[Carinn]

Why do so many African-American women have such a negative reaction to African-American men dating white women? I am a 21-year-old white woman who has been dating an African-American man for a year. I have been shocked by the negative and often hostile reactions my African-American female friends have had to our relationship. I have heard African-American women look at interracial relationships as if white women are stealing their men. Is this true?
Original Code R371. Click here to see responses from the original archives. Click "to respond" below to reply.

User Detail :  

Name : Carinn, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 21, City : N/A, State : NJ Country : United States, 

[Jessica]

I am in a very similar situation. I find that my boyfriend's male friends are very accepting; but of the 20 or so black women he associates with on a daily basis, about half have been openly hostile, and less than five have been minimally friendly. One of my best friends is an African girl, and she is very supportive of my relationship. I wonder if this is partly because she doesn't share the American slave history, in addition to being an intelligent and open-minded, individual. There is some very interesting, if disturbing, discussion of this subject in Spike Lee's Jungle Fever.

User Detail :  

Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 22, City : Framingham, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 

[Patrick W.]

It sure looks like they think white women steal their men. It's probably because it got so popular over the last 5-10 years, so it looks like a fad, or a fashion statement. I have heard that black men get angry when white men steal their women.

User Detail :  

Name : Patrick W., Gender : M, Age : 31, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Louise22601]

As an African-American woman, I think we become upset when African-American men choose white women because it leaves fewer relationship alternatives for us. White men aren't as willing to date black women, and if a majority of black men prefer white women, it means a large majority of us will never be fortunate enough to have any type of relationship at all. I think the prospect of being alone for the rest of lives simply because of the color of our skin makes many of us sad and discouraged and angry.

User Detail :  

Name : Louise22601, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 36, City : Indianapolis, State : IN Country : United States, Occupation : Supervisor, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[E.B.]

Carinn; I am a young, married, and recently racially brain-washed, black man. I grew up in the South, where in some parts the only interracial activities are colored TV's. I've view your plight as a lesson. A lesson that says that if we as a people will stop being so infantile in make a fuss over an element in skin tissue rather than that chemical reaction in our brains the comes and go(mostly when eating large amounts of chocolate). Perhaps you should ask my wife how her personal struggle is going...by the way she's Japanese. And the only thing that stopped her father from completely seceding from her was a white man by the name of Jack Daniel(Japanese men are notoriously hearty drinkers). I asked him, in my limited Japanese, to not look at the man his daughter was choosing but at the life she was choosing. My wife told me of things that did not go as smoothly and even of cases that involved the Japanese Police. Racism here is viewed as what it is and not as colorism. If the Japanese don't like you it's probably because you're American(and if you're black they probably don't like you because black men have literally, and I use the ruefully, injected themselves into Japanese bloodlines and mainstream). As a 'race traitor' myself I would like to say that people are bounded by a need for identity as this world gets bigger and bigger and races are becoming more blended and less concrete. But it gives them no right to use that as an excuse to dilute the power of love. And mind you this is coming from an ex-dope dealer turned Sailor turned husband. Good luck Carinn

User Detail :  

Name : E.B., Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 22, City : Fujimicho, Yokosuka, State : NA Country : Japan, Occupation : U.S. Navy, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Marron-Bella22142]

I believe that you white girls feel that way because you think that these women are jealous of you. It could be the other way around. You may just be jealous of black women and feel that we are upset because you are with a black man. You do not steal our mean, you just take what was not wanted by a black woman in the first place. In your dreams, girls.

User Detail :  

Name : Marron-Bella22142, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 24, City : Anniston, State : AL Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, 

[Author]

Posts