I am in love with a gay man who says he turned straight after falling in love with me. Can a gay become straight? If yes, what are the chances he'll turn gay again?
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Name : Naina A., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Hindu, Age : 25, City : Ahmedabad, State : na Country : India, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, The short answer is "no." Speaking as a man, sexual attraction to others does not "turn off" after falling in love (although acting on it does). Speaking as a gay man, being attracted to men does not stop or change after falling in love. Your friend may love you and have good sex with you, but he'll never stop being attracted to men.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Don't worry about it. You can remove his habit by getting closer to him not only physically but mentally. Show him the power of love, emotions and feelings. It will definitely change him.
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Name : Manoj, City : Ahmedabad, State : na Country : India, I don't believe you 'turn' gay or 'turn' straight. I have met many men married to women who have sex with men on the side. So, here's the options I see: 1. He may be bisexual, and may stay happily married to you. 2. He may feel pressured into marrying a woman, and because he has feelings for you, he sees it as a good way to alleve the outside pressure. 3. He may have a hard time dealing with being gay, and so he is trying to 'change' by marrying you. Bad signs of #3: getting irrationally angry at gay people, constantly asking you to go to gay clubs 'because the music is better,' disappearing for periods of time he can't account for and getting defensive when you ask him where he's been, having low sex drive, etc. From your point of view, I would just be honest with yourself and him, and with each other, and decide from there. If you are unsure, give it some time and see.
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Name : Craig31906, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Age : 40, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, No, absolutely not. My guess is your friend is struggling to come to terms with the fact he is gay or at least bi-sexual. He may be able to 'act straight' for his family's sake, but as you have probably read in the papers, HIV rates are rising partially because people aren't honest about who they are. Here in the US, we call men who say they are straight but play around with men as being 'on the down low'. Men in that situation are more likely to practice unsafe sex and bring HIV or another STD back home to their spouse. Save yourself and him alot of heartache. Stay friends with him and support him regardless of his sexual orientation, but move on.
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Name : David25917, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 37, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, It depends on if he's always been gay or if he's had relationships with women before. I know straight men who experimented with men and then went on to have committed, straight relationships with women. I also had a boyfriend who was 'straight' who never acted on his gay feelings, but made me feel miserable and unattractive because he never showed me affection or acted like he was attracted to me. Actions speak louder than words. If this guy acts like he's into you and willingly gives you affection, then I would take it slowly and see what happens.
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Name : Michele20521, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 31, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, suggest you read the work of noted scientist Alfred Kinsey, particularly his work on Human Sexuality and the Kinsey scale of heterosexuality to homosexuality. Craig is right with his comments. My husband was married for over a decade, and realized on his honeymoon that it did not change his attractions. He came out to his wife in the second year of their marraige, and they stayed together for another decade trying to 'work it out' and 'for the children' before he eventaully decided divorce was better than suicide. we have been together for 9 years and happily (although not 'legally') married for 8 years, and we have a wonderful, honest and open relationship with his ex-wife and the children.
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Name : J21178, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : ecumenical non-denominational, Age : 39, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, One cannot turn gay and turn straight. It is not a light swithch that can be turned on and off with the flick of a switch. If a man is attracted to other men he will always be. He may also be attracted to females, but one does not lose that attraction. This is why it is called sexual orientation and not sexual preference. Beleive me, I know from experience.
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Name : Ray30072, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 42, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, It is highly unlikely that anyone can successfully change their sexual orientation. I tried to become straight by getting married and was married for 33 yrs. Although I was able to function as a straight, I was still gay and wanted to have relations with other men. After my wife died, I decided to quit fooling myself and I have fully enjoyed the gay orientation for the past 6 six years and quite frankly I would never go back to trying to be strainght again. I have never been happier since I got myself past the guilt that society trys to put on us for being gay, which really is not a choice, but, if it were I would choose it having lived both ways.
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Name : Clay, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 68, City : Shawnee Mission, State : KS Country : United States, Occupation : Retired, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, No Way!
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Name : Tisik, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Disability : Deaf, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 47, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, You want it to be true; he may want it to be true. It is not true that a person can change his orientation. I've never seen a case of it, but I have seen multiple cases of horribly flawed marriages and lives ruined by believing a man has or will change. It is not a habit, it is not a choice, it is who he is. He obviously is not ready to face his own truth. Do not let him suck you into his delusion of normalcy; it cannot last.
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Name : Phruce-T, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 52, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Being gay is not something that you move in and out of like an apartment. He may be bi but if he is gay he will always have an intest in guys. No matter how much he loves you attraction is not something that goes away. He may be telling you the truth as he knows it today, but this is not something like a a favorite color that changes over time. Good luck!
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Name : Chuck, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 38, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Consultant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, HA! wow, that's a recipe for disaster. Please. I know many many many married and divorced gay men. No matter how close they are or were with their wives, they still identify as gay and know that they are living a lie. If you, as a straight woman, are involved w/ a man who may be questioning his sexuality or who may have previously identified as gay, please, take a break from the relationship and move on. you're going to get hurt badly. I promise you.
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Name : Aarne25000, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : atty, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Let me verify what the gay guys have said. No. He can't turn straight any more than I could turn gay.
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Name : Vail24490, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I've seen 'gay' people fall in love with people of the opposite sex, 'straight' people fall in love with members of the same sex, and people 'switch' many times in my life. I think the truth is we're all bisexual -- some more than others. It's not whether this man is gay or straight that matters as much as whether he's monogamous. It's going to take a long time to determine if you two have a relationship that can last. In the mean time don't jump into anything you can't undo! No marriage. No kids.
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Name : Lynne, City : Arlington, State : VA Country : United States, 
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