Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 35 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 6 months ago by
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As a white women who does not fit into the thin ideal of beauty I too have found that many white men did not approach me. This is not a blanket statement by any means, just an observation made when I would go out with my friends. On the other hand I never had any problems attracting black men. In fact I am now happily married to a black man. There is a stereotype that all black men are into ‘thicker’ women, I know that is not the case as my brother-in-law prefers very thin women. I think it may be more about preferences in body type rather than skin color although some white men may intimdated by the idea of dating outside their comfort zone and trying something different.
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Name : Leigh, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : European American, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30, City : Fort Collins, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Stay-at-home-mom, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I dont know. Im 21, only 2 years younger than you and I am with a biracial woman while I am a white male. It may be where you live. If the white men grew up with mostly white girls, then there is your answer. If not, then maybe they feel that you do not want to be with them. I am usually very open with women, but with my current girlfriend, who is biracial, I was weary because I did not know if she dated white guys. I knew she dated black and latin guys. That scared me because no one wants to be rejected, and many biracial people take more with their black heritage and not their white. By the way, me and my girl are going on 2 years! Race does not matter unless you make it matter!
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Name : Jonathan-S29079, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States,I am a 18 year old black/female. Where did you say you live oh Oakland, CA. Girl I dont know what you mean because everywhere I go california,goergia,louisiana,texas,new mexico wherever, white guys talk to me. Shut I’m going out with a white guy now. Maybe its just where you live. Why are you stuck on trying to get a white guy anyway? why not just move on? Black guys dont talk to me cause I am dark skinned (proud if it never would change it if I had a chance). So I had to move on to someone who wouldn’t care about my color but about me. Personally you need to go ahead and find you someone who cares about ‘you’ and not the way you look. This question was probably directed to white guys but I’m telling you my opinion and the white guys I’ve been with opinion.
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Name : Simone-Prim28010, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 18, City : Albuquerque, State : NM, Country : United States,As a young single white man I would have to say in many instances I have found women of other races to be very attractive. I also prefer women who are ‘thicker’ (ie. Monica Lewinsky) but not grossly obese (ie. Anna Nicole Smith circa 2002). One problem is that the white guys who feel this way (and I know many of them) get harassed by other men for feeling this way. Popular culture and the media tells us we have to be attracted to these skinny little white girls. There’s also the stigma that a white man who approaches women of other races is only interested in them for sex, since he ‘can’t possibly want a serious relationship with one.’ Ever see someone get angry when they see a white guy with an asian woman and accuse him of ‘yellow fever?’ I have. Another rumor I hear constantly is that girls of other races do not like white men and are not interested in dating them.
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Name : CP, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 32, City : Washington, State : DC, Country : United States, Occupation : computers - technical, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Yeah I agree, it sucks. I’m in the same boat (mixed heritage, southern european and Asian), and I prolly look like you except skinner (I’m a size 8) and yeah – same shit happens here too. I’ve also unfortunately been cured with the fact that I tend to go for blue-eyed blondes/brunette guys. Hence I’m a 22-year-old virgin. Model too. Yep, I’m very fussy with who I see, and often the guys I tend to go for are NEVER interested in me. Oh well *says cheers to oneself and lives the celebate life*
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Name : anonymous12345, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 22, City : don't wanna say, lol, State : MO, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,That’s not true across the board. There are plenty of black men and latinos who are attracted to white girls. It’s just an issue of what a particular guy finds attractive. If a guy grows up in an area where pretty much everyone is white, it can go one of two ways. Either their early life’s experience will determine that he won’t be attracted to you, or being different looking than the girls they’re used to will attract them. If a white girl went to an African village where they see very few white people, the African men would react in one of those two previous ways as well. They would think she’s either ‘funny looking’ or ‘interesting looking’ because she’s different. Also, it could be a personality preference. If you are a particularly outgoing, slightly raucous woman, then maybe that’s why they’re not as apt to date you. I’ve noticed that black girls or latinas who are rowdy and loud and gutsy are more likely to be labeled as fun and outgoing, where white girls with the same traits tend to be labeled as obnoxious and annoying. Black girls and latinas that exhibit shyness seem to be characterized more as stuck-up and anti-social, where as a lot of white guys seem to think that shy girls are cute. If you spoke loudly and informally to a Japanese person (not descent as much as actual native status), they would probably not want to spend much time with you. This sort of behavior is considered impolite and undesirable in that particular culture. In some more diverse areas, the concepts of what is acceptable and attractive behavior is less divided. However, as much as you may be tempted to say ‘Why can’t they keep an open mind?’, you will need to keep something in mind. We are all products of our upbringing, like it or not. It’s very unlikely that a guy will say ‘Oh, she’s [enter ethnic group here], I don’t those girls’. Most of our decision whether someone is attractive to us or not is subconscious. If it’s just that white guys don’t talk to you in general, white guys appear to be more skittish around women, no matter what the woman’s ethnicity is. Black guys and latinos seem to be more confident around women for some reason. These are all generalized observations from my personal experience, and there are plenty of exceptions out there. If you really want a white guy to talk to you, strike up a conversation with him first. You might be surprised.
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Name : Kairuka32479, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : learning disability, Race : Half-English, Half-Puerto Rican, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Poughkeepsie, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Student (attending 4 year), Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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