Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences
- This topic has 27 replies, 28 voices, and was last updated 24 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I don’t think this is a gay thing. Most gay men I know do not try to dress or look like women. Some have feminine characteristics, but the only men I know who regularly wear makeup and/or dresses are completely straight. There are some gay men I know who cross-dress for pride parades and the like, but in that case it’s mostly a camp thing. I wonder if you are simply perceiving all people who try to dress and look like the opposite sex as gay. Or perhaps the gay people you know who do dress and act that way are so noticeable to you that you fail to see the much larger number of gay people who do not?
User Detail :
Name : John K., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 35, City : San Diego, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Quality Assurance Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am a gay man and am not attracted to effeminate men. Now, I say that, but I also have my own little preferences, different peculiarities to which I am attracted, as do all other people. You may as well ask why some straight men like women with small breasts or large breasts, painfully thin women or meatier women.
User Detail :
Name : Jim, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pantheist, Age : 22, City : Mnneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Cabinetmaker, Education level : Technical School,You may be confusing ‘gays’ with ‘cross dressers,’ While it is true that some gays are cross dressers, not all gays are – nor are all cross-dressers gay. Some may not be gay, but rather in the first stages of becoming a transvestite, or may simply have some psychological desire to dress as the opposite sex. The majority of gays are not cross-dressers, although some may choose to wear effeminite (or masculine) attire for whatever reason. Some wish to ‘advertise’ the fact they are gay (to attract other gays in attempts to start relationships) by dressing as the opposite sex. There are also ‘butches’ and ‘fems’ among gays and lesbians whose personalities simply lead them in the desire to dress accordingly.
User Detail :
Name : Mike20393, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 41, City : Santa Cruz, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Being a lesbian, I have asked myself that exact question. I guess there is no one answer, except that if that is what makes a person most comfortable, why not be comfortable? I also believe it is an identifier. It’s done so that you won’t have to wonder what or who another person is – you will basically know by looking. Also, a lot of lesbians feel as though they are men trapped in a woman’s body. In defense of lesbians who do dress more masculine, I believe that it’s to identify who is the stud (masculine version) and who is the fish (female version) in the relationship, and if you are pursuing a specific type of female. Also, there are just as many lesbians who do not dress masculine but are the studs in the relationships. I don’t believe in the role-playing process. Whoever I’m attracted to is going to be a woman, regardless of how they dress.
User Detail :
Name : Alanda-B29003, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Milwaukee, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : Health Information Assistant, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,As a gay man, I get frustrated when I see the media portray what you are stating as the norm. For example, when gay pride parades occur, you always see the people in the most outlandish costumes on the news (in many cases, men dressed as women). Although this is fun to watch for many, most of the gay men I know have never dressed as a woman, nor do they desire to. You never see the thousands of gay men who are watching the events. The stereotype is hard to break, though. I don’t care if someone dresses like a woman (and cross-dressers are not all gay), but I don’t like to be typecast as a man who likes to dress and look like a woman just because I am gay. I cannot answer your question about lesbians, but as a gay man, I am only attracted to men who look like men.
User Detail :
Name : John F., Gender : M, Age : 41, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I’m gay and don’t dress like a woman. By far, most gay guys don’t. That’s a stereotype in your mind because those are probably the only gay people who are visible to you. The vast majority of us pass by you every day and you don’t even notice. That’s because we look just like you; ordinary. If you passed me on the street, you’d never guess I was gay. That’s why many gays proclaim they are gay so people begin to understand how many of us there are. As long as we are vocal and visible, we can’t be ignored, and this society can’t keep denying us equal rights.
User Detail :
Name : Steve L., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 30, City : Shreveport, State : LA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,I don’t, and most of my friends don’t. I find anything feminine a turn-off.
User Detail :
Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40, City : Ft. Lauderdale, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I don’t think people try to dress ‘like’ a man or a woman. Some people want to be comfortable in their clothes. The culture identifies who can wear what. Some people try to be true to themselves and wear what they choose.
User Detail :
Name : Coleen, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 50, City : Granger, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : administrative assistant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,As a lesbian, I have often wondered the same thing. I am not attracted to women who dress, and sometimes act, like men. In my experience, I have found that those who appear to do this are, many times, not what they appear to be. Many of the most ‘butch’ women I have known and dated have been the most feminine women I have ever met in my life. It is not about being attracted to someone who tries to dress and look like a man; it is about connecting with another’s soul.
User Detail :
Name : Tina M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 32, City : Tulsa, State : OK, Country : United States, Occupation : Business Owner, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Speaking as a gay man, there are many reasons that some gays adopt feminine attributes, but it is important to realize that the vast majority of gays do not dress or act like women. While the gays who do act like this garner the most attention, they are a small minority. This doesn’t make them bad, by the way.
A gay man may choose to be effeminate because a) he is effeminate (we all know young boys who act like young girls at a very early age and never grow out of it), b) they feel the rejection of society and want to rebel against it by becoming outrageous, or c) they feel a camaraderie with other gay men by rejecting societal norms. They might also be catering to the population of straight men who want to feel like they’re with a woman but also want to be with a man. There are all kinds of people out there, and some gay men like straight-acting men (most, in my experience), while others like effeminate men. After all, if there were no market for effeminate men, they’d probably be very lonely and change their behavior.
User Detail :
Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,As a gay man, I have often asked myself the same question. I believe what exists today is a relic from a time when all people were assigned strict gender roles. All couples were made up of one person playing a ‘masculine’ role and one person playing a ‘feminine’ role. This was as true for Desi & Lucy Ricardo, Dwight & Mamie Eisenhower and Joe DiMaggio & Marilyn Monroe as it was for most gay men and lesbians of a certain time period. While what you refer to still exists, I believe it is becoming more of a fetish as opposed to the norm. And I believe the same can be increasingly said of gender roles in heterosexual couples.
User Detail :
Name : Dan, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 28, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,AMEN!!
User Detail :
Name : Nicole20050, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : des moines, State : IA, Country : United States,First, I think the word you are looking for is not ‘gayism’ but ‘homosexuality.’ Second, obviously you can’t use basic logic. You say homosexuals are ‘mentally ill’ and that therefore there is no ‘point in trying to figure them out.’ That does not make sense. If a person is mentally ill, you try to understand them and then go on to cure them. You do not just ignore and insult them. Third, you say you think that ‘most cases of gayism occur in the formulative years of a child’s life.’ Assuming that what you mean is that gay people become ‘ill’ while they are still children, I would like to ask you how exactly you think this happens. I would also like to know what a ‘normal, everyday person’ is and why it is necessary to be one.
Please write back; I am sincerely interested in your answers.
User Detail :
Name : Joe29372, Gender : F, Age : 17, City : Aberdeen, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.