Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 12 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 22 years, 3 months ago by
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Why is it acceptable for men to have sex with boys in some cultures, yet still be seen as heterosexual?
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Name : Erin W., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 43, City : Hamilton, State : ID, Country : Australia, Occupation : nurse, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don’t know what you mean by ‘acceptable.’ But I think you’re asking why men in some cultures can have sex with men and still be seen as heterosexual. I think the first ‘myth’ to dispell is that other cultures ‘see’ people as having a sexuality (i.e. heterosexuality, homosexuality, etc.). Those specific terms–heterosexual and homosexual–are late 19th and 20th century, Western inventions. In fact, homosexual was used before heterosexual in the U.S. and Europe, and it initially wasn’t used to describe ‘normal’ sexual relations but rather promiscuous, pleasure-seeking men (mostly) and women. Clearly you see that there are differences in the ways different cultures relate to bodies and bodily pleasure, but I think you’re still looking at these differences through the lens that only works on our own cultures.
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Name : bjd, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : homosexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Humanist, Age : 24, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : library worker & student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,The way you phrase the question indicates the real issues. You are asking ‘Why can other people believe differently from what I take to be true?’ You define yourself to be a straight Catholic. (not attack or offence intended. just repeating the data you posted for context) Western civilization since roughly 400 AD has taken its mores from the locally dominant type of Christianity, often to the point of outlawing anyone with a different religion or even flavor of Christianity. To be more specific, you state ‘Why is it acceptable for men to have sex with boys in some cultures, yet still be seen as heterosexual?’ You actually have rolled several assumptions and questions together. Would you feel more comfortable if these men were considered homosexual? Would you feel better if their behaviour were not accepted? Christianity has imported a great deal from the Hellenes in the way of we view the world. We seek single valued functions. A person is considered either gay or straight and that is taken for a defining value. Other cultures do not necessarily make those assumptions. You ask why is it acceptable for men to have sex with other males. This falls into the same category as to whether it is acceptable to eat bacon. Devout Muslim and Jews would consider it an abomination, while Christians do not. Christians like to speak and write about moral absolutes, yet each variant of the Judeo Christian has different, sometimes conflicting, absolutes.
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Name : Teddy, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Richmond, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The ‘active’ partner (the one who does the penetration or receives oral sex) isn’t considered ‘gay’ but the ‘passive’ partner (the one being penetrated or giving oral sex) is considered ‘gay’. Often there’s no stigma attached to being the active partner but only to being the passive partner/taking the female role.
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Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 40, City : Ft. Lauderdale, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Programmer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I’ll bet there is no one answer to your question, but one guess is that this issue has to do not so much with sexual orientation, but with power relationships. The way I understand it is this: ‘masculine’ men in certain cultures need to have power over others; in sexual acts they show this power by being the ‘insertor.’ If this explanation is right, then it doesn’t matter who the ‘insertee’ is (whether female or male). The male retains his masculinity because of the nature of the sexual act he performs.
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Name : charles32278, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 45, City : chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Which bothers you more – men having sex with men or that in other cultures, sexual mores vary? Also, why does it matter how the other culture defines homosexual? Anglo Christians pigeonhole people as exclusively straight or everything else bing gay. Why not ask why it is acceptable not to go to church in other religions, but still be a devout jew, buddhist, etc?
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Name : Teddy24681, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Richmond, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Because in many cultures one is only gay if one is the passive or receiving partner in the sexual act.
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Name : Patrick30449, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 27, City : Boston, State : MA, Country : United States, Occupation : lawyer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,Hi there… I don’t profess to know the answer to this question but I will say the little, tiny bit I know. I saw a program on a tribe in Africa where it was believed that boys had to ingest the semen of an adult man in order to begin growing into a man. Basically, the boys had to perform oral sex on the men of the tribe or they would not be considered men. Those men were still considered straight and so were the boys, even though they were performing sexual acts with each other. I think it is because for a relationship, they had to marry a woman and this was more a ritual than just a sex act. Now, in Brazil, for some reason, men who receive anal sex are considered ‘gay’ but men who deliver it aren’t. I think it’s because there, men are supposed to be in charge of directing sex. if they aren’t, they are considered feminine. That’s my guess. Personally, in cases like Brazil, I think it’s just a bunch of rationalization. In cases like that tribe, it’s a cultural ritual. It really depends.
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Name : Sheri R., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 41, City : san francisco, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Your question poses multiple issues that are very different. Men having sex with boys is about pedophilia, not just about sexual orientation. Taking the age out of it: Many people view their sexual orientation (gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual) very differently than their behavior (no sex with men or women, some sex with men or women, lots of sex with whomever, etc.) People can identify as straight and still have sex with others of the same gender. Often sexual orientation labels (gay, straight, etc.) are more about an affliation with a group or taking on a label, not about someone’s actual behavior. (i.e. men or women in prison may have sex with someone of the same gender yet not identify as gay.)
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Name : Laura, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 32, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : psychotherapist/social worker, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,This question has another dimension now that a number of Catholic priests have been implicated in this kind of behavior. Not only are the men in your question seen as straight–they are still seen as morally correct! Some scholars (David E. Greenberg in _The Construction of Homosexuality_ and David Halperin in _One Hundred Years of Homosexuality_) argue these points: 1. The categories of heterosexual and homosexual are pretty new–people didn’t get categorized by sex acts before 1800. 2. Homosexual behavior doesn’t appear the same in all cultures. 3. If sexual orientation is determined by the genes or brain structures, you could theoretically look at a man’s genes or brain to see whether he’s homosexual or heterosexual. I think Greenberg says, ‘Let’s do this with a tribesman of the Akuna of New Guinea’ as an example, since this tribe has ritualized oral sex with boys. But, if it turns out that the man is heterosexual, why does he have ritual sex with boys in early life? If he’s homosexual, why does he enjoy sex with his wife in later years? Maybe sexual orientation is hard-wired into our bodies, maybe not. But lots of people think it’s socially constructed.
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Name : Alice31381, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 25, City : Danbury, State : CT, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Some cultures have a different, lest strict definition of homosexuality. In Ancient Rome and Greece, and modern American prisons, the penetrator is not considered homosexual, whereas the receiver is.
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Name : Kevin26314, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 21, City : Ypsilanti, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Librarians Assistant, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I’ve heard that before, but for male homosexual activity, I can’t uderstand why the ‘Reciver’ is considered ‘gay’ but the penetrator isn’t. I mean if a straight guy is beaten and raped, does that make him gay even though he was unwilling? In order for a gay man to penetrate a males anus, he needs to be erect. Therefor, he must desire the male anus enough to obtain an erection. It just doesn’t make sense that way.
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Name : sorednax, City : Fort Mill, State : SC, Country : United States,Some people come from counties who have very diffrent moral values from us. In our society we judge people on thier actions and give destinct titles to that person. But in some places behaviors that we would concider unusual could be a very normal act in thier society. For instince in the Roman mythology a man might sleep with a boy to show he was a man now. But even though we might view these acts as imoral we should not blame them for thier society natural customs.
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Name : MATT, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 18, City : Pheonix, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : Unemployed, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,
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