Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 32 replies, 33 voices, and was last updated 20 years ago by
.
- Posts
Honestly, my first time did’t hurt me as bad as my peers said theirs hurted because of the simple fact that I use tampons ( it strecthes the hymen) and I’m an active teenagers as in sports and such. I also felt comfortable with my boyfriend so I wasnt tense. Basically just remember to be realaxed WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT and remember…. don’t do it because of pressure, then you’ll regret it
User Detail :
Name : Neisha, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 17, City : detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,I’m glad someone waited (and is still waiting) longer than I did. I wish I was still a virgin, but I am glad that I at least waited until I was 18 yrs old to ‘give in.’ And, it was with a true friend. 13 years later we are still close, however, we are not married. The point that I’m getting to is that while you may get tempted to have sex it is far better to wait until you are confident that you are ready, and being married is an even better time. When I had sex the first time it felt good, but I was a little nervous. You are at the age in which your peers won’t have a bloody clue about what they want — and I mean this for guys and girls. I watched a Christian tv show a few months ago on the subject of abstinance, and it was quite informative. There are so many risks invovled with sex, far more than say 10 years ago. If all else fails just remember that nowadays sex is a risk and that it shuld be shared with someone who you really trust!
User Detail :
Name : Reggie, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 31, City : Ft Walton Beach, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Military, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’ve made the mistake of not waiting. I’ll be honest with you. I enjoyed it very much, but deep down inside, I regret it every day. Ever since that day, my views on life have been totally different. I wish I could take back what I lost. And if you decide to lose your viginity, I can pretty much guarantee, you’ll regret it too.
User Detail :
Name : Bob, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Hispanic, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 18, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Sales Associate, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Sandy, I am 25 and a virgin. It’s nice to know that there is at least one other person out there that wants to wait for marriage. It can be difficult and lonely, but I encourage you to resist the pressures. Sex will be so much better when it is an expression of your ultimate love for your partner and not simply a means of finding love with someone. There are a number of websites you can visit where people talk about temptations and look for support, if that helps. As for the pubic hair thing, I think that it is really an individual question. Our society might suggest that all men want a hairless woman, but that is simply not true. Similarly, not all men want women with huge breast, despite what society might suggest.
User Detail :
Name : Doug25627, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 25, City : Portland, State : OR, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Believe me, it’s NOT everything people make it out to be. Sex is such a tool to sell things that it could never live up to all the hype. In fact, sex is a tool period. It’s used to control people, as a reward, as punishment, and so on and so on. You’re not missing anything by waiting.
User Detail :
Name : Nathan20129, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30's, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,I wish I could of been strong enough to resist the temptations until marriage. I congratulate you for being able to do so. I have heard from women that sex for the first time can be uncomfortable at first, but as they continue, it gets much more easier and much more pleasurable. I, for one, am not real picky about pubic hair. I don’t really want it as hairy as an ape but other than that it isn’t a big issue for me.
User Detail :
Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Southern Baptist, Age : 27, City : Goldsboro, State : NC, Country : United States, Occupation : Comp. Prog. Super., Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think Victor’s response was very thoughtful. You indicate that you are Catholic. If you are strongly religious (and believe in all ‘the rules’), do you think this might cause you to have a lot of guilt? I have heard a number of women say that their first time was not the best that they ever had (I suspect because it was with a relatively inexperienced teenage boy–or and inconsiderate man.), but this is probably best left to the women to answer. From my perspective as a man, I would probably be a little bit leery of a woman who was still a virgin. I would be afraid that she might be uncomfortable with her sexuality. From your description, however, I don’t think you would fall into that category. As far as pubic hair is concerned, less hair seems to be the current trend among some folks. However, my preference is more toward natural. (I even find unshaven underarms slightly more appealing, although being raised in the U.S., I have to admit that unshaven legs look a little odd to me.) Again, the women could give you a better answer, but I think that if you decide to start shaving (or pulling–Ouch!) you will find yourself with a lot more maintenance. In any case, you seem to be well-balanced and thoughtful, so I’m sure that you will make the best decision for you. Best of Luck!
User Detail :
Name : Lawrence, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 41, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Quite frankly I believe that marrying as a virgin is an idea of the past. It used to certainly be preferable before, but with today’s contraceptive options men and women can worry less about pregnancy and disease. From the male perspective, I can say that both I and the few partners I’ve had, have enjoyed sex as a natural and healthy activity. So yes it is fun. (A woman would be better to answer the first time question) That said, I have found that sex in a committed relationship with someone I care about to be dramatically more pleasurable. I would recommend that you experience it as a natural progression in a relationship and not just do it to ‘get it over with’ after a few dates. Remember too that the person you marry will (hopefully) be the only person you will have sex with again–so, like anything else, it is important that you are compatible in that regard too. As for the pubic hair issue, while images glamorize the shaved look, it is a high maintenance endeavor. I think most men won’t complain with a neatly trimmed style (Most guys will just be grateful they’re seeing it at all!) Good luck and above all be safe in whatever you decide.
User Detail :
Name : Pedro, Gender : M, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Sex is awesome. And I don’t use the term ‘awesome’ the way one does when discussing a sandwich or a new television. With a caring, enthusiastic partner, sex is one of the greatest things life has to offer. Should you wait? It’s entirely up to you. Personally, I lost my virginity at 18 and cannot imagine waiting any longer. Pubic hair: Honestly, it doesn’t matter. 9 out of 10 men won’t care at all. It’s that last thing I’m thinking of when making love.
User Detail :
Name : Josh29135, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Arcata, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Cook, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,Sex is great, for some moreso than others. I think men enjoy it more over the long term. It will hurt the first time, but not that much, because it feels good too. Pubic hair is not an issue for most men.
User Detail :
Name : Carol W., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 43, City : Fairfax, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,As a man we don’t need it to be hairless, but nice and trimmed is always a welcomed circumstance. As far as waiting/not waiting; I say sex is great!! But usually when its with someone I love. So if you have someone you love and temptation lures you in… go for it.
User Detail :
Name : Damon Beck, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 27, City : Inglewood, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : counselor, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I really encourage you to keep your virginity until marriage. I know how hard it is, but I married young and kept it until then. Once you decide to let yourself have sex, you are going to put the burdon of ‘who’s gonna be the ONE’ on every guy you meet or hook up with. But in regard to your other questions, yes, it hurts teh first time. I have heard of people whose first times were not painful, but I have yet to meet them. For me, I was in pain for the first dozen or so times I had sex, though the pain was definitely too slight to stop the action! Different guys have different preferences for ‘down there,’ though neat and clean is always preferable.
User Detail :
Name : Melissa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Ocean, State : NJ, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Sex is nice – when you do it because you want to, with someone you like and trust. It *can* hurt the first time, but if the guy is careful and considerate that should be minimal. I’ve never understood the ‘waiting’ thing, though. Sex is fun, but more so when you can relax and enjoy it; and that’s something I had to learn myself. In hindsight, I think I only really got the hang of it when I was about 24; that’s six years (and 8 girls) after my first time! I must say that I, myself, have always been glad if the woman I went to bed with was NOT a virgin; as I said, it helps when both feel confident and relaxed, and I have never met anyone who was really confident and relaxed the first time they did _anything_. Furthermore, I have been in a steady relationship for almost six years now, and I’m glad we both had extensive experience before we met. It’s good to know who you are, what you like, and what you want – both in a relationship and in bed.
User Detail :
Name : Bas, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Amsterdam, State : NA, Country : The Netherlands, Occupation : Designer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,There are a lot of ways to find out about sex without having it. I was actually rather full of random knowledge before I had any sexual encounters. The thing you have to ask yourself and think about is WHY you want to wait. I realized that I didn’t want to share something that personal with a person I didn’t think I was going to be with for the rest of my life. In the end, I found myself perfectly happy with someone and talking about marraige. While you might call it ‘giving in’ I think of it as finding the right time. I’ve not had a single regret, because I knew my reasons and my emotions. As for your questions. It can hurt the first time, a lot from what I’ve heard. There are a lot of ways to minimize the pain though. Women don’t just like foreplay for the emotion, it’s neccesary for them. The vagina is made up of muscles, and they have to be stretched out over a period of time. You wouldn’t just launch into a split from sitting down all day. The other issue is lubrication. Women produce natural lubricants, but that again takes time. If you have a guy that’s willing to take his time and make sure you’re feeling alright, the first time can be just as great as the fifth or fiftieth. The key to the whole thing is saying what you’re feeling. If it hurts, say so and then he can stop. As for pubic hair, that’s every guy to himself. Men have vastly different opinions on the subject, so it’s best to just know what you’re partner likes.
User Detail :
Name : Meiran, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Roanoke, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.