[Sara]

I've been in your situation, and I know how frustrating it can be. You don't say how much time you've spent around her parents, but I would like to suggest that you and your girlfriend find ways to spend time at her house and with her parents. I know the normal tendency would be to avoid them because you feel they don't approve of you, but I think the opposite tactic would work better. You seem to be a nice young man who really cares about their daughter. The more chances they have to see the two of you together, see you getting along, see that you treat her respectfully, etc., the better it will be. Also, sometimes people make judgments about an entire group of people because they don't know any individual members of that group. Then when they get to know a person and find out he's nice, he's interesting, he's fun or whatever, they start to realize that we are all more alike than we are different. Scientifically there is no such thing as a different race because we are all members of the human race. That race thing was made up by people who wanted to create social classes. Remember that we are all God's children, He made all of us, He didn't make any mistakes, and the truth is, if He hadn't wanted us to get together, He would have done something to make that impossible. So her parents are misguided, but perhaps by getting to know you better and realizing that you sincerely care about their daughter and about their feelings, you can be the person who makes a big difference in their lives and releases them from prejudice.

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Name : Sara, Gender : F, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Sara]

I can think of a couple of possibilities. Perhaps the location you chose for the party is in a part of town that's predominantly white or known to be a place where mainly white folks congregate, and your African-American employees were afraid they wouldn't fit in or feel welcome there. Or perhaps it's that working in a diverse workplace, no matter how progressive (and admirable) a concept, can be extra-stressful and exhausting for minorities who feel a pressure to fit in and feel they can't 'be themselves.' Because of this feeling (by the way, most white folks don't know about this), often African-American people choose to spend their time away from work with their own friends and families. If you sincerely want to know the reason, however, why not ask your African-American managers if they know? Or ask them if they will speak to the employees who didn't come and find out the reason. I think if you are genuine in your curiosity, and if you want to have a holiday party next year that will attract a higher percentage of your minority employees, your good intention will come across and can help bridge the possible ethnic misunderstandings that exist. I applaud you for attempting to make a difference in this way; I know it's a path fraught with potholes.

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Name : Sara, Gender : F, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, 

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