Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 7 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 20 years ago by
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I have many lesbian and gay male friends. I often hear my lesbian friends ask each other, ‘When did you become a lesbian?’ At the same time, I hear my gay friends ask, ‘When did you discover you were gay?’ This seems to infer that men are born gay and women become lesbians. To lesbians: Do you feel you were born a lesbian, or is it just a matter of preference? As a gay male, I can definitely say I was born this way.
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Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 42, City : Ben Lomand, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I can definitely say I was born a lesbian. My earliest memories involve crushes on my older sister’s friends, the fervent wish to be one of the Beatles simply because of the way girls reacted toward them (and that was around the age of two) and the innate knowledge that I was ‘different’ long before I knew there was a name for what I was, or that there were others like me. I find the phrasing of your lesbian friends’ answers as curious as you do. Many lesbians I have known (despite a lifelong inner ‘knowing’) didn’t consider themselves ‘real’ lesbians without some sort of coming-out milestone to mark the event, in much the same way that many writers, who have been writing all their lives, don’t consider themselves ‘real’ writers until they’ve been published.
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Name : J.R., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : New Age/Metaphysical, Age : 40, City : Los Altos, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Web developer-turned-artist, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I feel this is more a question of semantics. For myself and my friends, most of us will say ‘I discovered’ my sexuality. I rarely have heard of anyone saying I ‘became’ a lesbian. I have heard some gay friends say ‘I became gay at…’ Again, it could merely be an issue of semantics. Let it rest and stop reading so much into things!
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Name : Tanya D., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 29, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Higher Education, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am 15 and i am Bisexual and i believe i knew all my life but just realized that i was Bi when i was 14. So i think you are born like that.
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Name : hey!, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 16, City : hollywood, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I had a friend in college who made the very valid point: who cares? It’s okay if you were born that way, but hey – it’s also okay to CHOOSE to be a lesbian…
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Name : Hope, Gender : Female, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Religion : Jewish, Age : 38, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,It totally depends. I have known women who say they knew directly from the womb that they were lesbians, and men who ‘became’ gay. Myself, I was asexual until I hit college, then I was compulsively straight, then when I relaxed, I realized how much I love women. So I’ve run the gamut. A lot of the ‘becoming’ thing is really breaking the shell that our society constructs for us, and that ‘takes’ better on some people than others.
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Name : Kerry, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 32, City : Ventura, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Stagehand, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,In reality you are not born that way. I beleieve that God created us all and to one day be like his son Jesus. You have just been tricked by the devil at an early age because it cleary states in the Bible that men being with men (same for women) is blasphemy in the sight of God in which leads to eternal damnation. What satisfaction could you possibly get rubbing up against a male when you are a male? None. You are confused and I pray that you turn away from this wicked trap that the devil has made for you. God Bless.Jesus still loves you.
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Name : Erica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 20, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class,I don’t have a simple answer to your question as I am not completely convinced that homosexuality is neo-natally determined. However I am sure that my own sexual orientation was established at a very young age; somewhere probably around toddlerhood. I think the lesbians to whom you refer are girls of underdeveloped identity who ‘decided to become gay’ in response to Western society’s obsession with lesbian sex. This pseudo-transformation is not necessarily a conscious decision and I feel really troubled by this ‘gay fad.’ What happens when these girls mature and are in and out of empty same-sex relationships? They will ultimately come to terms with their straight identity and forever associate homosexuals with hedonistic pleasure. I believe that men almost have an advantage then for society doesn’t subconsciously instill in them a prurient lust for unnatural attractions.
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Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Protestant, Age : 18, City : Chicago, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class,
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