[Gary21770]

How does a gay man know if he is a 'top' or a 'bottom'?

User Detail :  

Name : Gary21770, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bi-curious, Age : 20, City : Thomasville, State : GA Country : United States, 

[CJ]

If you can be dominated and you like it then you are bottom.If you tend to dominate people and you like it then you are Top. Some people like both ways and they are called a switch.

User Detail :  

Name : CJ, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 38, City : Fayetteville, State : NC Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Josh]

It seems you have a few misconceptions. First, a lot of gay men don't identify as "top" or "bottom." Those that do identify these ways do so for many reasons. Here's a few: Because they have tried both and enjoyed one more. Because one role feels more "appropriate" or right for them.

For each man it's different, and many men redefine themselves many times in their lives. The important thing here is to not feel confined by a label, and to do what you feel comfortable doing!

User Detail :  

Name : Josh, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 22, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : Queer Activist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Jon Milleer-Carrasco]

First you have to ask yourself your preference in anal intercourse: for most men, I think, this is the pre-eminent meaning of the words. But this is vague and limiting. Sometimes a 'bottom' can be on top in certain sex acts. And what about oral sex? Who's the top and bottom? My definition is that whoever gets penetrated is the 'bottom' and whoever does the pitching is the 'top,' no matter the physical positions. But at 20 years old, I suspect you don't have a lot of experience to deal with, and I hope you're not feeling pressured to label yourself one or the other. Lots of gay men I know are 'versitile,' meaning they can function pretty happily in either roll. (Most of the men I'm acquainted with, like me, are basically bottoms who can top for the right guy.) So some men are able to enjoy both. I recently read a book by a gay author who intimated that he didn't like oral or anal sex. I presume he's more interested in hugging, kissing, holding, mutual masturbation, frottage, maybe. I guess he would be neither top nor bottom. I think you can certainly be a healthy gay man and not particularly want to engage in penetrative activities. If you're feeling confused about this issue, maybe this is the kind of gay man you are right now. I have also seen many gay men change from exclusively top to exclusively bottom and vice versa. I know many gay men who were bottoms when young and then became more amenable to being on top as they got older.

User Detail :  

Name : Jon Milleer-Carrasco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Society of Friends, Age : 38, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Ben S.]

Some gay men identify with a sexual persona that is always a top or bottom. This is common in subcultures like leather or S&M, but is now less common among gay men generally. With most of gay men I know, it just depends what we feel like doing. Even if a guy acts in ways that might convince you he's a top or bottom, you shouldn't be surprised if that turns out not to be accurate. After all, if you've got a ticket to the fun park, why limit yourself to just one type of ride ?

User Detail :  

Name : Ben S., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 31, City : sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Public servant, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[onanov]

I don't know how one determines if one is 'top' or 'bottom,' but my experience as a homosexual would indicate that many if not most gay men identify either way. The running joke in Atlanta is that it's a city full of bottoms and no tops. I've heard this said about practically every city I've ever visited.

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Name : onanov, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 43, City : Iowa City, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : Graphic Designer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Andy]

'Top' and 'bottom' can have at least two different sorts of meanings. The straightforward one has to do with whether a gay guy likes to be an insertive or a receptive partner in anal sex. So, a lot of smart gay guys would be neither; they would be both. It would depend on the day, the partner and the alignment of the stars. And, remember, just being gay does not necessarily mean liking anal sex. I know a gay man who says anal sex is far better in concept than execution (I disagree, but I respect his point of view). Now, the other thing is that the roles get tied up with perceptions of gender. At different times and places, you aren't 'really' gay if nobody sticks their penis into any part of your body. Weird. The big thing is to be open to learning about what YOU like, and with whom. Enjoying anal sex can take a bit of learning, and a lot of trust and patience (and always, always, always) a condom.

User Detail :  

Name : Andy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 37, City : Toronto, Ontario, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : research scientist, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[SteveP]

I guess I don't quite fit either category. I've never been interested in anal sex, neither giving or receiving. I strictly enjoy oral sex, and jerking and feeling another guy up. However I'd rather suck than be sucked. Some would say that makes me a bottom. But, on the flip side, I don't like anyone talking nasty and demanding to me. I don't like to be forced to do anything, or be treated ruff. I'd rather get horny and rip your clothes off and go down on you, than have you strip yourself. I like tickling a guy out of his clothes, while he loses control, but don't like getting tickled myself. So I like to be in charge, but yet I want to do the sucking. I like college jocks but not girlish twinks.

User Detail :  

Name : SteveP, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Disability : None, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, City : Long Island, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

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