[ME]

I think a gay/lesbian couple should be able to adopt a child. What do others think? Why or why not?

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Name : ME, Gender : F, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Age : 37, City : PTV, State : CA, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, 

[Cay]

Judging from the homosexual friends I have, they’d make perfect parents: they’re sensitive, caring, loving, honest and open-minded. Definitely better than mine, who got divorced years ago and who were nothing like that.

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Name : Cay, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Catholic, City : Hong Kong, State : NA, Country : China, Education level : 4 Years of College, 

[Rhiannon]

I speak not from experience (I’d love to hear what people from rainbow families have to say about this), but from strong conviction. I absolutely think that gay couples should be able to adopt children. I believe that having children is a basic human right, and to deny gay people this right is inhumane. I understand the objection that the kids might be the brunt of harassment to some degree. However, if more gay couples do adopt children, the stigma will go away. I’m sure it might be difficult sometimes for a child in that situation, but I believe children are served well by parents who stand up for what they believe in. I also think it’s bogus that kids need parents of different genders. A child is lucky to have two loving, committed parents.

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Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 29, City : Eden Prairie, State : MN, Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Social class : Middle class, 

[AD]

There is a whole pile of social research on gay and lesbian parents and their kids. There are studies that investigate whether gay parents give their children moral guidance (yes) and whether they are more likely to be abusive (no), whether gay mothers let children see their fathers (yes, more so than straight mothers), and whether children of gay parents are more likely to be gay (no). Taken as a whole, it demonstrates that children are no better or worse for having gay parents. Kids who are available for adoption are kids who need homes. Gay parents provide homes just as well as straight parents. Therefore, in my opinion, both gay parents and straight parents should be allowed to adopt.

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Name : AD, City : Philadelphia, State : PA, Country : United States, 

[Lynne G.]

Homosexuals should not be allowed to adopt children. Children are vulnerable and susceptible to influences from all areas of their lives. Because homosexuals have decided to allow their sex life to take predominance in their lives, that automatically makes them unfit as parents. Children who are to grow mentally sound and fit will never be able to do so in a homosexual household because they, too, will become as preoccupied with sex as these parents are. I do feel that homosexuals who have children should be allowed to see them, as long as there is another parent who is heterosexual and can guide and lead them into a young life where sex is not the most important factor of who they are to become.

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Name : Lynne G., City : Jacksonville, State : FL, Country : United States, 

[Kentraco]

To the person responding above: What makes you think that homosexual couples are any more ‘preoccupied with sex’ than heterosexual couples are?

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Name : Kentraco, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 58, City : Orlando, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Water Treatment, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Priscilla30255]

‘Because homosexuals have decided to allow their sex life to take predominance in their lives…’? Who is to say that homosexuals are any different from heterosexuals in that respect? That rationale demonstrates prejudice. It does not provide any reason at all.

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Name : Priscilla30255, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Sydney, State : NA, Country : Australia, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[N.J. Smith]

I know of some fine homosexual couples who are good and decent parents. Their children generally grow up more tolerant and less bigoted. In response to Lynn: Where did you get the idea that homosexuals are preoccupied with sex? We are (again, generally speaking) not much different from heterosexuals, except that we are attracted to members of the same sex. My life is well-rounded. I am a productive member of my community, trusted by friends and co-workers, in a loving relationship, and hoping to be able to have that relationship recognized legally someday. But it’s not all about sex. I just happened to fall in love with another woman. My sex life isn’t anyone else’s business, and those who think it is are likely to be preoccupied with sex and not fit to judge.

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Name : N.J. Smith, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 45, City : Butler, State : PA, Country : United States, Occupation : Laborer, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, 

[Carrie]

The idea that lesbian/gay parents will try to ‘make’ their children share their sexual orientation has been disproven by research. There are many children waiting to be adopted, and the idea that it is better for them to live in institutions or move around from foster home to foster home than for them to be adopted into a loving lesbian or gay family seems terribly wrongheaded to me.

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Name : Carrie, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, City : Milwaukee, State : WI, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Anonymous]

I would say that while I don’t think homosexuals’ sex lives take precedence in their lives, their sexuality, or the fact that they are homosexual, does take precedence in their lives. By this I mean that they seem to be adamant that they are gay first, then they are some other adjective, such as male/female, white/black, American, etc. I don’t mean to put words in Lynn’s mouth, but perhaps this is what she meant.

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Name : Anonymous, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Age : 42, City : Louisville, State : KY, Country : United States, 

[Melissa20770]

I don’t think that gay people are unfit parents. BUT… I do think that it’s somewhat cruel to bring a child into that picture, simply because other kids are so mean. Sure, it’s the year 2000, but everyone is NOT all accepting and loving their fellow men just yet.

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Name : Melissa20770, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Montgomery, State : AL, Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Daña A.]

Determinations about gay men and lesbians’ ability to adopt children should be made on the same basis as determinations about heterosexuals: Are they fit to be parents? Can they provide and care for the child or children they wish to adopt? Because many gay men and lesbians remain closeted, people unfamiliar with gay men and lesbians may not realize that the primary difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals is the nature of our attractions. Otherwise, both groups have people good and bad, poor and rich, smart and dumb, rural and city, white collar and blue collar, literate and illiterate, obsessed with sex and disinterested in sex, and so on. Decisions about adoptions should be based on fitness as parents, not on the sex of one’s life partner.

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Name : Daña A., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Wiccan, Age : 52, City : Madison, State : WI, Country : United States, Occupation : administrator, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Kathryn26639]

Clear this up for me, kids: A couple who ends up with kids after a big night of throwing-down is LESS obsessed with sex than a couple who has to make extensive plans in order to get pregnant or adopt? Further, for those of y’all who are worried about the aptitude with which we queers parent, check out http://www.apa.org/pi/parent.html#I.%20SUMMARY%20OF%20RESEARCH%20FINDINGS . I don’t know that I believe we’re better parents, but we’re at least as good.

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Name : Kathryn26639, Gender : F, City : Roanoke, State : VA, Country : United States, 

[KR]

While this will sound overtly discriminatory (that’s not the intent), I don’t believe gay couples should have the right to adopt children simply because they have chosen to remove themselves from the gene pool. There is no way a gay couple can reproduce human life — that’s a biologically indisputed fact. And they have made a conscious choice not to do so. Just like a heterosexual man or woman who undergoes an operation to prevent having children, gay couples have chosen to be in a relationship that will simply not bear the fruit of life. So why should they deserve the right to adopt children if they have willingly decided to spend their lives with someone whom they physically can’t have them with? It doesn’t make sense and it isn’t fair to hetero couples who can’t have children because of medical reasons and are on waiting lists to adopt children and give them good homes. It’s not that I don’t believe gay couples can’t be loving parents — they’re human beings and are completely capable of loving and nurturing a child. And the argument that they are preoccupied with sex is simply an ignorant statement if you look at the majority of heterosexuals in the world (most people seem to be preoccupied with sex — hetero/homosexuals are no different in that regard). What confounds me about gay couples (and correct me if I’m wrong) is that the majority of them usually take on masculine/feminine roles in the relationship. That should speak volumes to them about human nature and the way we are designed. If you’re a lesbian, why should you take on the role of a man? (And that’s not to mention the sexual arena and the use of certain aids that resemble male genetelia.) Or, likewise, if you’re a gay man, why should you assume a feminine role? It seems like a glaring contradiction to me. Don’t get me wrong — I think it’s fine to love another person, even if it’s someone of the same sex. But children need a ‘natural’ model and a healthy balance for life that only a male and female couple can offer. Otherwise, they are given a one-sided perception of the world and will never see how men and women are truly meant to complement each other in the family unit. Life is full of the balances of opposites — there’s much to be learned from them. We shouldn’t deprive children of those valuable lessons.

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Name : KR, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : West Palm Beach, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[burt b]

If one assumes that homosexuality is 30% genetic and 70% environmental, then the displayed sexuality of the parents is important to the child’s development. I pose ancient Greece where 80% of the men were interested in same sex pleasure, as the proof case.__Therefore: It is very important for children to have a male and a female role model. In the ideal case (two well adjusted parents of different sex vs. two well adjusted parents of the same sex), the traditional couple has an advantage in raising well adjusted children who can relate to both males and females well. Society has an obligation to promote an ideal, even if some people fall short. The great portion of personal growth that the parents do is because of the inherent conflict of two different sexes working out their different needs.__I have seen the argument that gays should be allowed to adopt because there are so many unadopted kids. This is silly, because there are many more straight couples that are not allowed to adopt for a number of reasons; including being of a different race from the child and the chance that the drug affected mother might one day kick the habit and be able to raise her child herself. These are the saddest cases; The drug case where the child yo-yos between foster care and the mother every other year, and the racial case where the child yo-yos between foster care families every 4 years to prevent ‘attachment’. That activists would use this argument is either naive or shows that any means are acceptable to achieve their goals.__I have seen some studies that claim there is no effect on children adopted by gays, but these studies stop after too young an age. Working thru parent caused trauma can take years and may not even be discovered until after adulthood. __One of the studies sited on the gay and lesbian page of the post below {Rees (1979)} sited in an ironic twist, that ‘children of lesbian mothers reported greater psychological femininity …This result would seem to run counter to expectations based on stereotypes of lesbians as lacking in femininity’. This misses the basic point that without role models of each sex, child development is effected. _._Where did that one post get the idea that gay women let their ex-husbands visit the children more often? These are some of the most contentious divorces and the animosity is usually taken out on the kids!

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Name : burt b, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 40, City : la, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, 

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