1. Our elders built this society,just as we are building it today. They fought it wars; taught schools; worked as a salesclerk or construction worker etc. They joined unions for worker's rights; they suffered from diseases we now have cures for; they voted for laws to protect the average citizen from those with alot of power. To me, our elders deserve our respect. 2. Ref. 'grumpy.' Aren't you grumpy when in pain, hungry or sleepy? Elderly people tend to live in pain and therefore have problems sleeping too. They can't eat what they used to because of disease or somebody else preparing their meals. Once proud and independent people, now become more dependent because thier bodies are declining. It can be embarassing. Younger people tend to look at elderly as 'elderly' and not as the individual people they are. Elderly people still think and desire all the things you and I do: sex, road rage, gossip,.... Look at yourself, don't you still think in much the same way you did 5 or 10 years ago? Don't look at the wrinkled skin of an older person, look in their eyes. See through their eyes. With our health technology, you most likely will live to become elderly and have to live with pain, disrespect and dependence.
User Detail :
Name : Theresa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : recovering from broke neck, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 41, City : Colorado Springs, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : contract housecleaner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, So far, I am the most qualified to respond to this board -but I wont get into that. Not all elderly are the way you have all portrayed. Some are decent, stay nice, polite and wear their crown of wisdom quite well. Some (especially in nursing homes) may have a type of Dementia or Short Term Memory Loss (STML). This causes fear and confusion. Others (like the one at the grocery store) may be feeling the 'pains of age' which are difficult. Also we must remember that as we get older, we start to feel disassociated from the world. This may make them feel fearful and distrustful. To the elderly the world is getting scarier (in reality their correct): more crime, kids carrying guns to school, lack of respect, etc.. These feeling coupled with a mild case of Memory loss is a sure recipe for a bad day.
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Name : Mark22071, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 33, City : Bellevue, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Self Employed, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, I read the other responses generated by your question and they surprised me. Here, in the Midwest, I find that the majority of older citizens are more polite and courteous than other age groups. They were raised in a era where most people were taught to be polite. However, I've also met some that were extremely rude. Some were just 'jerks' to start with and have carried that behavior over into old age. While there's no excuse for rude behavior, I can think of two extenuating factors. Some may have fixed monthly pensions that haven't kept pace with inflation and are in constant financial stress, having to decide whether for instance, to buy food, purchase the medicine they need, or pay the monthly utility bill. Others may suffer from physical infirmities or age-related illnesses and don't feel well at any time. Neither of the above two circumstances are calculated to give one a positive outlook.
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Name : Mike, City : Evasnville, State : IN Country : United States, I think that when older people are acting 'crabby' or disrespectful it is because they are dealing with the pains and ills of old age. It is hard to be nice when your back and legs hurt and you're constantly thinking about getting your next tube of Bengay. Also, couple that with the continual depreciation of respect for the ederly, if an ederly person is cheerful I am always surprised. This is not to say that all older folks should be allowed to be spiteful, but just try to consider where the elder is coming from before you automatically assume they are being cruel without merit. They lived that long so they must have done something right.
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Name : E.H., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 23, City : Charlottesville, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Lab Tech, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I find it very ageist of some of you to suggest that all old people are mean and crabby. Have you met every older person in the world? Very likely these rude older people you encountered were always rude and crabby from age three on. They say we become more of ourselves as we grow old. Some of these people may also be crabby because society in general is very youth oriented and old people really aren't respected that much anyway. Mostly we see old folks as useless dinosaurs who should be segregated into their own communities. In so far as respect, every human being you encounter should be shown respect until there is a reason not to extend such courtesy.
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Name : Lyn, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, I agree that all people should be treated with respect however I also understand that alot of elderly people are tired, weary and quite often ill. We all have our bad days, but when elderly people have more bad days then good due to physical ailments it can be easily understood why they may be crabby. I had a truly wonderful grandfather, very gentle, loving and considerate. One year afer my grandmother passed his health severly deteriorated and I feel that it left him bitter. He was very crabby and lacked patience to say the least. I think that we need to be compassionate and perhaps just flash them a smile, maybe that will change their attitudes at least temporarily.
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Name : Julie S., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 35, City : Spokane, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Several years ago, I was in need of a temporary place to stay, and a friend needed someone to stay with her elderly mother until a permanent aid could be located for her, so it seemed natural that by moving in, two needs would be met. After two weeks of this woman complaining about everything that wasn't really wrong, and being angry when I found things that really did need to be fixed, I finally contacted a geriatric nurse for some advise on how to deal with her. This is what I learned. They are afraid of being abandoned: many older people don't want things fixed as being 'needy' gets them attention. They are afraid of being dependent: they feel a loss of 'personal power': they no longer have children at home, they are retired and have no responsibilities to attend to, they are physically failing and don't feel they can fend for themselves, so they strike out in the only way they can, verbally. They are often angry at not being able to take care of themselves in certain ways, so when someone does something for them that they CAN do for themselves, they get angry as they feel that what little 'power' they do have, is being taken away. They fear the loss of their mental capabilities: they have a hard time grasping new concepts and changes, they will become frustrated and angry with the situation when they can't figure it out, or can't understand it. They fear isolation: their peer group is dying and the world, as they knew it, the social structure that was theirs, all of these things have changed in ways that they can't always grasp a full understanding of. All of this information helped me to better be able to interact with my friends mother, and, it also gave me the ability to be more charitable towards the elderly in general. I feel that our societies 'cult of youth' has done a great disservice by alienating us from the issues of aging. We may look younger, but our insides are still aging and we all will have to contend with these issues eventually. All of this has helped me be more compassionate towards the aging and their physical, emotional and mental needs. I've also made a point to make friends with elderly people wheenever I can. I hope this helps a few folk out there be more patient, and maybe, even get to know some of these 'grumpy old people' and help them have a better day.
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Name : Lora, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 51, City : Pleasanton, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Retail Operations Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, Not expecting our deference will be abused, we're slow to warn seniors -- often only insisting on propriety when we're hurt/angry. Joe B nailed it in pointing out that the root 'age' factor is in our deference. At any age, if abuse is tolerated, it grows. Extending the idea of age-indifference and speaker independence, Internet offers an objective analogy. Computer messages are 'framed' to handle issues of timing, purpose, resource sharing, etc. Designers didn't set it up that way because it's 'nice', but because it helps prevent communication breakdowns. Conversational 'etiquette' does many of the same things for humans, for the same reason.
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Name : Bill29221, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, 
JJParticipant
I've noticed our culture generally encourages us to think of all old people as being either aging war vets, distinguished retirees, or brave survivors who have overcome a lifetime of hardship. Thus, old people are often given an automatic 'hero/victim' status, and we're expected to treat them with respect based on these presumptions. Many senior citizens, like the ones that have been described, obviously tend to exploit this goodwill for their own selfish purposes. I believe that a large part of this phenomenon is generational, however. Today's seniors were born in the 20's-30's, and thus lived through the war and a lot of civil strife and turmoil. Because our society obsesses and revisits the events of the last 60 years so often, its only natural that we venerate the people who serve as living reminders of those times. When this 'greatest generation' dies out however, and the boomers become the new seniors I think it will be much harder for them to demand respect simply because of their age. North American society is not like societies in Asia or wherever, where age is taken as an automatic sign of wisdom and competence. I think today we respect the elderly based on assumptions about what they have done and lived through, not just how old they are.
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Name : JJ, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 20, City : Vancouver, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : cartoonist, Education level : 2 Years of College, All I can say, is that I am pissed at most old people. Just because they are older than me, doesn't give them an excuse to cut me off and go half the speed limit. Or get mad at me just because I choose to walk on THEIR sidewalk which belongs to the government. If any old people want respect, EARN IT!! That's the only way to get it. No matter your age...
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Name : Mike, City : Pensacola, State : FL Country : United States, I feel the same way sometimes. I was on an airplane once, and I had the aisle seat, and I had just taken my seat when this older woman (who had the window seat, right next to mine) came along and said to me, 'Move over. I want the aisle seat.' She didn't say please. She didn't phrase her utterance in the form of a question. She didn't smile. Now, I don't know whether it's legal to change seats like that on a commercial flight, but I wasn't about to give up my seat for some elderly lady; I prefer the aisle seat to the window seat. But most elderly people I encounter are pretty nice. I think it might just be an antiquated, pointless tradition to treat the elderly with respect, regardless of whether or not they deserve it.
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Name : Brendan M., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 19, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, I think with any other group of people there are some good and some bad...my grand mother who is 85 is the sweetest person you will ever meet. I kind of think about it this way if they are elderly and are old and grumpy, when they were young they were probably that exact sme way.
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Name : LL19677, Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 29, City : Chi-Town, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Management/Executive, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, The elders have wisdom you can't imagine, even if they seem creaky and weird. They've been through a lot. They're old and they can't move very fast. Please at least give them the courtesy of not being a jerk. I'm not THAT old, but one of my closest friends, a woman of 85, died last month. I miss her a lot. I learned a lot from her, and I hope everybody has the chance to be friends with an elder.
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Name : GordonR, City : Salt Lake City, State : UT Country : United States, 
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