Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 42 replies, 43 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 9 months ago by
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As your brain ages, it starts becoming quite set in its patterns. It trims connections it never used much, but doesn’t even realize that it’s doing it or that they were there. All that is there is a vague uncomfortability that you’ve forgotten something. Therefore people just become set in their ways, and don’t realize how little they appreciate change after awhile. Old people have had a lot of experience, and had to survive a lot of nonsense. Furthermore, our society has dropped a few notches in the respect category, which makes them uneasy. They remember different times.
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Name : Brian23053, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 29, City : Bloomfield Township, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The author of this message is 77 years old. All my life among many things that I beleive in is that respect is to be earned. It is not dished out like a bowl of oatmeal. Its like trust,it must be earned. If I want your trust and friendship…when in borrowing money as an example………..I damn well pay it back when promised for your friendship means everything to me.
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Name : WALT24358, Gender : M, Age : 77, City : TOLEDO, State : OH, Country : United States, Occupation : retired, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am a 68 year old man and rarely am I treated in a rude way. On the other hand, I am not rude to others. I go out of my way, in fact, to pay attention to persons who wait on me in shops and restaurants — am unfailingly courteous in every way. Recently, a young man got my wife’s and my order wrong in a restaurant and, thus, delayed getting our order out to us. He sent his boss to apologize and he said, ‘He was afraid you would yell at him.’ Well, of course, we would never have yelled at him. He apologized over and over despite our telling him to think nothing of it. We left, appreciated his service and sensitivity and left him a very nice gratuity. So for those who find older people grouchy, please know that we are not all that way.
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Name : Vance, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 68, City : Macon, State : GA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,The way I see it, if one is working in the sales capcity like a cashier you need to diffuse these rude people. The way to do that is smile and laugh and ignore their rudness. That way they have no way to continue the bad behavour. I am in the oppisite difficulty. Being 48 I am working with some young people who are rude and very disrespectful of me. I guess it is the manners you were taught as a child that makes you the way you are.Everyone has to earn respect but handle direspect is a bit different. Be kind to all.
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Name : Robin29598, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 48, City : Bastrop, State : TX, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am almost elderly and don’t feel that way. There are many who do not feel ENTITLED. My belief is that if you extend respect to everyone, regardless of age, that same respect will be returned. CDH
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Name : ChristalClarity32224, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Catholic, Age : 53, City : Cleveland, State : OH, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Psst Phillip, Think you were out of line to begin with on this one. What is being crabby have to do with your subject. Perhaps the woman had a legitimate issue and you got your nickels worth in because you had no fear of retribution. Becareful flapping your jaws at people. Do not imagine you would have voiced your opinion had the crab been a 30 year old 6’5′ 265 lb. male. Rock On Tough Guy
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Name : R Hunt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 59, City : Lake Placid, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Sales, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,When people get older we have more aches and pains. All the broken bones that we have, are now terribly arthritic, and very painful. We have to be careful not to speak in negative ways to others. If we can’t say anything nice, just keep quiet. Younger people don’t stop to think past the immediate moment, and don’t realize situations in any great depth. Watch ‘The Apprentice’ for examples.
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Name : D31855, City : Dearborn heights, State : MI, Country : United States,Who knows, maybe jerks have a longer life span.
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Name : Jason31223, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 25, City : Yates, State : FL, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am 27, and understand where you come from. Let’s for a moment though think about how it may feel to be elderly. You wake up your body aches and pains from arthritis. Most people you knew have passed on and the family you have in a lot of cases don’t bother with you. You probably worked a long time and were a vital part of society. Now you move slow, maybe you can’t hear to good, maybe you can’t see. I think I would probably be cranky too. Try to remember that we will all be there and we don’t know what the other person’s situation is.
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Name : Cathy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 27, City : Fresh Meadows, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : customer service, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I agree with the nurse; I’ve worked in a nursing home also. I think that older people sometimes deal poorly with the frustrations they encounter as they grow older, and some take this out on yournger people. They feel helpless and being crabby is one of the remaining ways of exercising some sort of power over someone else. I think it’s good to call someone on their disrespectful behavior, regardless of their age, and it is also good to try to understand why they are acting that way in the first place.
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Name : Sarah, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 24, City : Winchester, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,In my experience, most elderly- not in a nursing home- are more understanding, compassionate, experienced (by definition), and tolerant than younger people. I worked in a nursing home when I was a teenager, and it didn’t take me long to realize that these people felt impotent in their surroundings, in some cases. This led to lots of ‘acting out.’ In other cases, they were simply not capable of controlling what came out of their mouths: rude maybe, but always honest. The best way to deal with the elderly in a nursing home is to treat them like you want to be treated, and let everything else roll off your back. Think of it as karma that’ll come back to you one day, God willing. Phillip, whether or not old people are rude, you should probably learn to keep your mouth shut. Defending the cashier does not necessarily mean attacking (albeit only verbally) a lady who is 3X your age. When you’ve survived 72 years, and are still capable of walking into a grocery store to buy your own stuff, you should be granted a little leeway in the ‘manners’ department, too.
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Name : Debora, Gender : F, Religion : Muslim, Age : 40, City : Virginia Beach, State : VA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I’m with your opinion Ray D! I’m only 57+ but am retired due to medical reasons. I figure I have plenty of time to be polite.. sometimes even to the point of getting my wife aggravated with me. As in traffic ‘Why don’t you go ahead? You can make it.’ My response is always ‘If I were in a big hurry I should have left earlier’. I have a couple of friends who believe this and, more importantly, practice it also. We generally smile mor than most people also I have noticed.
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Name : L Bowen, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : arthritic w/ brain damage, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 57, City : Charleston, State : WV, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,I trained in gerontology and am a 53 yr. old man who is in the ‘sandwich’ generation between my 20 something sons and my parents in their late 70’s. I have a ringside seat to the reality of aging. As we age–after a certain point–we begin to experience many things that are ‘losses’. When we retire we no longer have the status we once did. Our bodies begin to fall apart–slowly or quickly. We are no longer considered beautiful or handsome by society. Friends and spouses begin to age and die. We may have diminished incomes. If you approach old age with a different point of view than just tallying up your losses I believe you need not experience the bitterness you saw. Life is still an adventure. But when you become idle and retire from life instead of just a job it is easy for depression to set in. It can become a downward spiral that makes people bitter with loss, pain and loneliness. They often lash out at the only people they feel are more vulnerable than themselves. People who yearn for a ‘better’ time in the past are also at risk–nothing is as good as it used to be. Change is just another obstacle to be dealt with. Perhaps it is true you can learn from even a bad teacher. Your experience may help you not become like the crabby woman you met. Aging is a fact of life and you won’t always be 22. 53 is still pretty good, but I miss my hair and my waistline, but not much! Your question is the beginning of learning.
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Name : Paul, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : diabetes, migraines, spinal deterioration, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Quaker, Age : 53, City : Normal, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : university placement counselor, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am a nurse who has worked in ‘nursing homes’, To respond to a responder you might be seeing the ‘worse’ of the society. I can’t think of a single ‘good’ nursing home i would want to be in. So you have a group of people that thier own families didn’t want them around either. Also many people feel that with age comes unquestgioned respect. Don’t geberalize this behavior to all older people, its the few bad that you remember not the many nice that go un-noticed.
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Name : Kynn, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Methodist, Age : 28, City : Lubbock, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : nurse/student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think the problem lies in the fact that most cultures look to the elders for leadership and wisdom, this breeds a strong belief that if your old you are wise and deserve respect. However in todays fast paced world being old simply means you are now out of touch (in most cases). Also old ppl get callous of other ppls feelings and seem to think that they can do as they please and justify that because they are old.
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Name : Richard, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 29, City : Gauteng, State : NA, Country : South Africa, Occupation : Clark, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class,
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