My son is 16 and has been friends with a another kid on our block since he was about nine. Shortly after they met, I walked by my son's bedroom, heard giggling, and took a peak through the cracked open door and saw them both stripped naked playing with each other's genitalia. I laughed it off and said nothing to the boys (after all, I did the same with my best friend at that age). They've been having very frequent sleepovers lately at our house. They retreat to my son's room and are pretty quiet in there, enough so to raise my suspicions on what they are up to. A couple of times I've listened at the door and could hear highly sexual conversations going on along with occasional grunts and moans. The other night I snuck a peak through the door lock (old-fashioned skeleton key) and saw them stripped naked and engaged in oral sex. I quit that behavior at about age 14 (experimenting with my other male friends - and, yes, we did about everything). Should I let things be or have a talk with the boy about this behavior (we've already had 'the' talk)?
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Name : Jon27116, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Diabetes, Race : Other Pacific Islander, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 38, City : Seaside, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Mechanic, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class, It sounds like your son is either gay or bisexual. I, like you, experimented sexually with other boys when I was a young teen. There came a point, though, when my friends didn't want to do it anymore but I sure did. I had experimented sexually with a few girls as well, but was not one bit aroused by it and could only achieve orgasm by masturbating myself while doing it. About this time I began to wonder if I was gay. Does your son have any girlfriends or does he show any interest in girls? If not, chances are he is gay. I suggest you contact your local PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays) and join in for a meeting or two. Tell the group your story and you'll undoubtedly hear alot of 'been there already's'. Listen to how they dealt or are dealing with the issue then have a talk to your son. Above all, don't ignore the issue and go into denial like my parents did when my mother walked in on me and another kid from my school getting hot and heavy in bed when I was 16. That caused a ton of hurt up until the time I finally came out of the closet.
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Name : Mike, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 42, City : Ben Lomand, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, i think you should just leave them alone unless your REALLY troubled by what they are up to. you'll probably embarass the shit out of him if you confront him on the issue, but you could discuss the gay issue if you really feel like it. 'boys will be boys'.
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Name : Chris, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Religion : Christian, Age : 21, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, You should definitely talk to him, but in a non-accusatory way. You should use it as an opportunity to gain his trust, foster open communication, and educate him about safe sex. The truth is most 16 year old experiment with sex, straight or gay. If he really is not gay, he will stop. If he is gay, he will continue, regardless of what you say.
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Name : Rashid, Gender : M, Race : mixed race, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Whether your son is gay or just 'going through a phase' as you did, he needs more than just 'the talk' about sex. He needs to know about the dangers of engaging in risky behaviors and how to avoid them. But he needs to hear these things in a non-hostile way or he will reject the advice and could end up hurting himself. If you think you are able to give him advice without appearing hostile or condemning him, then you should let him know about the possible ramifications of unprotected sex, sex with strangers, etc. If the possibility of him being gay is too disturbing to you, you might want to find someone else who can help your son without scaring him away (say, a therapist who will not focus on orientation so much as behavior). In my opinion your son is too old for this behavior to be considered 'fooling around' and too young to be engaging in it regularly, no matter whether it is with a boy or a girl. I definitely would not let this go, but would handle it the same way whether his sexual partner was a boy or a girl.
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Name : James D., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 47, City : Summit, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, when u saw him plying with the boy genital u should have said something. some of this is partly ur fault.
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Name : jonathan, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : very very straight, Race : Black/African American, City : atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Social class : Lower class, The only way to talk to him is to know his reason. Ask him why he did what he did and take it from there. Talk to him the 16 year old way. But, would you be mad if he was gay? If so, talk to him about Britney Spears or some other girl. If you do exsept him that way, tell him to do that when he gets 18. email me at oteliecwg@aol.com
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Name : Christ-to-da-Mist32223, City : detroit, State : MI Country : United States, So, you did that kind of stuff when you were little but stopped at 14. Your son is 16 and he's still doing it. So what? Are you telling us that the right age to stop experimenting is 14 just because that is when you stopped? I think each person is different, so we shouldn't set a rule concerning 'the right age' to stop doing that. He'll stop when he doesn't feel like doing it anymore. And, man, he's 16! Do you remember how horny you were at that age? I was out of my mind trying to get some. On the other hand, you have to start thinking that he might be gay. As you know, anybody can be gay, including your son. Then, I wouldn't just talk about experimentation, per se, but about your son living his sexuality. I think that you're quite concerned with your son's sexual orientation. You don't want him to be gay. You used to regard what he did as something children do. Now that he's older, you view it as something homosexuals do. Don't worry about it. If he's gay, he's growing up in a society that is much more open than the society you and I grew up in, so he won't face as much discrimination (I know that's something parents are concerned about). But understand that he might as well be as straight as an arrow. We just don't know. I am gay, nevertheless I never did anything like what you describe in your post until I reached 18, unfortunately for me. My advice is that you stop peeking through the door lock. People need some privacy.
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Name : David Teijeira, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Don't even know, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : La Coruña, State : NA Country : Spain, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, It could just be a phase, but more likely, your son might have intrest in other guys. You should approch him about it, not to scare him, or try to get him to be straight, but to make sure he is being safe about it. 'The Talk' isn't good enough, sexual education should be an ongoing dialouge, if you can't answer his question, point him to some resources so he can.
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Name : James20898, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 17, City : Winnipeg, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Sorry to say, but this is not a phase. I think your son has made a choice of what sex he prefers, and every time he engages in sex he is reconfimeing that. It seems you're pretty OK with this because you don't approach your son or tell him you know what he's doing. Please, I beg of you, do not antagonize your son and make him feel bad for 'what he is.' Talk to him enough so he feels comfortable to come out of the closet with you. Remember, if you antagonize him, your relationship will only get worse. Tell him that it's OK, and that it might take you a little while to get used to him being 'gay' or 'bi,' but you will love him no matter what.
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Name : Josh, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 15, City : Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, I hate to say this, but maybe he's gay? I don't know your opinions on this matter, so I hope I don't offend you. Does he have a girlfriend? Or is interested in girls? Maybe he is just bisexual. I think pretty much at the age of 16, if you are doing acts like that, then you aren't just 'experimenting.' Maybe you should talk to him. To me, it sounds like you are uncomfortable with it. From my perspective, yes, it would come as a shock, but it happens. But if you forbid him, then he may resent you in the future.
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Name : Angela, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 18, City : Troutman, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : mother, Social class : Lower middle class, Is he too old for what? He clearly knows and is reacting to what turns him on. Your son is gay or at the very least bisexual. Your question of if you should talk to him... Yes, about safe sex, and how you love him for who and what he is.
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Name : Holli, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : caucasian/hispanic, Age : 33, City : Post Falls, State : ID Country : United States, Occupation : self-employeed, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Upper middle class, I think your son likes boys. he could be gay or bi. you should support him. I don't know your feelings as a parent but I know when I was his age my mother let me have protection but didn't want her house to be my 'hump-pad'. maybe it's best if you speak to him about where's he's intimate (so all parents-including his partner's are content and about protection.
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Name : Dina M., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : unsure, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Poet, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, I think it's important for you to remember that your son is at a crucial age where he is developing his own sense-of-self and therefore his own sexuality. Although he finds engaging in erotic activity with another boy stimulating, it is not a definite indication of his sexuality. Many people will hesitate to reveal that they're not so sure of the concreteness of their own sexual orientation -- that an attraction solely to one sex could completely change on a seemingly spontaneous incident -- and therefore, without reliable research to back up any individuals' claim to homo or heterosexuality, it is safe to assume that sexual orientation in and of itself is fluid. In regard to your son, if this behavior bothers you on a moral level I would encourage you to talk openly with him about this behavior, your fears and expectations, and what kind of man he sees himself becoming.
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Name : Jessica, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Protestant, Age : 18, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Upper middle class, I Played with my friend from 16 to 18 , then my friend went off and got a girlfriend and I stayed with the same sex. Your son is experimenting is all. This is not set in stone. But you should talk to him by opening with. ' I'V DONE THIS MYSELF' This would stop any fears or thoughts of avoiding the topic from you. What else is a Father for If Not to speak openly with your own flesh and blood! Talk more on the lines of Using a CONDOM ! Gay or NOT AIDS is REAL. you will feel horrible if your son tells you he has HIV. If this is his first friend be sure there will be others, and nobody knows how many friends that friend has had! Experimenting with sex is like waiting out in the open for a mosquito with west nile virus to come and Bite! Having the Talk is just the book of context. He's 16 not a scholar on sex and the terrors of deseases.
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Name : Paul Sanz, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Gay, Religion : Christian, Age : 40, City : Akron, State : OH Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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