[Souris]

I Am that I Am; so says the Lord, our God. And if, as scripture says, we are created in His image, then your girlfriend is who she IS. If you love her “in spite of” her weight, you’re not doing either of you any favors. If you’re embarrassed to be seen with her, shame on you. If she’s embarrassed by her weight and worries that she may lose you because of it, be supportive and tell her how you feel about her; that is, if you love her for the laughter and the shared time and thoughts and memories, if you look at her and feel ‘This is home, where I want to be.’ What you do depends on what you mean by making ‘things work out.’ One way or another, you should talk to her. Sensitive matters becomes less sensitive when they’re discussed. Give her a chance to tell you how she feels. A relationship is built on time and trust and a willingness to try to understand.

In my case, I am the overweight partner. I love and am loved by someone kind, stubborn, funny, talented, putzy, annoying, messy, intelligent, silly, generous, caring and occasionally incomprehensible – have been for the last 18 years. We fight, we laugh, we watch the same channel on different TVs in different rooms, we share books, and jokes and sorrow/funerals/weddings/frustrations/accomplishments. We talk, we read at restaurants and we have periods of companionable silence. My fat matters far more to me than it does to my partner. The operative word here is partner. What do you want? To be a partner, or to be someone she spent time with, once upon a time?

User Detail :  

Name : Souris, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : Manahawkin, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Artist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[Souris]

You’ve pointed out one of the basic differences between cat people and dog people: dog people see cats are ‘anti-social’, cat people see them as independent. As a cat person (we’re down to 13), I’ve always felt that dogs gave their loyalty and affection too easily. Scratch his ears, feed him regularly, treat him with kindness and he’s yours. A cat, on the other hand, has to be wooed, repeatedly, probably because each is with the certain knowledge that he is one of God’s superior creations. ‘Stuffed mice, saucers of milk, and select portions of YOUR dinner are all very nice, but what have you done for me lately??’ Cats are very selective about who they love, and their criteria remains a mystery known only to theyselves. BUT, when a cat loves you, it’s whole-heartedly, unconditionally and for life. While cat people tend to be independent and basically unconcerned about how others view them, being adored by a cat is, to my mind, the ultimate accolade. You have been found _worthy_! When a cat brings you a dead mouse, this is tribute of the highest order. Cats are highly social critters (try doing a crossword or reading a newspaper when a cat wants to be social!)which, when in a group, form alliances, follow a determined pecking order, communicate, snuggle, squabble, share, steal from one another, give to one another, love, hate, play, tease, laugh, mourn. Given reasonable circumstances, cats are far more fastidious than their human companions. They are perpetually washing – themselves and you! A dog obeys because it’s in his nature to want to please. A cat learns quickly what is considered appropriate and inappropriate – by you. HE has different standards. When he does obey you, and ocassionally he will, it’s because he CHOOSES to, and for no other reason. But I’ve definitely strayed from the original question. I believe that it is the intrinsic nature of the individual rather than race, gender, religion, preference or even background which determines who becomes a cat person. (I grew up in a house without animals because my mother was very allergic. I thought cats were cats, big deal. Then, in college, I’d go drawing in Brooklyn on Saturday mornings with a teacher/friend and met her cats, each with unique foibles, aptitudes and attitudes. I was convinced that cats are people in little cat suits. I still am.)

User Detail :  

Name : Souris, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 49, City : Manahawkin, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Artist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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