[Ethan B]

I am 17 and a black male. I've been dating my girlfriend of a different race for about five months. My family doesn't have a problem with it. But hers do. They believe that if God wanted people to mix, He would have made us all the same. In the beginning it wasn't that bad, but now it's just frustrating. I don't know what to do. I love her and don't want to let her go, but if this keeps up I don't know how long I can take it. What can I do to help out? How can I help change their minds about me? I'm really lost and starting to get scared that I won't be able to handle this and dump her over it. And that's not a good reason for anything.

User Detail :  

Name : Ethan B, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 17, City : Rochester Hills, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ethan B]

I'm i just blind or ignorant? Thanks for all the replies but i don't hate them for not accepting me? i don't know if it's because of that i don't want to believe this or what. but i can't seem to get anger or throw out negative comment. Is this how i could be acting? and deep down in my heart i believe that they'll change. even though my girlfriend doesn't i do. maybe i'm just ignorant.

User Detail :  

Name : Ethan B, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : African Methodist Episcopalian, Age : 17, City : Rochester Hills, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Ethan-Bulluck]

Yes my girlfriend is white. Full-figured no but i love her body and she doesn't have blond hair and she isn't your typical white woman. She doesn't wear dress or belly shirts. Most of the time she goes around in a hoodie and i love her for that. No i didn't grow up around black people. I was born in a black community but moved out very young. I've lived in suburbia life for as long as i can remember. i have only one close black friend and the rest are white or other races. Not in all enviroments but in mine i find blacks women have better bodies. But white women have better attitudes, i don't like i could take any black women that i know home to meet my mom. I hope this can there some things up. I didn't just fall in love with her body, I also fell in love with her.

User Detail :  

Name : Ethan-Bulluck, City : Rochester Hills, State : MI Country : United States, 

[Chris32194]

First off, you should just be yourself, and nothing else. If this girl you're seeing makes you happy, don't change a thing. Of course some people are already set in their ways of thinking, and trying to change that is impossible. It goes back to the saying of 'trying to teach an old dog new tricks'. I know you are concerned about what her folks think because you want to make a good impression on them, it's only natural. But if they have this preconceieved notion that you are a troublemaker, then proving them wrong is out of the question. Don't bend over backwards for anyone, if they feel that they aren't comfortable with you going out with their daughter, then that's their problem, not yours. I do agree with you that you should not dump your girlfriend because that doesn't solve the problem of her folks not liking you. If you do dump her, that means that the pressure from her folks is working, which means you lose out. Continue to be strong, stand your ground, and you will prosper in the end.

User Detail :  

Name : Chris32194, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 24, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Retail Sales Associate, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Mike20411]

Let me guess: your girlfriend is white, possibly full-figured and probably blond with straight hair. No coincidence. This is the type of woman most black men choose. And let me guess another thing: you grew up around a lot of black people and have a lot of black friends, but your girlfriend 'just happens' to be white. Tell me something: do you find Caucasian (white) features more attractive than black features? Just curious. Of course this could be a rare case of true love, but I find this other dynamic in many, if not most, black/white relationships I've come across.

User Detail :  

Name : Mike20411, Gender : M, City : Detroit, State : MI Country : United States, 

[Sara]

I've been in your situation, and I know how frustrating it can be. You don't say how much time you've spent around her parents, but I would like to suggest that you and your girlfriend find ways to spend time at her house and with her parents. I know the normal tendency would be to avoid them because you feel they don't approve of you, but I think the opposite tactic would work better. You seem to be a nice young man who really cares about their daughter. The more chances they have to see the two of you together, see you getting along, see that you treat her respectfully, etc., the better it will be. Also, sometimes people make judgments about an entire group of people because they don't know any individual members of that group. Then when they get to know a person and find out he's nice, he's interesting, he's fun or whatever, they start to realize that we are all more alike than we are different. Scientifically there is no such thing as a different race because we are all members of the human race. That race thing was made up by people who wanted to create social classes. Remember that we are all God's children, He made all of us, He didn't make any mistakes, and the truth is, if He hadn't wanted us to get together, He would have done something to make that impossible. So her parents are misguided, but perhaps by getting to know you better and realizing that you sincerely care about their daughter and about their feelings, you can be the person who makes a big difference in their lives and releases them from prejudice.

User Detail :  

Name : Sara, Gender : F, City : Oakland, State : CA Country : United States, 

[Samm-B29438]

The first thing that you could do to help anyone change their minds is to present yourself in a respectful manner. I read your post and you reminded me of my nephew until I saw your email address, which looks like it reads: 'Playa Pimp.' I don't care what color my daughter's boyfriend may be, if he's advertising himself as a pimp, I don't want him anywhere near. You seem like a sincere young man, and ultimately it will be up to her to deal with her parents if she feels the same. Hopefully, you are good to her and her parents will see that and come around.

User Detail :  

Name : Samm-B29438, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 37, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Marciea]

I feel like this. My uncle goes with a white woman who's family acts the same way, and it hurts him. They have been together for 8 years. but they also have a lot of problems. For one she calls him a nigger everytime they get into an argument, then she tries to justify it to me. I don't date outside of my race because of those problems. I really think that you should dump her and get with a black woman myself. But if you love her and you feel you can handle it, go for it.

User Detail :  

Name : Marciea, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : Goldsboro, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[William]

You sure hit that nail on the head.Most white girls who date black men are over weight and under educated.Makes you wonder,huh? Its sad really that her self esteem is so low that all she has to offer is white skin.That seems to make even the most unattractive white women desirable to a playa pimp.She'll always be the white girl.

User Detail :  

Name : William, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 39, City : Columbia, State : SC Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Valerie]

Coming from a white female, how can you say such horrible things? Just because you may have come along other males who are black and have based their attractions on a white females measurements, does not mean every black man shares those same interest. Besides, I have yet to meet 'any' man who isn't attracted to a woman because of her curves. Open your eyes and your heart to the world or the sarcastic views you express are gonna cause you a lot of grief.

User Detail :  

Name : Valerie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 23, City : Seabrook, State : SC Country : United States, Occupation : house wife, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tiffany-Hill]

I am wondering if you are Black/African American or White/Caucasian. I thought I was the only person who thought maybe so many Black/African American men and even women (but especially men) date white women and women of other races because they are 'in love with white features'. In our society white is considered right, white is considered better and white is considered beautiful, so it's no wonder so many Black/African American males long and lust for white women and women of other races. I think you made a very good point when you questioned 'do you find Caucasian features more attractive than Black features'. I think thats what stimulating so many Black men to white women. Just look at the Black race, most Black men seek light skinned Black womem or mixed Black women such as Halle Berry, Alicia Keys or Vanessa Williams. These women are Black but they have a lot of white feautures, light skin or light brown skin, long hair, pointed nose, etc. Just ask yourself if you are a Black man or ask other Black men who they find more attractive Alicia Keys or India Arie, Whitney Houston or Vanessa Williams, Halle Berry or Janet Jackson. The lighter Black women with more White features (Halle, Alicia and Vanessa) will get more votes. True, there may be some Black men who really do love their white women, but I think deep down inside most Black men are in love with the white features. After all, every many wants a beautiful woman, every man wants a woman that other men desire and white women are considered beatiful and desireable. In regards to the person who you responded to in March/2002 I wonder how can he possibly be in love with someone at the age of 17 and has only known her for 5 months. He, like many other Black men seems excited to have a trophy (his white girlfriend with beautiful white features) to show off. Black men say they don't want to be with Black women because of their attitudes and money hungry ways. Let's be real, Black women are not appealing to most men, and now even Black men.

User Detail :  

Name : Tiffany-Hill, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 23, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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