Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 13 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 21 years, 3 months ago by
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- I am 32 and have had four serious boyfriends in my life. I have always imagined having a husband or male life-partner. I love men and am sexually attracted to them, in a low-sex-drive kind of way. However, 95 percent of my sexual fantasies involve women. I cannot stop staring at women's breasts like a big old perverted guy. I am completely turned on by nude women (and have been since childhood), but the sight of a naked man (unless he's in my bed) doesn't do much for me at all. This has been the case for several years, and it's grown stronger as I've gotten older. I can't really see myself becoming emotionally involved with a woman, but all I can think about is having sex with one. Is this bisexuality, even though it's never been acted upon and may never be? I'm curious as to what the 'line' is that people see between heterosexuality and bisexuality - and when that line is crossed. Does simple sexual attraction (not emotional) define our sexuality?
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Name : Tris, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 32, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Program Manager, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Whatever it means, whatever you may or may not be, the most important thing is not to worry about it. People have all kinds of fantasies and are turned on by things that they wouldn't necessarily try. For example, I'm a lesbian and enjoy watching gay male porno. I have no idea what kind of category that puts me in, but I know I don't actually want to do what I see in those movies. I just like to watch it. As far as something being bisexuality when it's never even happened, consider that heterosexuals know that they're straight long before they ever have sex. People like to argue that gay people who've never had straight sex can't really know that they're gay because they haven't had a straight experience. Yet, no one expects heterosexuals to go out and have gay sex to make sure that they're straight. So, yes, I think you can be bisexual without the actual experience. If the opportunity presents itself, you might want to try it with a woman. The worst that could happen is that you'd find you didn't like it. It's possible that you could be physically, but not emotionally, attracted to women. That wouldn't be the wierdest thing in the world. I bet you'd find quite a few women who'd agree that that describes their husband to a tee!User Detail :
Name : Jean, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 38, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Computers, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don't know what it means either but you are not the only one with similar feelings. I am happily married and have a great sex life with my husband. I could never consider being emotionally involved with a woman, however, I find women very attractive. I find naked women very exciting and do fantasize about having sex with women. I don't know that I ever would or will have sex with a woman but I do enjoy the fantasies. They don't interfere in my sexual relations with my husband. I wouldn't be too concerned about your feelings just accept them.User Detail :
Name : Adriana25158, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Agnostic, Age : 29, City : Salt Lake, State : UT Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I was so scared to think that i might be bisexual and it really started to bother me but dont let it. Sometimes I like females and sometines males but I think that you sould realize who you are insted of what you are. I hope this helpedUser Detail :
Name : hey!, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 16, City : hollywood, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,We are all capable of physical pleasure, and the human body is a beautiful thing. The basis of this 'bisexuality' is mostly an acknowledgement of that. When we see a woman or a man, we see someone who has the power to give and receive pleasure. The mystery of the opposite sex and the kinship of our own. The strange and the familiar. The yin and yang. Both are wonderful and beautiful and sexual.User Detail :
Name : StarrWolf, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 20, City : Stephenville, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : delivery driver, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Of course it can be a simple as sexual attraction. However, it doesn't have to be. I think it is very important to understand, when thinking about this sort of question, that sexual-orientation defining words only really describe how you want to be seen. There are some words that a clearer than others. Words like 'bisexual,' 'transgendered,' 'queer,' 'omnisexual,' etc have muddled (perhaps purposefully) the once clear(er) boundaries of attraction. The truth is, many of us feel the way you do... this sort of 'where the heck do I stand?' place of questioning. Only you can decide if you are 'bisexual' or 'straight' or whatever. There is no 'line' to cross. If you feel sexually drawn to women, then you certainly could call yourself bisexual (if you wanted to) because you are interested, in one form or another, in two different biological genders (even if the interest is different in each case). Of course, there would be nothing wrong with self-identifying as 'straight,' either--Especially since you don't seem interested in acting upon your sexual responses to women. I tried to answer your actual question in the first sentence, but there is really so much more to it than that. Do your own soul-searching. I started off feeling exactly the way you described... Then, after the first time I kissed a girl, I began being completely honest with myself about how I felt. I realized I was much more emotionally attracted to certain women than I had let myself be ok with before, not just that I found them sexually appealing. I think this has something to do with not wanting to accept that I might be anything other than straight (sort of like desiring a male life-partner... it just feels safer that way). My realization was that I was bisexual, and very strongly so. You, however, may (upon closer inspection of your feelings towards women) realize that you are only questioning, that you find women more attractive than men because you are more comfortable with the female body, or some other reason. For everyone out there, don't jump into labeling yourselves. Just let your relationships come naturally.User Detail :
Name : Carrie32379, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Disability : temporarily able, Race : human, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Athens, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I was scared to think I might be bisexual, and it really started to bother me, but don't let it. Sometimes I like females and sometimes males, but I think you sould realize who you are instead of what you are.User Detail :
Name : hey!, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 16, City : hollywood, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I agree completely with what you said in your posting - I enjoy sex with my husband, but not immensely. I am attracted to women physically (I just started acknowledging this recently) and emotionally. This forum is the first place I've 'come out' except for a friend. I've been married for many years to really good man whose only faults are just pretty much being emotionally unavailable and too sarcastic. He says I am 'fishing' when I try to initiate emotion-based conversations (talking about feelings, or emotional needs, etc), and says I need to meet my own emotional needs, that it isn't his job. So, I am! I have a very dear friend who is as curious/motivated (not quite the words I want) about meeting her emotional needs with some physical exploration as I am. I intend to stay married until our kids are gone, but unless some miracle happens, I will then leave. Am I confused about my sexuality? Not really. Am I ready to come out? No. Anybody else in the same shoes? I'd welcome your input!User Detail :
Name : SecretMe28023, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unsure, Age : 40, City : Anyplace, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,hi, i feel that being attracted to women is perfectly normal.. here's what i think.. women are pure, soft, seductive, and sexual creatures.. why not be atracted to them? when u see a naked woman and get turned on.. it's b/c women are sexual and it makes u think of sex.. so that leads to fantasies about women.. and trust me.. what IS so sexy about a naked guy, hmm? its what tehy do with it.. not how it looks lol thast just the way the world works.. i say have fun.. be greedy.. please urself.. ;)User Detail :
Name : bella23329, Gender : F, Age : 27, City : pittsburgh, State : PA Country : United States,I'm reading a book about sexual attraction, and iin it, it says that woman, although heterosexual, are generally not aroused by the sight or a nude man. If I were a woman, I would be attracted to women too! Women's bodies are just so interesting! The way they curve and turn, the bumps and crevices. How soft women are...User Detail :
Name : Nathan20134, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30's, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,The media and mass public would like us to believe that our sexuality fits into this nice little, that 'this is gay', 'this is straight', 'this is bisexual' and there's no shades of gray. The problem with that is we live in a world of gray and people's sexuality does not fit neatly into any little box. It's completely possible that you might be only physically attracted to men and women but only emotionally attracted to men. I'm just about the opposite, physically attracted to men and woman but only emotionally attracted to women. I consider myself bisexual, other people may not because I'm not very emotionally attracted to men. Only you can define your own sexuality. If you're scared, remember that this does not change who you are, it only changes the people who you make relationships with.User Detail :
Name : Alex, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 18, City : PH, State : MI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I recognised myself from your post right away, Tris.. I have simply come to the conclusion that all humans are sexual beings, disregard their sex. Everyone has some sort of sexual energy, and it just has to effect you. I don´t think we´re bisexual, since we can´t see ourselves being emotionally involved with another woman. I mean, think about it. The world is full of fetishes. It´s impossible, in my opinion, to draw lines when it comes to something as complicated and incredible as sexuality.User Detail :
Name : ElsaMaria25344, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Orthodox Christian, Age : 18, City : Helsinki, State : NA Country : Finland,I think that maybe you should try it because in my case i find all woman attractive but ive only been with one and still i find myself looking at girls and i find myself having dreams about girls but on the other hand my man turns me on to the fullest and i wouldnt leave him for nothing in the world but once in a while its good to try something new.User Detail :
Name : Subrina27730, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : middletown, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,i think that the urges that you are having are called curioscity and there is no harm in that try it and see if you like it if not then you will know if you are bisexual or not but what you are experincing is calle bi-curious.User Detail :
Name : brandi23160, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : black and white, Age : 20, City : middletown, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : dietary aide/ student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,
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