[Susan Eckert]

First, I’m surprised no one’s answered your question so far. I hope you get this. Just to give you a little background, I’m from a very mixed background. (Lots of Indians think I’m Indian, Mexicans correctly identify me as Puerto Rican, and I’ve been asked if I’m from so many other countries, I’ve lost count.) But most white people assume I’m 100% black, so I would imagine when they see me with my son (who’s blonde, fair-skinned, and looks as if he’s at least part Irish), they see a black woman with a mixed child. But I read your question and wanted to share two things: 1) I think in part it’s cultural. In many places (particularly the south) I think it’s just how children are disciplined. One of my relatives used to quote the bible in fact, saying ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ Also, many black mothers probably have experienced and know that it’s less socially acceptable for their child to misbehave in public. What I’m saying here is this: If a white child climbs a display and knocks things down, people are likely to say, ‘oh, they’re just being a kid.’ If a black child does that, somehow it’s a different story altogether. Then, it’s ‘Those black kids are so unruly!’ So, perhaps black mothers feel pressured to keep their children in line. That said, I want to inform you that your instincts are right. NOT ALL black people do any one thing. Same here. For example, in my marriage (my husband is blonde blue eyed and has a German, Swiss and Czech background), HE’S the one who swats my son on the behind! I HATE ALL KINDS OF physical discipline and so I even dragged him to a marriage counselor over it. I’ve never once struck my son. I never felt I needed to, and yet, because that stereotype of black women hitting their children is quite popular, I’ve been told more than once by old Irish women who’ve asked if my son’s father is Irish, to make sure I ‘treat him [my son] nicely.’ I know what’s lying beneath their comment, but I always respond with a smile and say, ‘Are you kidding, this kid is treated like the king of our household?’ because I understand where they’re coming from. Hope that helps. Susan

User Detail :  

Name : Susan Eckert, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/Native American/Puerto Rican/Irish, Religion : Bahai Faith, Age : 37, City : Brightwaters, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer / Educator, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Author]

Posts