Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences 
Forum Replies Created
- Posts
First you have to ask yourself your preference in anal intercourse: for most men, I think, this is the pre-eminent meaning of the words. But this is vague and limiting. Sometimes a ‘bottom’ can be on top in certain sex acts. And what about oral sex? Who’s the top and bottom? My definition is that whoever gets penetrated is the ‘bottom’ and whoever does the pitching is the ‘top,’ no matter the physical positions. But at 20 years old, I suspect you don’t have a lot of experience to deal with, and I hope you’re not feeling pressured to label yourself one or the other. Lots of gay men I know are ‘versitile,’ meaning they can function pretty happily in either roll. (Most of the men I’m acquainted with, like me, are basically bottoms who can top for the right guy.) So some men are able to enjoy both. I recently read a book by a gay author who intimated that he didn’t like oral or anal sex. I presume he’s more interested in hugging, kissing, holding, mutual masturbation, frottage, maybe. I guess he would be neither top nor bottom. I think you can certainly be a healthy gay man and not particularly want to engage in penetrative activities. If you’re feeling confused about this issue, maybe this is the kind of gay man you are right now. I have also seen many gay men change from exclusively top to exclusively bottom and vice versa. I know many gay men who were bottoms when young and then became more amenable to being on top as they got older.
User Detail :
Name : Jon Milleer-Carrasco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Society of Friends, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Hey, Matt. For some gay guys it might really be affected, but in my 20 yrs of being out and about, I’ve known many who had NO IDEA how feminine they sounded. Not only is it intrinsic and natural to them, they think they sound like Dan Rather on the evening news. My theory, and as far as I know it is uniquely mine, is that there are more transexuals in the world than we know of, ones who never get the operation, but who deep inside their hearts, think of themselves as the opposite sex. Almost all of the men I know who are at least somewhat ‘effeminate’ (let’s keep in mind what arbitrary connations that word carries), wanted to be girls at some point in their lives. These I would say are more transexual than strictly gay; they’re basically women trapped in men’s bodies, even though they might not realize it. The middle-of-the-road masculine guys I’ve talked with can never remember wanting to be girls; people generally don’t know they’re gay until they say so(or kiss in front of them). I freely admit my test sample is small and personal and limited; these are only my observations. And my final question to you would be: Why does a feminine-sounding man bother you? Could it be that it insults your sensibilities to see a man ‘lower’ himself to womanliness? Misogyny and homophobia are 2 branches of the same river of bigotry.
User Detail :
Name : Jon Milleer-Carrasco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Society of Friends, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Judy: This drives me crazy too. But I know lots and lots of gay men and most of they are NOT misogynists. The majority of gay men have good, healthy relationships with women. In fact, some of my friendships with both gay and non-gay women are the healthiest in my life because of the lack of sexual tension. The problem is, a few bigots are as usual the loudest and out of sheer obnoxiousness they seem like a majority even if they’re not.
User Detail :
Name : Jon Milleer-Carrasco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Society of Friends, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Lisa: My suspicion is that your friend who made this comment was parroting some locker-room philosopher or some barely literate TV evangelist. There is no doubt in my mind that I was born gay; either that or I was a totally asexual baby until an attraction to men, even before that feeling was sexualized, settled in. The only reason to ask such a question (outside of acedemic research) is to set up some kind of ‘normal/abnormal’ paradigm that is just devisive and silly. There’s a contingent who really, really needs to believe that gay men were born heterosexual and somehow ‘choose’ or are ‘warped’ into homosexuality. That way, they can keep gay people in a seperate, ‘warped,’ devient category and therefore feel superior to them. It’s sad, really.
User Detail :
Name : Jon Milleer-Carrasco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Society of Friends, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
