[Dianne25740]

As the Caucasian mother of a wonderful little girl adopted from China, I'm curious about how the Chinese community feels about these foreign adoptions, as well as the issue of abandonment of infants in China.
Original Code R576. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click "to respond" below to reply.

User Detail :  

Name : Dianne25740, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Kitchener, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, 

[Chia-Pet]

My feelings: Thank you, you are the great white hope and I am glad you have taken it upon yourself to take on the white man's burden. I have to wonder why you found it necessary to adopt an Asian child when there are a million children in America who desperately need a family. Is it because it would be more noticable to others that you are a wonderful and generous person?

User Detail :  

Name : Chia-Pet, Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 23, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States, 

[Kathryn26645]

Um, maybe the number of Asian girlbabies adopted has something to do with the number of them languishing in orphanages? Will a social climate that says they are worthless? I think the demand for boy babies to adopt illustrates something; out-of-country adopters, it seems to me, take what they can get.

User Detail :  

Name : Kathryn26645, City : Roanoke, State : VA Country : United States, 

[Bill]

To David: Au Contraire! My uncle and aunt have adopted two Filipino children, one boy and one girl. So people do care about the boys, too. As for the thing about the girls liking white boys, don't most girls want to marry their dad? Apparently these girls grow up identifying with white men instead of Asian men. Who cares what race they marry, anyway? Should we all be homogenous?

User Detail :  

Name : Bill, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Southern Baptist, Age : 25, City : Charlotte, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Systems Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[David]

My feelings: Another white family adopting Asian females; never seen a white family adopt an Asian boy; another Asian female to be white-washed and to believe that white men are superior to Asian men; Asian boys are not worth adopting; Asian men are not adorable enough to be adopted; Asian men could all die off, and it wouldn't matter.

User Detail :  

Name : David, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian-American, Religion : Campbellian, Age : 26, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Law Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Nathan20143]

To David: I think you're overlooking the fact that because of the 'one family, one child' policy in China, families elect to keep their valuable sons and discard their daughters (sons, after all, get jobs and support their parents into old age, while daughters marry into another family) Therefore, Chinese orphanages are filled pretty much entirely with girls. I think it is a shame, however, that people are willing to travel all over the world to adopt a baby when there are thousands of children right here that need homes...they just happen not to be white.

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Name : Nathan20143, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Mr. Knowitall]

Yeah right, tough guy. People specifically set out to adopt an Asian girl so they can 'brain wash' her into believing Asian men are inferior to white men. Uh huh... sure, we're buying it. I've known so many Asians that like to keep to themselves and hate all other races: blacks, hispanics, whites, etc... you name it, they hate it. Also, if anything, we, in America, are taught that we are decades behind Asian coutries, specifically Japan. I personally, think you're an idiot and I can't believe they posted your ignorant, bigoted, racist reply.

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Name : Mr. Knowitall, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Melissa20784]

David, I am Korean and adopted into a white family. The boy-thing is not true though. My older brother is also an adopted Korean. Also at my parents chruch there are white parents who have adopted Asian boys. I sort of believe the white-wash society though. As a kid in a small town, I believed that I was white just like everyone else. I believe that I was raised as a white kid because obviosly, my parents are white and they didn't know how to teach me to 'act' Korean.

User Detail :  

Name : Melissa20784, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : Chelsea, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[BB23288]

I assume that you must have recieved a lot of racism or negative vibes from white people to feel this way. However, I personally don't feel that Asian boys are in any way inferior to any other little boys or girls. One of my closest friends is Chinese and she has one of the nicest children I have ever met, he is ten and very mature for his age. Of course I'm not saying that all asian boys must therefore be mature and caring. But I do think that you should try and ignore those narrow minded white people and try hard not to stereotype people in the same way that they are doing.

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Name : BB23288, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Edinburgh, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : PhD student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[JC31137]

I think it is fine that a white family adopt a Chinese girl. I assume you adopted her from China. There are far more girls abandoned in China than boys because of some stupid traditions. You are giving your love and care to an orphan who otherwise will receive little or no attention from others. I think it is great. You got an adorable daughter, and she found a warm home. I hope you can raise her with some cultural/racial sensitivity, try to be bicultural if you can, and let her decide who she wants to be in future.

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Name : JC31137, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 28, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jay]

Why are the Asian people responding so angry? These Caucasian parents are selflessly changing their entire lifestyle to care and nurture for a homeless child. In contrast, I have never known an Asian person to do anything for me.

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Name : Jay, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 31, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Karen]

I was under the impression that there are just more Chinese girls to adopt. I thought it was more culturally respectable to have your one child to be male.

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Name : Karen, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 24, City : Fitchburg, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Glyn]

You sound bitter, Dave. It's people like you who perpetuate the divisions between races.

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Name : Glyn, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Auburn Hills, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Roch]

David, Many couples in Kansas City have adopted Chinese girls. Their reasons have nothing to do with cuteness or negative feelings about Asian males. They adopt Chinese girls because they are healthy, readily available and the adoption process is straightforward. Many female infants are abandoned in China because of China's one child per family policy and the society's traditional preference for male children. Male infants are rarely abandoned unless they have severe handicaps. American couples can go to China and get a girl baby abandoned soon after birth and cared for by a state orphanage. These infants are not abused, rarely have health problems and the parents will not file suit later to have the child returned. If more Chinese boys were abandoned, more would be adopted. It's not a race thing, it's a supply-and-demand thing. Roch

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Name : Roch, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Kansas City, State : MO Country : United States, Occupation : Computer/technical, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Laura26074]

In response to David and Chia Pet: The reason there are fewer adoptions of Asian boys is that boys are more highly valued in Asian cultures - particularly in China where one child per family is the rule - so girls are put up for adoption much more frequently than boys. Secondly, many American families adopt children from other countries because the red tape involved is much less than with U.S. adoptions. Prospective parents can wait years and years for their child. Also, while there are many older children available for adoption in the United States, newborns are few and far between, and many families are reluctant to adopt older children for a variety of reasons, two of which are a) many of these children have severe emotional problems and b) there is no support system for adoptive parents once they have taken on the responsibility of a child who may have lifelong behavioral, emotional and other problems. This is very sad, but it is a fact. That being said, the reason many more white families adopt children of other ethnic backgrounds is simple economics. Even with a foreign adoption, it costs thousands and thousands of dollars to adopt a child, and Caucasians, being on top of the socioeconomic pile in the United States, simply have the money more often.

Finally, I would like to address the bitterness in both of these responses. Children are children; they are not political or racial statements. All they want is someone to love them, and Dianne has done something admirable in welcoming this child into her home. And what are the options for this little girl if Dianne hadn't done so, if only Asians could adopt Asians, or Caucasians could adopt Caucasians? Would you yourselves have adopted her, provided her with the care and love she needs? Unless you are willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood, don't cast aspersions on someone who is.

User Detail :  

Name : Laura26074, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Bel Air, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : College professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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