I went through a goth stage when I was a teenager, and believe me, my uber-Christian parents were not too thrilled about it. Just reassure your parents that the way you want to dress is not a reflection of your religious beliefs, and that you probably won't dress this way for the rest of your life, but this is how you want to dress right now. Maybe you can compromise and say you'll wear something less goth when you go out with them or to family events, and only dress that way when you go out with friends or go to school. Parents are usually cool with compromising, so see how that works out for you.
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Name : Luca, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Lauderdale Lakes, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Real Estate, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, The fact is, there is no cohesive agreement as to what 'Goth' fashion represents or portrays. It is merely a style of fashion and people attribute philosophical features to it almost arbitrarily. Wear whatever you want, just tell your parents 'It's the same as wearing red, white or any other colous. It doesn't intrinsically mean anything, so stop being so close-minded and support (or at least tolerate) my new-found fashion sense!'
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Name : Peter Franks, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Taoist, Age : 18, City : Sydney, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Student, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class, Throughout history, parents have always been skeptical about their children's clothing, or taste in music. In my day, it was the Beatles, Rolling Stones and Elvis. Unfortunately, society judges us on the way we dress, act or look. Most parents assume that if a child is dressing Goth, for instance, that they are into drugs, devil worship or other things not accepted by society. My advice for parents: Ask yourself: will it matter a year from now, 5 years from now? Most times the answer is no. Ask your child what Goth means to them. Communicate. Advice for teens: Ask your parents what it means to them. Ask yourselff, Will that tattoo matter later in life? A friend of my son's got a tattoo that is obscene on his lower right arm. It has prevented him from advancing his career. Removal is extremely painful and expensive. Will the tongue piercing affect your health? Dentists will tell you that piercing of the tongue ruins tooth enamel.
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Name : Paulie, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 54, City : Manchester, State : NH Country : United States, Occupation : retired, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, My grandaughter went Goth once and found there was really nothing there but pressure from all around. It meant nothing but a lot of clothes she'd throw away soon anyhow. You don't have to jon the crowd to fit in. Be yourself. Are you the type of person who must be leered at by parents and strangers and even your friends to have people notice you? Believe that you're special and act that way, too, but in a positive manner. Being 12 is bad enough - wait 'til you're 21 and your parents tell you to leave the nest and find a job (better leave the Goth home or that may not happen). But if you just have to go Goth, play some Pop Warner football, paint your face and go kick some butt on the football field. My grandson did that and liked it. Lots of luck to you. Tell your Mom and Dad that you love them every day.
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Name : DLP, City : Jacksonville, State : FL Country : United States, I am your age and am kinda Gothic, too. My dad is a Jehovah's Witness and my mom isn't, but I am kinda a Witness too but wear Goth clothes. My dad doesn't like it but my mom is OK with it, but if you like Gothic clothes like me, wear them if you want. I do it even if I get in trouble. I don't really care. My dad makes me go to the Kingdom Hall - I like it when I get there and start thinking about it, but when I am at school I am really Gothic and evil. I have worshipped the devil before but then I go and pray to Jehovah about what I did so He can help me but if you want to be Gothic then be Gothic. You can wear black, just don't how it at church, show it at school.
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Name : Olivia24281, Gender : F, Age : 12, City : St. Louis, State : MO Country : United States, I'm speaking as a guy who was into the whole goth thing for a few years and then... well, wasn't. Spiked dog collars, long hair dyed black, skull rings... I was a full-on weirdo. Still, I don't see anything wrong with it, and I still prefer to wear gray or black rather than, say, yellow. Remember that your parents have legitimate concerns. When they read articles about teen suicides or the Columbine killers, they probably see and hear about kids that fit your description: quiet, loners, secretive... and wearing all black. I suggest a twofold approach: confront them with this ridiculous image, and switch to a mixture of dark colors and black. Personally, I developed a deep love of midnight blue and deep maroon. Just tell your parents 'Look, I know you worry, but you know me better than this. You've known me my whole life. Do you really think that a black dress means I'm going to slit my wrists or shoot a bunch of my classmates? I just like the way it looks'. Faced with how silly their presumptions are, and a little color in your wardrobe, I think they'll come around. My parents did.
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Name : Mark W. Leuthauser, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 26, City : Utica, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Social Services, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class, Just ask your parents why they feel there is a problem with it. Then whatever they say, you need to respond to them. Tell them you like the style, it suits your personality, if that's why you are dressing that way. Tell him you are no different by the clothes you wear because what you look like doesn't matter, who you are does. Tell them that you are still the same person, reliable, whatever characteristics you would describe yourself as. I am kind of going through something similar. I was an army girl for years, stopped, and now am wearing skater clothes. My parents don't get it but I just say it reflects who I am and my personality better.
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Name : nicole, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 16, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : student, People in general are uncomfortable with what they are not familiar with. This is especially true with parents. Most parents worry, sometimes obsessively, that their child has fallen under a negative influence. It seems yours have linked the Goth dress style to Satanism and delinquency. I think it would be best to talk to them. Your mom seemed initially open to the idea of your new fashion and willing to talk and compromise about it. Convince her of three things: 1) You are 12 and, while this is relatively a young age, it is the appropriate time for you to start choosing your own clothing. 2) Neither Goth subculture nor dress are linked to Satanism or anti-social behavior. There are certainly some websites you can go to that will explain the history of the core principles and cultural movement to them. 3) You are a good kid. Parents do not like to be surprised by the decisions that their children make and the way they develop. These are things that they have carefully tried to influence since the child's birth and when something unexpected comes about, they feel as if they have lost control (even if that something unexpected isn't necessarily bad). Let them into your life a little. Tell them that you are still the same person they have always known and still strive to be a good person and a good student.
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Name : Eraserhead28935, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Pittsburgh, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Lets start off by clearing the air with, I must applaud whoever originally coined the phrase 'I'm so goth I'm dead' since the actual goth scene died 5 or 600 years ago. Now, I agree with the posting titled 'Go black man!' I've worn pure black clothes since sixth grade, but the catch is just that: PURE black, no logos, nothing. Upon having someone ask why I dress like a vampire, I would retaliate with why do you dress like a billboard? It was more of a refusal to advertise, I mean really, I paid for my clothes, if they want me to advertise, they better pay me. As far as the 'individuality' and 'extreme diverse' issues go that you constantly hear of, unless you're a detail freak, yes, most goths look exactly alike. As far as a fashion statement goes, there always seems to be a lot of it, or none at all, there are no shades of gray: some of these people you can just sit and carry on a decent conversation with without having to compare clothing to first, and others are the exact opposite; these are usually the ones that use the dramatic makeup as a mask to hide their true selves behind. Honestly there's no need to hit goth clubs to compare clothing, I'll leave that to the strict church goers. And speaking of strict church goers, please understand and make it known to both of your parents that people in your age group (junior high, high school, and actually way beyond that) if you meet someone claiming to be a 'devil worshipper,' more than likely it's some idiot trying to get a shock value out of you, and/or a disgruntled Christian. I've studied Satanism in the past, it has nothing to do with 'devil worship,' it's actually a very humanistic philosophy, but I wouldn't claim to it simply because I wouldn't want to be associated with a lot of the people that do claim to it. Anyway, this probably wasn't the answer you were expecting, it took my parents YEARS to accept my pure black clothes. It got so bad, when they would say something, I would simply ignore them, not to be 'rebellious' but I felt no matter what I said, it was the wrong answer, and I was just opening the floodgate. It will take effort.
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Name : Joe, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 23, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : I.T., Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, Tell your Mom to get a camera to take pictures of you in your outfit so that when you have matured she can show you how utterly stupid you looked as a child.
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Name : Therocdoc, City : Aurora, State : CO Country : United States, The gothic lifestlye/subculture is not what the public thinks it is. It isn't about buying all of your clothes at Hot Topic or boys wearing eyeliner. It is about a certain mindset. What are you considering 'Goth'? A tshirt with 'The Crow' is nowhere close to being gothic, it's just trendy. Are you having them buy you bondage pants? Not gothic, either. That is BDSM, a sexual subculture. Just because it is sold at Hot Topic does not mean its 'gothic'. It's all in the mind. You can be gothic without dressing the part. Do like others suggested: try researching the lifestyle.
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Name : Kimberly, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Knoxville, State : TN Country : United States, Social class : Middle class, Look, you're only 12 years old, all these people on here responding like you have actual rights are missing the main point. You live in your folks' house, they feed, clothe, protect, house, school and nourish you, so it's their rules. Period. Get used to it. When you're old and married and have a 12-year-old I 100 percent guarantee you'll say the same things to your kid, if they're trying to go against your rules. If it wasn't for your parents, you'd be dead. You got to pick your battles -- that means don't fight about unimportant things, choose to struggle only for things that really matter. Being goth is retarded, trust me. I'm old school and used to hang around many goths, the Bauhaus/Siouxsie/Fields of the Nephilim scene, all they want to do is be depressed, be pale, be uninspired and be stoned. Pick a scene where people actually want to DO something, and not just play dress-up, and you'll meet a whole lot better group of people.
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Name : Sker, City : Tulsa, State : OK Country : United States, I went through the whole goth phase too, and had a lot of fun with it. Try to explain to your parents that it's just a phase you're going through, that it doesn't define what your actions are going to be.
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Name : Sarah, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 22, City : Winchester, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Look at it this way...As you form an image of who you are and where you are going, your parents have long since done this. As adults it is easy for us to get set in our opinions, and try to shape others as we go. Your clothes, you feelings about them, and the image that you are trying to present must be alarming or frightening to them, therefore they are putting their foot down. Instant reaction. Try, as others have suggested, to meet them halfway on this, let them warm up to it (if they can) or at least let them see that you are who they think you are...not what your clothes are expressing; dark, black, and other ideas associated with types of clothing. WE all know that the book is not known by its cover, but it is your job to lead them into that book/image, so they know and understand where you are coming from. It is a pretty noticeable form of dress, and many people have reactions to it. Just let them warm up to it and get their feet on the ground with where you are going and who you are. Think about what and why they might be reacting.
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Name : Hap, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 43, City : Atlanta, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Public Relations, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, Dear Goth, First, you need to truly decide what Gothic means to you before you can convince others of its value. Second, this is one of the many life lesson: never do anything that you can not defend. You are young and still defining your world, try to share with your parents the postive connections you have with Goth and how its influence can bring out a postive outcome.
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Name : cjuste, City : Miami, State : FL Country : United States, 
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