[Sion]

For a long time I have been guilty of practicing my own form of discrimination within my own race. It stems from being taunted as a child for having dark skin. Because of this, I grew up with a secret resentment for fair-skinned women. While I have family and friends who are fair, I have accepted and loved them, but find myself prejudging others I see in malls or in public who I don't know. I honestly felt that 'yellow' women had the "YWC" - Yellow Woman's Complex. The 'I can take your man,' 'I am better than you because I am light,' the 'watch me get over,' 'I am pretty because I am light' ... and the list goes on. I know those contentions aren't true, but truthfully, is there anyone out there who has or did feel this way? Is there a light-skinned woman who can share their mentality with me? Is it hard being fair-skinned, or do you find that it has its privileges?

User Detail :  

Name : Sion, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, 

[Jasmine]

I am a fair-skinned woman, but I definately do not have a 'I am better than you' attitude. However, I do have attitude that can care less of what other people think of me, and that is proud of my accomplishments as a young black woman. Both of which contributes to a higher self esteem. I walk with my head held high not because I feel that I am better than anyone, but because I love myself and I take pride in myself. If you feel that you are not attractive because of your complexion, those feelings will start to reflect on your personality. I also believe that other people's attitude and actions toward a person can help to contribute to the way a person may feel about themself, which is what you said happened to you as a child. But it can go both ways. If all of your life men would tell you how beautiful you were all of the time, that would also contribute to the way that you feel about yourself. And I'll admit, that type of thing makes me feel good about myself, and when you feel good about yourself, again, it shows on the outside. Also whhhhoo wee! Plenty of fair-skinned women are not attractive at all, so light skin definately does not automatically make you attractive. All of us were taunted as a child about something. That's just the way children are. But, you shouldn't allow the ignorance that went on in your life as a child affect the way that you feel about the women in our race, because that is all it is.... IGNORANCE!!!.

User Detail :  

Name : Jasmine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, 

[Jasmine]

I am a fair-skinned woman but do not have an 'I am better than you' attitude. However, I couldn't care less what other people think of me and am proud of my accomplishments as a young black woman. This contributes to a higher self-esteem. I walk with my head high not because I feel I am better than anyone, but because I love myself and take pride in myself. If you feel you are not attractive because of your complexion, those feelings will start to reflect on your personality. I also believe that other people's attitudes and actions toward a person can help contribute to the way a person may feel about themselves, which is what you said happened to you as a child. But it can go both ways. If all of your life men told you how beautiful you were, that would also contribute to the way you feel about yourself. And I'll admit, that type of thing makes me feel good about myself, and when you feel good about yourself, again, it shows on the outside. Also whhhhoo wee! Plenty of fair-skinned women are not attractive at all, so light skin definitely does not automatically make you attractive. All of us were taunted as a child about something. That's just the way children are. But you shouldn't allow the ignorance that went on around you in your life as a child affect the way you feel about the women of our race, because that is all it is: ignorance.

User Detail :  

Name : Jasmine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, 

[Valerie]

I can understand where you're coming from. It's clear to me that our society as a whole places more value on lighter/whiter skin. It seems like this myth of lighter being better is reinforced at all levels and in all aspects of our society. And trust me, that is one hell of a myth, one that's been dividing people for generations. So, I can't fault you for your feelings. As a lighter-skinned woman (and I speak only for myself), I think the thing I would want you to understand about me is that that myth hurts me just as much as you. It pits us against each other and builds resentments that we really don't need to have added onto our already complicated lives. Growing up wasn't easy for me, either. My family was one of the only families of color where I grew up. And while the racism I felt from the white people in my town hurt me in so many ways, the colorism I felt from my own people nearly tore me apart. It felt like I was too black to be accepted into white society, and too white to be completely accepted by all of black society. And as a child I wasn't sure where that left me. It took a while for me to reach a place where I learned to accept myself for who I am and love me for me. And I think now that I've grown, I can understand how resentments like those can build up. It's an understanding that goes a long way in giving me the fuel I need to continually work to break down the barriers we create among one another.

User Detail :  

Name : Valerie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Boston, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : Fundraising/Development, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[A. Adams]

I thought I had heard them all, but Yellow Woman's Complex is a new one to me. I have to say that growing up, I never thought of myself as 'high yella.' Everybody in my family runs the gamut. I figured everybody who had hair like mine was the same. But that being said, I probably would pass the 'paper bag' test, as they say. I've felt this resentment that you're describing, but didn't realize the source until much later in life. My family certainly was not of the means to 'get over' on anyone or anything, especially considering we were usually the only black kids wherever we moved. As far as privileges are concerned, looking back, we probably weren't considered as 'threatening' to non-blacks, as some of us are perceived. As for the black community, we were mostly dissed for not living on the 'black' side of town or for being too religious, rather than having so-called 'lighter' skin. I believe Africans come in all shades on the Continent, but their differences stem from cultural/tribal/familial distinctions. Unfortunately, the light vs. dark 'problem' seems to be a direct result of slavery in the Americas.

User Detail :  

Name : A. Adams, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[JJ30548]

I'm very light skinned but have been treated basically equally by others. Maybe it's the environment I've grown up in. However, my younger sister is dark, having the skin tone of an Hispanic (in the summer - but she is darker than your 'typical' white person.) She has white features but darker skin. She has been treated equally, too, in her environment, as far as I know. I've heard dark-skinned women feeling jealous over lighter-skinned women. I think there are people of all races who are beautiful, not just 'pale' whites. By the way, my sister and I are 'full-blood' related, in case you were wondering. The only reason I can think of as to why we look so different is that we inherited the opposite traits from our parents. She's as tall and thin as a wire, whereas I'm curvacious and short. To me, she's the 'modern' definition of beauty, whereas I'm a 'vintage' one. I have most of the characteristics of a 'beautiful' woman in the 1800s, and at times I worry that men think I'm 'easy' due to my, um, endowments. I, however, don't lead a lifestyle one would typically consider someone easy. Maybe it's just me.

User Detail :  

Name : JJ30548, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Dallas/Fort Worth area, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 

[JAMARA]

I'm light skinned, and when I was young, it was not so great. My light mother referred to me as a light skin heffa. I am offended when these music videos show nothing but light-skinned women with long hair, even though that's what I am. My friends laugh when they find out I am offended at this. But damn, I'm a black woman, and I know these videos are equating white-looking black women with white beauty. And that p***ses me off. I accept no privileges for light skin. When white folks try to act like that's where they are coming from, I check them. It's not right.

User Detail :  

Name : JAMARA, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : hampton, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : exec asst, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Selena28026]

I believe that it is just hard being any shade of black. I noticed that many African women or dark-complected women give me looks like they are better than me. I believe they have some type of "I'm better than you because I am dark" attitude.

User Detail :  

Name : Selena28026, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 23, City : Columbia, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : college student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Tahlia Wilson]

I'm light skinned half black and white , and I'm not gonna lie I am afraid and I would hate to be dark - skinned, because to me it is unattractive, and Im not saying dark skinned people are ugly cause I don't believe that. I think there are very pretty black women. Alot of black women don't care for me , I dont do anything to them though, I think I pose a threat because they want our look, that they see on tv and rap videos etc. I think women should love themselves and black women should realize that black men want light skinned women solely because we are sexy and that is what they see portrayed on television. I do think being light -skinned is definitely an advantage when it comes to men.

User Detail :  

Name : Tahlia Wilson, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black and white, Religion : Baptist, Age : 21, City : Lansing, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : nurse, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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