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Alma31460ParticipantFrom my experience, what you’re talking about has to do with the other person being uncomfortable about the subject and trying to be polite. I’m a 50-year-old completely out lesbian who works on the largest military installation in the United States. For about 10 years after I came out, (and I mean tore the door off the closet) I got this response. For a while, I tended to be a little defensive, until I figured out that a whole lot of people simply did not know how to respond to my casually mentioning my spouse, or describing our lives, and this was their way of saying, ‘uh,um, really I don’t know what to say.’ As I spent more time working with these folks on a day-to-day basis, they figured out that it was OK to integrate me into their daily work relationships; including conversations where we agreed to disagree. Now, mind you, you will always have the knothead that wants you to feel like a leper. But, I’ve found that; for the most part, when I practice the golden rule, my coworkers get their hackles up when someone tries to harrass me about my sexual orientation. And, guess what, most of my coworkers are soldiers. Both my partner of 20 years and I have the reputation of being ‘mother hens’ in our workplaces. It has taken time, but most people we know look at us as just another diverse part of the work force. Will we ever be free of harrassment? I doubt it. But I’ve been working with soldiers for 20 years and wouldn’t dream of doing anything else; especially at this moment. You may not realize it, but, in some manner, whenever you mention your spouse to someone for the first time, you are ‘coming out’ again. And coming out is like biting into aluminum foil; it leaves a lasting impression. You are actually a teacher for a sensitve and uncomfortable subject for many. For the most part (except for the knotheads) treating people as you would like to be treated will go a long way toward those around you learning and practicing tolerance. Kudos to you for being up front and direct; it takes courage.
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Name : Alma31460, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 50, City : Kempner, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : government contract worker, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,- AuthorPosts