Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 9 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 22 years, 10 months ago by
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- I'm looking for advice on conversion. Growing up I had no religion or sense of spirituality. I guess I was 'supposed' to be Protestant or something, but I've never gone to church. After dating a Jewish man a few years back, my interest was sparked in the Jewish religion and culture. I have been exposed to religion of all kinds, but for some reason this religion called to me. I almost feel that the whole purpose of my meeting this man was solely to expose me to something that I was destined for. Ever since, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I think about it almost every day, and I honestly believe that I am supposed to be Jewish, if that makes any sense. It's a strange feeling like I've never felt, but I feel like it's almost a mistake that I wasn't born Jewish. I've read a lot about conversion, but I'm not sure if I should for a few reasons: First, I am married to someone who, like me, never grew up with religion, and I'm afraid of the reaction to my feelings. Also, I am a firm believer that if I were to convert, I would have to follow Jewish law as much as possible. I believe in the mitzvot strongly, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do all I should according to Jewish law. Obviously it's a huge lifestyle change. What if I can't do it? What if nobody understands? To remain as I am would mean that it would be OK not to celebrate Shabbat every wee and to still celebrate Christmas (a holiday I grew up with but never had a religious attachment to). I feel so confused, but I can't shake this feeling that I was meant to be Jewish. I'd like the advice of anyone who feels qualified to give it. If I feel - if I KNOW - that this is my 'calling,' is it wrong not to follow it?
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Name : Anonymous, Gender : F, Age : 26, City : Southern, State : NJ Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,I am not Jewish, so I don't have any advice about the specifics of converting to Judaism, but for that I think you should contact your local synagogue. The rabbi should be able to answer the questions that you have and direct you to reading materials that may help you. Converting would definitely be a lifestyle change. In considering any significant change such as this, you have to include your spouse. When you got married you formed a lifelong partnership, so you can no longer make these decisions by yourself. It's not just about you anymore. It would be very difficult - if not impossible - for you to convert and set up a Jewish home if your spouse does not convert. The potential problems are very serious, and increase if you have children.User Detail :
Name : Jacqueline-C21032, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 26, City : San Jose, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think God calls people in many different ways. You have already realized that you have something in you that is raising your awareness to this. Don't ignore it for fear of what anyone else will say. Explore it - you should find a local expert in the faith to talk to. He/she can answer all of your questions and perhaps advise you accordingly. I would go through the local phone book and make some calls to some local temples. I am sure there are people who would love to sit one-on-one and help.User Detail :
Name : Shannon28081, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : North, State : NJ Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College,Answering some of your questions is easy. Since you said you feel that if you are to convert, the only worthwhile conversion is an Orthodox conversion to an observant lifestyle, then the first step for advice is to contact an organization called Chabad. I think their web address is www.chabad.org. They are right up your alley. By the way, the idea that you should convert only to an observant life is not at all uncommon. Now, here's the hard part: Because you're married, discuss this clearly with your husband. Conversion to an observant life without the full, complete belief and support of your spouse is a train wreck waiting to happen. Don't try it!User Detail :
Name : Jesse-N30808, Gender : M, Religion : Jewish, Age : 41, City : Herzliya, State : NA Country : Israel, Occupation : engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College,Since you live in South Jersey (where I grew up), you are fortunate to be in the vicinity of many synagogues. Make appointments with rabbis in a few of them, and tell them what you told us. They will be happy to answer your questions and help guide you on your spiritual path, and give you information about conversion. Attend some religious services and events. For myself, rediscovering my Jewish heritage has not meant much of a 'lifestyle change,' but I am not a religious person, so you'll have to figure out for yourself how devout you want to be and how many changes you'll need to make in your life. If you can afford to do so, why not travel to Israel? I did so recently, and nothing has made me feel more Jewish.User Detail :
Name : Rhiannon, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 29, City : Eden Prairie, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : Professor, Social class : Middle class,I think converting to Judaism is a pretty good idea. I'm a Christian (non-denominational) but I just began been thinking about converting, I'm nowhere near a decision yet, though. Anyway, don't forget that there are different sects of Jews. For instance, some Jews believe in Jesus (Yeshua) as Messiah. These are called Messianic Jews. You should try to find out more about the different groups if you decide to convert. Some are 'orthodox', some are not.User Detail :
Name : Natasha, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : African-Caribbean, Religion : Christian, Age : 28, City : Capitol Heights, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : adminstrative receptionist, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,I think converting to Judaism is a pretty good idea. I'm a Christian (non-denominational) but I just began thinking about converting (I'm nowhere near a decision, though). Anyway, don't forget that there are different sects of Jews. For instance, some Jews believe in Jesus (Yeshua) as Messiah. These are called Messianic Jews. You should try to find out more about the different groups if you decide to convert. Some are Orthodox, some are not.User Detail :
Name : Natasha, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : African-Caribbean, Religion : Christian, Age : 28, City : Capitol Heights, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : adminstrative receptionist, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower middle class,I don't think observance has to be an all-or-nothing question. I know plenty of people who care deeply about being Jewish, are committed to being Jewish and to living a Jewish life but who are not Orthodox. Reform, Conservative and Reconstructionist rabbis all do conversions and will all expect different things of you in the way of observance. Talk to everyone from Chabad (this is run by the Lubavitchers, a Hasidic group) to the Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis. You may find yourself coming to some answers about whether to convert and, if so, under whose instruction. You should note that while everyone recognizes Orthodox conversions, the same is not true of conversions performed by rabbis of other denominations. On a personal, visceral level, I would have very different reactions to the idea of your not being strictly shomer shabbos (just fine) than to the idea of you celebrating Christmas (you can talk all you want about secular this and American that, it's still Christmas and it's a Christian holiday and it's not for Jews). Two more things you may want to check out: Mixed Blessings by Rachel Cowan, a book by a woman who converted to Judaism after marrying a nonobservant Jewish man. She is now a rabbi. Also, the 92nd St. Y (YMHA) in Manhattan runs an Introduction to Judaism course for, among others, people who are considering converting. If that's not convenient for you, I'll bet you can find similar courses in your area. Also, as you may already be aware, Jewish tradition says that a rabbi shouldn't accept a person for instruction for conversion until they ask three times (they're supposed to be rejected and sent on their way the first two). While you may not encounter people who take that tradition literally, if you decide you want to convert, I wouldn't be discouraged by rabbis who don't leap at the opportunity to instruct you at first. They just want to be sure you're sure.User Detail :
Name : Susan27499, Gender : F, City : New York, State : NY Country : United States,You shouldn't feel that you should observe ALL the Mitzvot at once. Start small and ease yourself (and your spouse?) into what feels comfortable. Remember, Judaism is very flexible. You can be liberal or Orthodox or whatever you feel is right for YOU. Check with a local synogogue and inquire about studying Judaism. It up to you to decide.User Detail :
Name : Mark, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 46, City : Silicon Valley, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : technical support,Have you explored your deeply-felt personal reasons for wanting this conversion? I was just like you described yourself: I strongly desired to convert, read everything I could about Judaism, and really believed I ought to have been born Jewish. In the process of self-discovery, I found out something profound and unexpected. (I'm not going to go into detail about what it was.) After finding it out, I was able to come to terms with not being Jewish. I still considered converting but it was no longer an all-consuming need like it had been. It was a tremendous piece of self-insight, and if I'm not mistaken, I bet you'll come across something like it yourself. When you do, please remember you're not the only one. Lots of others are walking the same path, and can be found online or in real life if you know who to ask. Remember to listen to yourself, take life slowly and nurture yourself. Sorry to others if this post sounds a bit rambling and oblique.User Detail :
Name : beenthere, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States,
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