Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 17 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 1 month ago by
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I am from an upper middle-class community, where the majority of homes are valued at $150,000 or more, and most people have two or more cars and two- to four-stall garages. I am 19 and work full-time as a chef at Vincent’s Vineyard in Fairmont, W.V. I have always looked up to wealthy people, because one day I hope to be in their position, but I find a lot of other people dislike or treat affluent people very rudely, and I would like to know why that is.
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Name : Lawrence C. III, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 19, City : Fairmont, State : WV, Country : United States, Occupation : Chef, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,There are usually two reasons people act rudely toward the wealthy. The first is envy. Some people are jealous that other people accomplished something they did not. The second reason, related to the first, is the impression that the wealthy can only get that way through some illegal activity. I am not sure that the people in those homes can really be called wealthy, though. It depends on the area. In my area, that is a farily low price for a small home, and two cars are needed for a two-income family when you need to commute to your jobs. My wife and I both work, and we are still unable to get a house at that price. Then again, in West Virginia, I imagine that things are a bit different, and that might be even more out of reach.
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Name : John K., Gender : M, Age : 27, City : Cranford, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Chemical Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m from a funny background– wherein a coalminer’s son marries a woman from a moneyed, socialite family. Whammo, no money meets big money. So I grew up with friends/relatives in house trailers, and friends/relatives who regularly travel the world and have a house-staff at Christmas. From what I’ve seen, it seems that the ‘have nots’ assume the ‘haves’ don’t deserve their wealth, that surely THEY should have it instead, or it’s somehow lesser if they inherited the money, rather than earning it. Give me a break, honestly. Guess what, life ain’t fair and it’s not about to be equal. Lawrence, there’s no shame in desiring monetary success. Because I’ve busted my ass working, and been very fortunate, I can afford my cell phone, my SUV, my horse, and all the myriad other things I wanted to get and did. I wasn’t happy making far less than I do now, so I don’t. My Dad told me when I was growing up, that I could have anything I wanted. Study hard, work hard, save your money, and buy whatever you want. He’s got a point, don’t you think
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Name : Kat26788, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 29, City : Birmingham, State : AL, Country : United States, Occupation : webmaster/training developer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,My boyfriend, upon seeing my parents’ neighborhood for the first time (which is a couple of notches below upper middle class), made a few biting remarks. I was surprised because he’s normally very open-minded. He comes from a very poor neighborhood and characterized upper middle class neighborhoods as places where nothing goes wrong and everything anyone wants gets handed to them on a silver platter. I told him that in my experience, this wasn’t true. I think he just felt envious and a little bitter about not being as financially privileged. However, we are both annoyed by many of the ostentatious staples of the upper middle class (the SUV/cell phone combo) and think that their leming-like conspicuous consumerism is pretty gimpy.
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Name : SR28440, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 21, City : Austin, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : student,1) Because many wealthy people got that way either through luck (wealthy parents) or on the backs of lower-class and/or immigrant workers. 2) Because many wealthy people don’t appreciate what they have, and think poor people are just that way because they are lazy or ‘no common sense’ (see recent Best of the week archives). 3) Because many wealthy people develop a sense of entitlement – that they deserve more respect than others. Of course this is not true for everyone. There are plenty of people who are wealthy through their own hard work, talent or genius. Some, however, are just ruthless. Some are simply lucky. I admire your ambition and hope you achieve your goals. Just don’t assume all wealthy people got that way through hard work!
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Name : CB32457, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,I have to first wonder why you would ‘look up’ to wealthy people. Most didn’t earn their wealth, they inherited it. There are far more Steve Forbes out there than Horatio Alger types. It seems like you are more admiring of materialism than anything else, and that hardly seems like a healthy attitude. But you don’t say who it is you see as resentful of the well-off. If it is people from slightly affluent backgrounds like yourself, it might be simply a feeling of competition. But if it is poorer people you see as resentful, there are four justifiable reasons for that hostility:
1) Unequal treatment in America based on wealth. How many wealthy people who commit crimes wind up NOT being punished for them? Just ask O.J. 2) The open class hostility directed toward poorer people by the well-off. Just look at any debate over welfare or the demonizing of inner-city youth by the news media. 3) Religious beliefs that are opposed to accumulation of wealth. Think of Jesus saying ‘It is easier to get a camel throught the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to go to heaven.’ These religious truths, plus those of other groups like Buddhists and American Indians, hold that wealth does not equal virtue, no matter how much we are propagandized to the contrary. 4) The far greater power that the wealthy have in this system. Democracy should be one person=one vote. Instead it’s more like one dollar=one vote. How many poorer people have the power to influence the political process like Forbes, Perot, Trump or the many wealthy people who play a behind-the-scenes role? The one reason I don’t think anyone can honestly say is a reason is the one cited by many conservatives, envy. That is a deliberate misunderstanding of the genuine issues that poorer people face, almost a libel and a smear.
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Name : ACC24014, City : W Lafayette, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : Grad student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,This conflict goes back to Mesopotamia. Robin Hood, Bolsheviks, unions, St. James, you name ’em. Basically, the root of it is that the poor and working class lead hard lives, and they have to scratch and claw for what little they have. And then they see the rich, who have all sorts of material possesions, prestige, power, etc., and who seem to live on easy street. And there’s also the stereotype of rich folks being snobbish, greedy, and so forth. So it’s only natural for there to be resentment. Like I said, this goes back to the days of the cavemen, when Ugg was better at hunting and got more acclaim than the other guys.
I would suggest that you view the poor and working class with some reverence. Without them, the clothes you wear wouldn’t have been sown, the car you drive wouldn’t have been assembled, the house you live in wouldn’t have been built and the food you eat wouldn’t have been collected from the earth.
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Name : Dan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : na, Race : Chicano, Religion : Pentecostal Christian, Age : 21, City : Los Angeles area, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Lower middle class,Simple class envy is the problem here. The ‘have-nots’ want what the ‘haves’ have. They don’t want to proclaim their desire to be a ‘have’ because they think they will never achieve that, so they instead assume a posture of superiority over the ‘haves,’ proclaiming that the ‘haves’ obtained their wealth only through dishonest, immoral or un-American ways, or heaven forbid, through inheritance. ‘Have-nots’ discount the work ethic of the ‘haves’ and think that a family estate or family business is not fair to those less fortunate. Keep your dreams and vision – I have been both poor and rich, and believe me, rich is much better!
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Name : Katie26704, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 39, City : Newport Beach, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : business owner, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,It is simply a matter of jealousy. Most people are not as honest as you are, Lawrence. You admit that you want to be affluent. Other people do also, but won’t admit it. Keep working hard and striving to achieve. There is no dishonor in success!
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Name : Kathy26661, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 46, City : Springfield, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,In her reply Kathy equates wealth with success. As far as I’m concerned there are many more types of success in life that just wealth. I’ve had many failures and many successes in life, like most, but few of my successes are related to obtaining wealth. When I get the feeling that those with wealth look down at me because I’m not conspicuously wealthy I feel resentful. I’m sure many wealthy people have worked hard for what they have. But many people work very hard at very vital jobs without getting much financial return, such as nurses, police, teachers, etc, etc, etc. Such people successfully completed their education, successfully continue to work at difficult and dangerous jobs, and successfully contribute enourmously to the wellbeing of society. But they’re not wealthy, and they can’t buy their way out of trouble, or buy their way into positions they don’t deserve, or buy more influence over our society than they deserve. Perhaps it’s not success that our society admires, it’s power.
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Name : Jenny30909, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 34, City : Wellington, State : NA, Country : New Zealand, Occupation : Librarian, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,I agreed with most of what you said, but I am curious why you take such a negative stance on people with an SUV and/or cell phones. Sometimes it is simply a matter of practicality. My wife and I lease a Subaru Forester, a small SUV. Note that leasing is much, much cheaper than buying. Why do we do this? Because my car (which I own) is small, and we wanted something safer for when our daughter was born. Since we both hate minivans, we went with an SUV. Now, the second part of your statement, about cell phones. In general, yes, the people who use them constantly at the expense of others on the road are out of line. But we have a cell phone because I work in NYC and my wife works closer to home. If there is an emergency during my commute, she has a way of contacting me. Again, simple practicality.
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Name : John K., Gender : M, Age : 27, City : Cranford, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : Chemical Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I hardly call anyone from the upper middle class ‘rich.’ First, I don’t understand the nerve of some people to call themselves upper middle class. What does that mean, anyway? How do you know you’re not just middle class? I think the distinction is just a snobby way to be exclusive. Come to New York City for one minute and I can guarantee your class level will be dropped down a notch. I can’t believe anyone would give a 19-year-old such materialistic advice. Money does not guarantee success or happiness. Just look at all the eating disorders and suicides associated with the rich.
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Name : Cindy, Gender : F, Age : 25, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Maybe take the ‘Third’ out of the signature of your name. People feel that the wealthy don’t earn their stripes. The wealthy are out of touch with reality. Why do you look up to the wealthy? I have never even heard of that.
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Name : Mira S., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 31, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : artist/yoga tecaher, Education level : 4 Years of College,an inheritance comes from somewhere. at one point in time, someone worked for that they have. i know my parents want the best for me and for me to have a better life then them – and I know this is true for all walks of life. why is inheriting something that a family member worked for so evil?
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Name : Katie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : Bloomfield Hills, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,
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