Meeting his (black) family

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  • #7792

    S.P.
    Member
    I have been in an interracial relationship for almost three years. We get along great. He has met most of my family members, and even though I was nervous about what some of them were going to say, it was important to me for them to meet him. Yet I have never met any of his family members. I am not sure if this is a race issue, if he is embarrassed by his family or if he is embarrassed for them to meet me. Should I be concerned by this, even though he isn't?

    User Detail :  

    Name : S.P., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Morristown, State : NJ Country : United States, 
    #40749

    Serene28047
    Participant
    What does he say? What reason does he give for you not meeting his family? Is he not close to his family? How old are the two of you? In my case it has never been particularily a strong point to 'bring the guy home' because it was my business. No embarassment on either part, I just never got around to it, unless there was some family function. It doesn't do well to speculate until he can answer your questions - and no, it's not cultural.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Serene28047, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 43, City : Chandler, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Business Owner, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #14404

    Philip30419
    Participant
    It would be difficult for you to divine why he has not introduced you to his family, unless you ask him directly. That notwithstanding, it does seem like three years is too long to have gone out with this guy and not have met ANY of his family members. Why don't you ask him? If he cannot give you a candid or reasonable answer, he is probably trying to conceal something from you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Philip30419, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 34, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #46435

    T.
    Participant
    I would have to stop and ask myself why, after all these years, I haven't met his family. This is a very serious step for most couples that are in committed relationships. What reason does he give for your not meeting his family? I think you need to sit and talk with him and ask him to be honest with you. I am in an interracial relationship and my parents do not approve. It has been two years now and still it looks like my parents will never come around. Anyway, my point is that honesty is the best policy. I hope that if you guys have a great relationship, he will be honest with you, no matter how it makes you feel.

    User Detail :  

    Name : T., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 29, City : eason, State : AL Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #46696

    J.
    Member
    If he's not concerned about the situation, then just plan a trip to go see his family. Tell him you'd like to meet them. At that point, if he comes up with excuses, you may need to sit him down and talk. There are still a lot of negative feelings in the African-American community toward whites/Caucasians, and interracial relationships aren't always received with open arms, so tread lightly.

    User Detail :  

    Name : J., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Methodist, Age : 28, City : Nashville, State : TN Country : United States, Occupation : Real Estate, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #13994

    V.L.
    Member
    Three years is a long time to date someone and not meet their family. Unfortunately, some black families can be as prejudiced as anyone else. It's possible that he has the same fears you had. On the other hand, it may not about be about race at all. You should definitely talk about this.

    User Detail :  

    Name : V.L., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 26, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Admininstration, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, 
    #33773

    Wayne C.
    Member
    Three years? I assume he has at least told you about his family. Most blacks (not all) aren't ashamed of their family, especially not in this situation. You should just ask him 'What's up' and ask when you can meet his family. Then you can discuss any issues that may be involved.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Wayne C., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 41, City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : Marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, 
    #35562

    Tonya
    Member
    I think that you should be concerned because he might be ashamed for you to meet his family because some black families have the notion that white girls are 'trouble'. (Which is very narrow minded) Question this because it is not fair to you.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Tonya, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 17, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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