Is he gay?

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  • #7006

    Nicole
    Participant
    I met this guy who seems to be really nice. However, some of the statements he's made make me wonder if he's gay. For instance, he says that he shaves his legs and even knows about exfoliation (and he's not a swimmer), he wears body glitter out to the clubs and the majority of his friends are girls - I think. He also told me that he doesn't like oral sex to be performed on him. I asked him if he 1) had an unpleasurable experience or 2) is he embarassed for someone to 'go down there.' He said, 'No.' I don't understand that. He's a man, and men love it. He seems to be really in touch with his feelings, and he thinks I'm 'the one' he's going to marry. (I don't know how he could think that after knowing me only since Thanksgiving.) But honestly, the shaving of the legs and the body glitter really have me wondering about his sexual orientation. I have asked him plainly, 'Are you gay?' And he replied, 'No.' So I asked him if he was bisexual now or in the past, or wants to be in the future. He said, 'No.' I don't know if I should trust his answer. What do others think?

    User Detail :  

    Name : Nicole, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black and white, Religion : Christian, Age : 22, City : Portsmouth, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Data Analyst, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #19024

    Priscilla30264
    Participant
    The question is: how will you react if you find he is gay? I suppose at least you're thinking about it, which is good. It wouldn't even occur to some people. Still, if he thinks you are going to react in a homophobic way, he would be reluctant to tell you anything. If you are sympathetic, say so. If not, it is you who has the problem, not him.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Priscilla30264, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #42943

    Daniel
    Participant
    I suspect that perhaps you are looking at your friend too closely through the lens of the country's stereotype of what a 'gay' man should be like. There are gay men who in no way match the stereotypes or qualities your friend possesses. Therefore, the reverse could be true, and your friend could be, in fact, straight as an arrow.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Daniel, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Buddhist, Age : 25, City : Berlin, State : NA Country : Germany, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 
    #14750
    He may not think he is gay but he sounds gay to me. But I wouldn't say for sure either way, only he can decide that. I wouldn't make any long term plans though, you may be disappointed later when he decides he really is gay. The oral sex thing is ridiculous though, not every man in the world enjoys having oral sex done on him. Nor does every woman.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Cynthia Wilson, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 38, City : Denver, State : CO Country : United States, Occupation : programmer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
    #38457

    Heather21483
    Participant
    I think you should let him go. I have had a similiar experience with a guy that I had some suspicions of whether he was straight or not. It's not that he's a bad person but what if you decide to let it go and then you get married. A few years down the road you have a kid or more and then he tells you he's gay. What then? I had to let the guy go that I was dating beucase that was to much for me to deal with. You say your a christian so just let God lead you. There will be peace in the right decision. You will know what to do but really consider all the facts. There is probably a reason why you are questioning this already.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Heather21483, City : hooterville, State : CA Country : United States, 
    #30521

    Hero21312
    Participant
    I think you may be being a little stereotypical. Just because he is a man doesn't mean he necessarily likes oral sex. And he is not necessarily gay/bisexual just because he wears body glitter and shaves his legs. And thirdly, if you really like him, will it matter to you about these characteristics? If you like him and he likes you does it matter if he 'could be' gay.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Hero21312, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : To be honest, I have no idea, Religion : Atheist, Age : 16, City : Aberdeen, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, 
    #38498

    Isaac
    Member
    Hell, I fit more stereotypes than half the gay men I know, and provide a lot of confusion, but apart from a moment or two of honest introspection about my place on the Kinsey Scale, I'm straight. I know about exfoliation, too. I make my own soap, I know how to do interior decorating, have chenille throws all over my house, like Madonna, etc. It happens. He could be, but it happens. Can't say I shave, though...makes you itch too much when it grows back.

    User Detail :  

    Name : Isaac, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : mostly straight, Age : 23, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : difficult to explain, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 
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