Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 17 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 7 months ago by
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I am a standup comic and often meet with many white couples after shows, and we laugh and talk about the show. But it never fails that every white man makes a comment about me being attracted to his wife, or vice versa. Why are so many white men insecure around black men, or is this something white men also do to each other?
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Name : Cee Why, Gender : M, Religion : Secular Humanist, Age : 30, City : Hamden, State : CT, Country : United States, Occupation : Realist, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I asked my white male, 31-year-old co-worker what he thought about this, and he said it sounded strange to him, too. He said these people are probably swingers and trying to subtly proposition you.
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Name : JustMe, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 27, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United Kingdom, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Perhaps it is not an issue of insecurity but rather a fetish. For whatever reason, many white men have a fantasy of seeing their wives ‘taken’ by a black man. It is entirely possible the men in these couples you speak to may be simply testing the waters to gauge your interest, or prodding along their own little fantasy in their imaginations.
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Name : David S., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Columbia, State : SC, Country : United States,I d’nno, but why don’t you bring it up as part of one of your jokes?
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Name : John29206, Gender : M, City : Rockland County, State : NY, Country : United States,I’ve seen many stand-up comedians. Is part of your stand-up comedy act to tell these women how hot they are? Even if it’s a joke, and all part of the act, guys generally don’t take too well to guys who hit on their wife/girlfriend. You’re a guy, you should know this.
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Name : Taz, Gender : M, Age : 33, City : Detroit, State : MI, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,When it comes down to one person getting consistantly similar feedback from a range of different people, it is more probable that that person is doing something to provoke a reaction. Are you perhaps attracted to white women and more flirtatious with them? Or is it that you think white men are insecure, want to validate your belief, and flirt with their wives?
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Name : Rob29711, Gender : M, Age : 19, City : Toronto, State : NA, Country : Canada, Social class : Middle class,i have been accused of sleeping with black men by others. i can tell you that a male who is white and racist feels that a white female who has had sex with a black man is soiled. don’t ask me how they get it in their heads but this is how it is where i live. to me it is an assumption of the race itself. i believe we can all live without assumptions. and as far as we have come in the U.S. people still have those assumptions. kinda sad.
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Name : susan-L, City : amarillo, State : TX, Country : United States,It’s a little discussed fetish that some white men have where they want to see their wives taken by stand-up comedians. Fantasies usually involve brick walls, stools, and bottled water.
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Name : Peekay, City : Laramie, State : WY, Country : United States,I can’t wait for the responses to this. That happens to me a lot. One of the manny times, I was skiing in Canada and a woman stopped and started talking to me, said that they were there from Hawaii… When her husband came by, he stopped down the trail a bit and GLARED at us until she went over. I know that some black men DO have an unhealthy ‘obsession’ towards white women, but I also think that plenty of white men ahve some strange ‘obsession’ towards black men. I’ll leave you to ponder THAT one.
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Name : Nathan20142, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Maybe you’re just very handsome!! hahaha. I’ve dated all races but never experienced this with white guys (or any other) and I’m a pretty decent looking chick!
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Name : Jay31342, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,Being that you are a stand up comedian, you are in a unique spot to have a variety of ethnicities open up to you about a number of topics I am assuming. I have found that black culture, on a whole, is more open to the topic of sexuality than whites are used to. That being said, some may find the approaches to women by black men stronger than they may approach the same woman. It’s not necessarily an insecurity, but a simple cultural difference.
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Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Non Religious, Age : 28, City : Bay Shore, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,These responses blaming fetishes and the like seem pretty far fetched. I have several thoughts: 1. I think there is a bit of insecurity in most men. We know how we react to beautiful women. Why would it be unusual to feel threatened by someone we thought might be more desirable to our partners? 2. I know my response to the thought of something new or exotic. Why wouldn’t I get a little freaky if I thought my partner might be attracted to what would be for her a new experience – a black man? 3. Then again, maybe it’s just the unusual situation you are in. Not only are you black but you are someone who just made her laugh and might be (or might SEEM to be) famous or wealthy or both. 4. Finally, most people don’t go talk to a performer after a show. Maybe all you are seeing is an odd subset of the population!
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Name : jeff31179, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 46, City : bloomington, State : IL, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,In Australia there is a running myth about how black men are meant to be extremely well endowed – although it has been proven that genital size is not related to race, people love to believe it. These men might be quite insecure, because there is also a culture of white women who say they love black men. They are probably more scared about their partners finding YOU attractive!! But then, you could of course just be an individual who sends out flirty signals without realising. i know many people who have got themselves into bad situations because of that!!
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Name : keri, Gender : F, Race : Asian, Age : 20, City : perth, State : WA, Country : Australia, Education level : 2 Years of College,I think other races in general view black males as being hypermasculine, and thus feel insecure about their own masculinity when around them. Particularly when it comes to the idea that black men have bigger penises, which I don’t even know if it’s true or not. It goes back to old stereotypes about black men being overaggressive and brutish, which are traditionally masculine traits. Misguided, but old stereotypes die hard.
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Name : Ed, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Milpitas, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Me thinks this is just you being silly on the board. But it is a great comical turn. A little juvenile but so what. I doubt that white men are coming up to you and asking why you are hitting on attracted too or any other nonsene you are writting. Perhaps you just have dillusions of grandeur.
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Name : Richard D. Lee, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, City : Atlanta, State : GA, Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,
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