Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 31 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 22 years, 3 months ago by
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Your question is a good one, and one I have wondered about myself (being a black female).My opinion is mult-faceted. I think white woman may be so attracted to black men b/c of the whole ‘tall dark and handsome’ thing (key word here is dark) that has taken over the stardard of handsomeness (is that a word?) in this society. Also the whole ‘big black penis’ thing may have something to so with it. Also, many white girls like to rebel. How many times have you seen the image of the blonde preppy white chick riding into the sunset on the back of some delinquent’s Harley? Dating a black man is the ultimate slap in her father’s face, and many black guys are seen as ‘delinquent’ or ‘rebels’. As far as the black man goes, I think that their attraction to white woman is twofold. The first is the whole ‘forbidden fruit’ concept. For centuries, white women were strictly forbidden to date, or even look at a black man, and vise versa. As the old saying goes, you always want what you can’t have. Secondly, I believe that our society has alot to do with it. White features are considered the most beautiful, white hair is the loveliest, and white skin is the most desirable. This affects the way many black men view black women. There are not many kinky-haired dark women on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and Playboy and Hustler may feature one black woman per issue. If black men are constantly bombarded with ‘white is right’ images, and seeing that hardly any of their women are put on such pedestals, they are more likely to turn to those woman who they( as well as society) view as the most beautiful. As you can see, this trend of interracial dating does not occur with such frequency when it comes to white men and black women.White men were not forbidden to bed black women …it actually happened quite frequently, but was very hush-hush. White men are not bombarded with images of the beauty of the black woman, and black women are frequently taught to to stay away from white boys, b/c of the whole penile inadequecy myth. I am starting to see the white boy/black girl thing alot more nowadays, probably b/c of the influence of hip-hop on mainstream America; now hip-hop is the ‘cool’ type of music, and among many white males, it is now ‘cool’ to have a black girl.
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Name : AmberW, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 23, City : Greenville, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Fantasy??? maybe for some, but speaking as a white female who is dating a black male, I don’t choose who I fall in love with, I just fall in love!! It is not at all about a fantasy, it’s about meeting a wonderful, caring, beautiful person that I enjoy spending my time with, and quite frankly I’m tired of hearing about why black men date white women or vice versa! Nobody can tell me or anyone else in my situation why WE choose to date someone, so stop trying to! thank you!
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Name : Cheryl, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 23, City : Broad Brook, State : CT, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have no way of explaining my reasons…but I am white and attracted to black men, however I am also attracted to white men. To me a good looking man is a good looking man, no matter what the race.
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Name : Kelly P., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 18, City : Troy, State : MO, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I feel some connection and attraction to black men. I am a white woman and every time an attractive black man walks by, I have to look. I also find being an attractive white woman, more black men look at me than white men. Being with a black man is a fantasy of mine, they are just SO SEXY!
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Name : Karen26759, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Boca Ritan, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : fashion designer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Please GET A LIFE!!
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Name : Sharon-Halstead28091, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : IT Consultant, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I think it is still taboo. I am a Black woman and the same is true for Black women and white men. I have dated several white men and not told even my closest friends for fear of a social stigma. You don’t want to be a ‘white boy liker’ even if you are. Its embarrassing. We are all curious, but don’t admit it out of fear and in my case a sense of self-respect and duty to Black men.
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Name : Ashley M., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 20, City : Charlotte, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I am a young white woman and I find myself much more attracted to black men than to white men. I have been wondering myself for some time why this is… and have come up with a theory. The women’s rights movement seems to have the men here running scared. Most men here are white, and seem so frightened to ever let a woman know they are interested, lest they be branded sexist or have their comments be misunderstood as sexual harrassment. When I get checked out by a white guy, for some reason it feels like a leer, like they think they aren’t supposed to look. It’s so frustrating! But it’s true, men here in Vancouver have been brow beaten for years and years now about respecting that women don’t want the attention… and it’s not altogether true! There are also tons of Asian immigrants here, who I believe come from predominantly traditional families where open displays of sexual interest are frowned upon. Vancouver is now experiencing a huge influx of immigrants from Latin America and I see so many more black people around the city now. When I get checked out by a guy who is not white, (and Asian guys just typically don’t look at all), it feels more like appreciation, like they just appreciate that you are a woman. There’s a different level of sexual confidence about non-whites, or at least non-Canadians. Europeans are the same – they seem to know how to go about flirtation a hell of a lot better than North American white men. I definitely think it’s a confidence thing. At least personally. Hope this helps at all. And I still want to know what it is about white women that black men seem find so exciting.
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Name : Amy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 19, City : Vancouver, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I looked at my girlfriend,now wife, as a person. No fantasy, just a person who genuinely wanted to be with me. As a minority, I can say I that I have dated many races, all of different ages. No one (not race) has treated me like my wife. No fantasies. No gimmicks. Just the real truth.
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Name : Reda Pinkney, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 26, City : Woodbridge, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Production Supervisor, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Brotha, This is a tough one to tackle but I think given what appears to be our lifestyles, black men and white women just seem to be compatable in the beginning. White women seem to be a little more open and easy going and black men seem to crave that at times when the world expects us to be strong and able to endure constant slaps in the face. However, once the drama often attatched to black men starts to surface white women are placed in a position to have to decide to stick around when they dont have to, or go back to what we as black people perceive as a much easier lifestyle. More often than not, what do you think would be chosen, and does that make it a fantasy, and for who?
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Name : Terance, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : Indianapolis, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : Police Officer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,White women are more easier to get and they have lower standards. (Not saying that all white women are easy or have low standards.)Some black men even say that the myth is even true that white women like to give oral sex. Some white women strive for a black man just to say thay have one and to make a black woman jealous. Now I had to a research report on this topic and statistics don’t lie. Now white women feel that they have to prove themselves to the African American culture so they have the mentality of having a goal set to get a black man. Now some white women or some black men just have that physical attraction to one another and just love a person for who they are not their race.
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Name : Ariel-S, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : Jackson, State : TN, Country : United States, Occupation : WMS Administrator, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,Maybe it IS just sexual fantasies; finding the exotic as erotic. (The same also holds true with white men/Asian women couples.) For me, dating women of the same race got boring after a while. I would rather go out with someone of another race now.
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Name : Some Guy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Los Angeles, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Med Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I admit that i first went to bed with a bklck man just to see if there was any thing special about it. Well let me tell you that there is something great about it and I have hade black men again and again and it is the best sex that I have ever had. I dont know just how to explain it but sex with black men is the best sex in the world.
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Name : joella, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Religion : Christian, Age : 58, City : necedah, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : factory worker, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper class,Interracial dating, especially white women & black men, is really common in my city. I’ve perceived a couple different possible reasons. One is that many white girls (especially high school & college age) want to date a black man precisely because it will antagonize their racist parents. Rebellion, ya know? Another dynamic I see often, is the white stripper (usually gorgeous with an aura of slut), gold-digging, superficial type female paired with the stereotypical all-flash no-cash type of black guy; yes that stereotype does exist and it’s alive and well in Minneapolis, with our many very important player-type guys. Hey, what can I say, I guess that couple deserves each other. Last but not least, there are the loving couples who are together for all the right reasons. Yup, they exist, too. God bless ’em!
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Name : Mandy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Irish, German, Norwegian!, Religion : Catholic, Age : 25, City : Minneapolis, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : clerical, student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I believe for the most part that we are ‘programmed’ to be attracted to certain things and people…we all have favorite colors, types of music, tastes in food, clothing, cars, etc. It’s that simple. Personally, I am attracted to tall men (over 5’10’), average built (not body builders or thin men), dark hair & eyes. The personality is more important than the looks, and race is unimportant.
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Name : Mariken, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 51, City : Springfield, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : LPN, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,For the FEW white women who prefer black men, many times it is simply the ‘difference’ that attracts. Of course, there are the shallow young girls/women who are intrigued by the silly myth (yes, it is a myth) that black men are always well-endowed.
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Name : Lady-L26194, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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