[On Edge]

I have many black friends who are quite comfortable making harmless race-based jokes and comments. (For example, they joke about hair and about dating white guys.) I'd like to join in but I'm scared to death of saying something stupid.

I'm white and was raised in an extremely racist family, which I fought my entire childhood. To this day I'm on edge when race is introduced into the conversation. Is it OK for me, a white guy, to make racial (not racist) jokes, as long as they're not disrespectful? Where's the boundary? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

User Detail :  

Name : On Edge, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : spiritualist, Age : 30, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : entrepreneur, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, 

[Harron]

Because you feel uncomfortbale about possibly offending someone, it would be better if you kept quiet. I personally do not deal in ethnic jokes or blonde jokes or sexist jokes because I feel it is wrong to make fun of any group of people based on a trait over which they have no control. It leads to stereotyping. If the joke has to do with personal behavior that will not be attributed to race or gender or ethnicity, then you may be better equipped to join in. Either way, follow your gut and avoid offending anyone.

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Name : Harron, City : Bellevue, State : NE Country : United States, 

[Amanda31504]

What kind of jokes about race can be harmless and not disrespectful? No, that's not OK. Don't try to "join in" on stupidity.

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Name : Amanda31504, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 19, City : New Orleans, State : LA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Andrew]

No matter who's making the racial jokes, I don't see anything to gain by joining in. The potential for misstepping is great as it's virtually impossible to know with different people what's acceptable and what's not. Laugh at their jokes if you feel comfortable and if they're funny. I wouldn't go any further.

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Name : Andrew, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 35, City : Huntington, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Reporter, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Samuel]

The answer would depend on how close you are to your black friends, and how well you respect and value each others' feelings. If you explain to your friends the nature of your unease with racial topics, perhaps this will not only help ease the tension for you, but create a greater understanding between all of you. Under these circumstances, you'll probably find your comfort zone. However, if you're not dealing with people with whom you can share this depth of feeling, it is perhaps best to avoid getting too close to racial discussions until you feel more comfortable.

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Name : Samuel, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 31, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Firefighter, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[g.]

I have plans for law school as I complete my undergraduate degree. I have many wonderful white friends and associates whom I love talking and laughing with. However, because I am not white, I always stay of out of 'white people's jokes.' I can not possibly offer what they can, ESPECIALLY 'red neck' and 'dumb blonde' jokes.

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Name : g., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : college student/mom/wife, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Grant]

I feel if you feel you feel unconfortable to join in on some jokes about another race even though you may mean well, It would be better to just laugh along than to laugh alone. I am black and have worked in many white collar workers that was trieing to be friendly and give a joke thinking it was alright but to me I never made a joke nor was I asked if a joke like this would offend me, If I were asked I would have tactfully said I do not practice such jokes and left it to that. Now they know were the line is

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Name : Grant, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 37, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Electronic Engineer, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Fuzzy]

The fact that your friends make these jokes around you suggests to me that they like and trust you as a human being. I think you should tell them about your background and your uneasiness, and then take your cue from their responses. It's quite likely they will help you feel more comfortable about racial conversations in general. Humor is tricky, though - you might want to 'work your way up' to racial jokes. I have had co-workers or neighbors tell me, 'I've never known any Black people' or 'My father was in the K.K.K.'. It meant a lot to me that they were willing to tell me, rather than pretend that race didn't exist for them.

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Name : Fuzzy, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

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