated a lady with no arms. She always wore a cape to avoid stares. She was a very confident woman and a joy to be around. Shyness is a whole issue apart from the cerebral hypoxia. Work on that, and you will find people will soon stop noticing your hands and accept you as you are. You wouldn’t really care to be around those judging people, anyway, but now you’re missing out on all the other great people, too. There are lots of help books on shyness.

User Detail :  

Name : George-B, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : Louisville, State : KY, Country : United States, Occupation : Consultant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Mike]

Your nice guy isn’t at a bar unless you want to be railed in the butt and told he will be there for you as he slips out the window with bedsheets and a broken-down Buick SkyLark. My suggestion is: go to the bars to let your hair down, enjoy your work, and have fun. Somewhere we’ll cross paths.

User Detail :  

Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Standup Comediean, Writer, Web Comic Producer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Cecilia]

That must be a little scary. But take heart. If you’re nervous that a man won’t give you a shot because he’s afraid of your disability, just think about it this way: a really nice guy isn’t going to reject you over something like that. I think the bigger obstacle is going to be your self-confidence. If you’re afraid of spilling something and embarassing yourself, I’m wondering if you go out much with friends or family. If not, give it a try! Go somewhere informal and fun, where a glass getting knocked over isn’t that big a deal. You need to get to a point where you believe that you’re a good catch, because confidence is sexy. And face it, you have a lot to be confident about. You have a college degree, which makes you smarter than average; you’re an entrepreneur, which makes you ambitious and brave; you’re attractive, and you’re still young. You have more going for you than a lot of women out there. Oh, and be open to meeting men in situations other than the standard ‘singles scene.’ Martinis in Manhattan sounds so shallow to me… maybe not the best place to meet the nice guy you’re looking for. Meet friends of friends, pick up some hobbies, go volunteer.

User Detail :  

Name : Cecilia, Gender : F, Age : 34, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, 

[Sean B.]

My hands shake too, although I don’t think as bad as yours, but people notice sometimes. My mother is a lifelong nurse and has almost completed schooling for massage therapy. She advises me to massage my hands and forearms when it gets bad. What I have is idiomatic hand tremors (which means they don’t know what causes it) and it runs in my family. I’m always up front when people say things like ‘your hands are shaking.’ Don’t treat it as a big deal and other people won’t; they will like you (or sometimes not) for the person you are. Maybe you should stick to bottled beer, if your concerned about spilling drinks when your out

User Detail :  

Name : Sean B., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Just very spiritual, Age : 24, City : Annapolis, State : MD, Country : United States, Occupation : Retired College Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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