Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 7 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 4 months ago by
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Do transgendered people prefer to be called by their biological gender or their emotional gender?
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Name : Charles-G, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Religion : Jewish, Age : 23, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,As no one transgendered herself/himself has answered yet, I dare to do that, though I’m not transgendered (I’m just not feeling comfortable with any gender): All transgendered people I have known personally, and there are some 20 of them, have preferred to be called by their emotional gender. To be strict, I do not know how many transgendered people I have met, because it is not that easy to see if someone is transgendered or not! Those 20 are cases in which I know they are.
User Detail :
Name : Kakri26980, Sexual Orientation : non-categorizable sexual orientation, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 38, City : Helsinki, State : NA, Country : Finland, Occupation : Software engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I would say it would be appropriate to use the pronoun that bet fits the way the person presents himself or herself. Someone presenting himself or herself as stereotypically ‘female’ would be referred to as ‘she.’ I say this based on my experiences with transgendered people. I guess if you were really unsure, you could pull the person aside and ask (politely).
User Detail :
Name : Rob29714, Gender : M, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States,I am transgendered but still no expert. Transgendered people are as wide and varied as any other group, so there are no right and wrong answers. I, for instance, am not really bothered by which pronoun people use, as long as it does not endanger me. Others care passionately, and some prefer non-gendered pronouns such as zie or hir. I would suggest it’s always better to ask the person. This is in no way disrespectful; it’s quite the opposite, and should leave you and the other person feeling as comfortable as possible.
User Detail :
Name : Harry, City : London, State : NA, Country : United Kingdom,First of all, transgendered people do not consider their presenting gender merely ’emotional’, just for clarification. Most of us consider ourselves all male or all female, (and many feel more comfortable with that concept after hormone replacement therapy) despite the body we were born with. It wouldn’t be natural for us to suddenly change the overall view of ourselves after we had sex reassignment surgery. A small percentage of us are non-operative, for that matter. It’s a hard concept for non-trans people to grasp, but it’s how it is. As for your question, it is offensive to refer to a TG person as their ‘biological sex’ because their presenting gender is opposite of that. The proper thing to do is address them as their presenting gender and use the corresponding pronouns, which means the gender they identify with (you described it as emotional). Besides, if you don’t, you may get some pretty confused stares from people and/or from the person him/herself. I hope this helps and wasn’t too confusing. It’s a tough thing to explain.
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Name : Allen-Adams, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, City : Dallas, State : TX, Country : United States,Transsexuals almost always consider it a grave insult to be referred to by the pronoun of the wrong sex (the wrong sex, of course, being the one they were born.) If he lives as a man, it doesn’t matter that he was accidentally born female. He’s a ‘he’. If she lives as a woman, it doesn’t matter that she was accidentally born male. She’s a ‘she’. There are a few exceptions. If someone has told you that they’re trans but is still in the closet to most people, for the love of god don’t out them against their will! There are also a small number of people who for one reason or another do not identify as fully male or fully female. Some prefer one set of pronouns, some prefer the other, and some prefer gender-neutral pronouns like sie/hir or zie/zir.
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Name : Kade-S26973, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 18, City : Jersy City, State : NJ, Country : United States, Social class : Upper middle class,AS A TRANSGENDERED MALE, WHEN I MADE THE DECISION TO START THE SEX CHANGE PROCESS (EVEN WITHOUT YET BEING ON HORMONES) I PREFERED TO BE ADDRESSED AS A MALE. IT WAS VERY PAINFUL AND EMBARRASSING TO BE CALLED SHE/HER EVEN AMOUNG FRIENDS. WHEN I FIRST STARTED CORRECTING PEOPLE IT WAS VERY ACKWARD (AND ESPECIALLY DEGRADING TO ME) FOR EVERYONE WITNESSING THE CORRECTION OR APOLOGY. HOWEVER! MY CHOICE DOES NOT REFLECT IN ANY SHAPE, FORM, OR FASHION ANY OTHER TRANSEXUAL/TRANSGENDERED PERSON’S CHOICE. MANY I HAVE MET GO BY EITHER PRONOUN, SOME EVEN PREFERING TO HAVE IT INTERMIXED INSTEAD OF BEING TIED DOWN TO JUST ONE SEX. THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE IS ALWAYS ASK (IN PRIVATE) AND STAY FOCUSED ON GETTING IT RIGHT.
User Detail :
Name : ALEX, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 34, City : FORT WORTH, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : CONTRACTOR, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Okay, so this is only 4 years late, but in case others stumble accross this page via a google trawl like me – while it is a highly individualised choice, the majority of transgendered people do prefer to be called by their ’emotional’ gender.
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Name : Kelly-Broadbent, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Auckland, State : NA, Country : New Zealand, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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