[Annette]

Just wanted to let you know you’re not unique. I have always been turned on by viewing two men (I used to ‘borrow’ my gay male friends’ ‘Blueboy’ magazine and spend a good hour with myself and the magazine). I also used to enjoy going to high school and college wrestling championships. It seemed somewhat sexual to watch two guys rolling around on the ground on top of each other. I think I would very much enjoy watching gay men have intercourse; it seems very erotic. I bet there are many other straight women who feel the same, but do not openly express it. Our society is homophobic, especially when it comes to gay males (they’re relinquishing their power over females, especially physical and sexual power. These are bottom-line, ultimate expressions of power that control women). Thus, a culture in which sexual acts between gay men are eroticized would be very threatening. That is why we females know, without anyone telling us, that we are not supposed to openly admit to getting turned on by two men. However, I can’t deny the truth, and I’m glad you didn’t. I hope other women who find men sexually interacting to be erotic will respond.

User Detail :  

Name : Annette, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Boise, State : ID, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Annette]

I lived in Japan for two years and recently traveled (October 2000) to Japan and saw many junior and high school girls taking part in ‘Compo-Dato’ (compensated dating). Thus, a 12- or 13-year-old girl arranges a date with a sariman (salary man) through the dating service available through her cell phone company. She makes about $2,000 for her first time, and about $500 each time thereafter. Nikes and Gucci bags, along with four-inch platform boots, are very expensive in Japan.

The Roricon (Lolita complex) has been alive and well in Japanese culture for a long time. Many TV movies and magazine features aimed at teen girls and guys, as well as adults, featured rape of a young female teen as an approved highlight of the movie or article. This was in the early ’90s – those values seemed alive and well, only later exploited to have the male fantasy realized, in the mid- to late-’90s. (Japanese men and some Americans have been going on child or teen sex tours in Thailand for a long time. I saw it firsthand in Bangkok and Patpao.)

I believe the exploding sex industry in Japan has to do with youth rebellion and a sexist culture with values both different and similar to Western values. At the prison where I work in the United States, about 50 percent are locked up for sex crimes that are openly accepted in Japan. (For example: Bukake – group masturbation on a schoolgirl’s face! She doesn’t even have to take off her uniform!) They do not consider it a crime, or they choose to look the other way when it occurs. This is partially due to a group-oriented culture that avoids conflict at all cost and wants to save face. Calling attention to a female who has been victimized (these girls don’t think of themselves as victims, but I wonder what sexual activity with older strangers will do to their psyche later on) or to the salaryman who made the arrangement will bring shame and attention to their whole family.

There is no simple analysis of Japan’s sex scene; I’m only offering my observances from living there. I hope this wonderful country (and it is beautiful, with good people – this includes the sexist salarymen) will find her own answers that stop abuse of young females. I’d appreciate a response from a bicultural Japanese and American person who has lived extensively in both countries.

User Detail :  

Name : Annette, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Boise, State : ID, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Annette]

Nate, you made a supposition that black people are more racist, because the title ‘Why do Black people smell like Wet Dogs when they come out of the Rain?’ would draw more criticism and claims of racism than ‘Why do White people smell like Wet Dogs . . ‘ On the surface, your argument seems plausible. However, the reason it is not generally acceptable to make racist jokes, titles, etc. against blacks while it is no problem to satirize whites lies in the power imbalances and history between whites and blacks. Currently, whites (males) hold more social, economic and political power overall than do black people. Blacks are still subject to violence (police brutality, for example) and discrimination (higher arrest records, greater problems attaining credit, etc.) at much higher rates than whites. When someone pokes fun at whites, it is accepted because it is like an arrow glancing off a suit of armor: There is no danger, and no power to lose. White males are well-established in power, currently and historically. Black equality, on the other hand, is new and tenuous. There is still not equal amounts of social, political and economic power overall between blacks and whites. If a black person is slandered, even in humor, there is much more to lose, as their power is precarious. Victories and gains in education, economics, etc., are only recent and are not widespread among African Americans. (This is a generalization, as many successful black Americans can be seen. However, they are still the exception, not the rule.) Therefore, it is not socially acceptable (nor should it be) to mock and disparage black Americans.

User Detail :  

Name : Annette, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Boise, State : ID, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Annette]

I work at a prison and see many female visitors coming in to visit inmates. During this past year, I’ve seen five different female staff members forced to resign because of involvement (ranging from notes to sex) with inmates. Of course, there is a high social stigma associated with having been a prisoner. Most men would prefer to put this in the past and not let others know about their history. Personally, I appreciate honesty in men, including owning up to responsibility for past mistakes. I dated an ex-con without knowing it. He was very successful in commercial real estate; I would never had guessed. He told me a few months after we began dating, and so I knew him for who he was. It didn’t change my opinion of him in the least. He had been in on a residential burglary with a friend when he had been addicted to cocaine. However, had he told me he had been arrested for rape, domestic violence, lewd and lacivious behavior or sexual crimes, I would have steered clear of this man. (As a result of working at the prison and sitting in on male sex offender groups, I’ve come to see that unfortunately, most sex offenders – not all – are just like any other male with problems. Some guys drink, others take power and find solace in ways that hurt others. Inmates are only exaggerations of social problems that exist on the outside. Ultimately, my advice is to be honest about your history at an appropriate time. Don’t procrastinate too long; this would be a form of dishonesty. Just find the right time. Depending on your crime, most women would accept you if they still see you as a good person inside. Don’t carry shame or hide too much from those close to you; this only causes isolation and a potential repeat of anti-social behavior.

User Detail :  

Name : Annette, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 41, City : Boise, State : ID, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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