Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 25 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 23 years, 2 months ago by
.
- Posts
I do think the problem is multi-factored. I was a very young parent and my child is now 21 and a senior in college. While I did discipline her, I feel what was most effective was consistency. When she was young and did something wrong I spanked her hands or her bottom. I never slapped her or hit her with anything. When she got older she was punished (sent to her room, not allowed to go with her friends, etc.). I tried to respect her as a person, but she also knew my rules, what was allowed and what wasn’t. I’m not saying I never had any problems with her, but for the most part she was a well-behaved and respectful, although spirited, child. Today, there’s time-out, which isn’t bad in and of itself. But, as Patrick said, people are afraid to discipline their children because they fear legal repercussions and when their children do something wrong and they get lambasted for not being more strict. Unfortunately, I see many parents who say no then give-in 10 minutes later and let the kids do what they just told them they couldn’t. Then the parents wonder why their children ignore them and other rules/laws of society.
User Detail :
Name : D-Miller, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 39, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I really don’t think it’s fair to say all parents of children under 20 have failed. I’m nearly 18 and my parents have done a great job raising me. I just graduated from high school with high honors, I am in the National Honor Society and I will be traveling to Spain to attend classes for a month. When I get back, my parents are sending me to college.
Enough about me. Now I must defend my peers. My class had the highest ACT scores in the city this year. Granted there are always a few losers, but there always have been.
Perhaps volunteering at a local elementary school would help to change one’s views, while at the same time working to improve the problem.
User Detail :
Name : Robin, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 17, City : Aurora, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Student and Cashier, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,I know mine is not a popular opinion, but I think two-career families are at the root of the problem. Both parents are too tired from working all day to discipline their kids when they get home. They just want peace and quiet. Plus, many parents feel guilt over the lack of time they spend with their children, so they spoil them when they are around. Children are sent to school even when sick, because mommy and daddy have to go to work.
Children are not stupid. They are supposed to be our priority as parents, not our careers. Those children whose parents make them the priority know it. They know they are the most important thing in their parents’ worlds. I believe this is necessary.
I see this all the time. I have relatives and aquaintances who work full-time. I see the way they behave toward their children, and I see what their children get away with. I fear the way their children are going to behave when they get a little older. But most families are two-career families now, and no one wants to hear this. There’s no turning back.
The best thing that’s happened for children in this century is the trend toward home-schooling. I don’t think the children always learn the socialization skills they need, but at least it’s keeping their mothers home! Also, there seems to be a definite difference between the two-career families that have two Volvos in their three-car garage, and those who must work to make ends meet. Those who work because they truly have to seem to do better at focusing on their parental responsibilities. Please keep in mind that all of this is a blaring generalization, and it’s impossible to put all people in the same category.
User Detail :
Name : Judy, Gender : F, Age : 40, City : Burlington, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Stay-at-home mom, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The facts do not support your assumed truths. Violent crime is down, teen pregnancy is down, the average educational level is up. My son and more than 80 percent of his classmates spend a significant portion of their free time doing all sorts of volunteer work, from Big Brothers to repairing homes of the elderly poor. My son and his friends are far more polite, helpful and decent than the majority of the folks I work with, and my workplace is a very congenial one. They are certainly more caring and considerate than my own classmates were. Perhaps you would be better off asking why parents of people 20 to 40 have failed so miserably and caused such an awful danger to society.
User Detail :
Name : Victoria-W, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 41, City : Cincinnati, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Why are we always so willing to point the finger at everyone else? Most parents are doing an excellent job raising their children – it is a very hard job. When will we stop blaming just parents or the schools or the media for our “screwed up” generation. We are all to blame. Get involved. Mentor a child. You don’t need any special qualifications, just the capacity to love and spend time with a child.
Children need many nurturing influences in their lives, and as a society we need to begin to recognize this. I don’t have children of my own, but I work as a volunteer for several organizations that work with children. We can make a difference in this world – but we must all do our part. Stop saying “look at what is happening” and begin saying “what can I do to help?” Please look into organizations like CASA, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, YMCA, etc.
User Detail :
Name : Kristina26285, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Davenport, State : IA, Country : United States, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I was raised in a home with two loving parents who never laid a hand on me. They did teach me to love, to be happy, to care about friends and family, right and wrong, etc. Sure I was bad once in a while and got punished accordingly, but I don’t consider myself a menace to society now. My parents have never failed me, and I think it is unfair to blame the problems of society on the relatively small percentage of problem children.
User Detail :
Name : Wendy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 23, City : Fort Worth, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Distribution manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree that many young people seem to be without discipline and direction. However, to lump any kind of group (age, sex, race, etc.) together only shows narrow-mindedness. I have a very mature, responsible, likable, respectfull 19-year-old daughter. I have no doubt that there are plenty of great young people out there (and great parents who raised them). Perhaps you are basing your opinion on a few bad apples. It sounds like you need more exposure to young people.
User Detail :
Name : Renee30153, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 41, City : Irvine, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Technical Writer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,To Natalie: I’d like to address a few of the points you made: Discipline, i.e. spanking, can be very effective, depending on the child. ‘Hitting’ and ‘abuse’ is not discipline. I find that most, not all, people against spanking as a form of discipline were often abused under the guise of ‘discipline.’ Some children do not respond to that form of discipline.
Spankings usually involves swatting the child on the buttocks or paddling the hand. It is not to be done in anger (but, most times, it is). Your boyfriend hitting you is abuse. What’s the difference? Usually, when you’re being abused or hit by your boyfriend, it involves a few, if not one of the following: Shoving, pushing, slapping, punching, kicking, etc. Inflicting this type of behavior on a girlfriend, child or another individual can lead to serious trouble with the law (i.e. charges of aggravated assault, child abuse, etc.). It’s cool to go to your friends for some things, but they won’t always know or have the right answer because they’re probably going through the same things you’re experiencing. After all, would you go to a child psychologist who actually was a child? Or go to a dermatologist who had acne? As far as being spanked for fighting, most of the time the child is disciplined for fighting and/or starting/picking fights. Are you equating fighting with a spanking? Tell me, when was the last time you or someone you knew had a fight that involved swatting the buttocks and/or paddling the hand? Most of the fights I’ve seen were ‘battle royales’ or ‘fights to the finish,’ nowhere similar to spankings.
To Mark: I think most honest-hearted parents are doing their best to raise positive children in a society deluged with negative influences. I’m not rallying a ‘spank your child’ campaign, but I do believe there should be discipline that’s effective and applied when needed. And as far as ‘acculturating’ their children, most of the parents haven’t ‘acculturated’ themselves, so can you expect them to do so for their children? I tend to see parents spoiling their children more than disciplining them – bribing them with gifts or candy in an effort to ‘cajole’ them into behaving, which I don’t condone.
User Detail :
Name : Dacquiri, Gender : F, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States,My brother and I have the same parents, and we were disciplined exactly the same way. He has been known to steal and lie, and he loves to fight. I, on the other hand, couldn’t hurt a fly, despise fighting or arguing and find myself rather truthful for a teenager. Have you considered the thought that some violence is genetic? Parents have enough to handle as it is without trying to change the genetics of their kids. Think about your own life – do you honestly think you can blame your parents for every part of your personality?
User Detail :
Name : Jennifer N., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 16, City : Aurora, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : student/cashier, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Many parents are ‘doing their jobs.’ But it shows through the media, public schools and even the day cares that society is failing. I’ve felt for some time that there’s got to be a way to reach the whole of society and cause an awakening. Our world is slowly falling apart, and the younger generations do not seem to be equipped to hold it together. I believe this started long before my generation, but until now there hasn’t been such an obvious need for restructuring. Kudos to the parents who are raising their kids with morals and values, and to the people who are reaching out to help the others. But I feel one child at a time will not create enough change to save us. There’s got to be a means of reaching everyone. So far, it hasn’t been found.
User Detail :
Name : Bren, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 25, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Day Care Director, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,What rights do faggots have in saying parents 20 and younger have failed miserably? Their caught up in their own little fairy tale to know whats really going on. The problem is you people corrupting young kids with homosexual propaganda.
User Detail :
Name : doggie23954, City : hartford, State : CT, Country : United States,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.