I'm a grandpa, but though its hard to believe I was once a clothes rebel too, so I know how you feel. Maybe if you could sit down with your Pa and try to explain why you like black it might help. The Columbine tragedy made many parents leery about Gothic, but my own son wore it without any problem, because we were able to talk without yelling at each other.
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Name : Gordon Taylor, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 73, City : Windsor Locks, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : retired, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Middle class, Back in the '80's, I used to have the spiky-headed punk look. Strangers would pick fights with me, someone tried to run me over while I crossed the street. You gotta realize that you're gonna be hated by people who don't even know you. It doesn't make them evil-just ignorant. Your parents are merely culture-shocked. Go back to normal for now-or at least keep it toned down a lot, then slowly ease back into the goth look over a period of about 6 months. If you wanna irritate your parents, go to the other extreme and wear a suit and tie... always-even when you sleep. But seriously, I wouldn't push too hard on this issue. You can dress however you want when you move out.
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Name : Marshall Keith, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : NA, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 50, City : Walkersville, State : MD Country : United States, Occupation : musician, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, Goth does not equate to Satanism. Many of the symbols associated with Goth are from a Pagan foundation and were subsequently redefined by Christian religion as their own, but given Satanic meaning. Hence, your parents' confusion. More recent events like the Columbine massacre have also been misassociated with Goth. There are segments of the neo-Goth culture that follow a different set of beliefs than what was originally considered the ancient Goth culture. Depending on your beliefs, your choice of the Goth attire might be just as connected as people who wear gang related attire, but aren't actually in a gang or follow gang behavior. No true connection, but just want the look. If it's just fashion you want, then explain that to your parents. If it's the belief system you're following, you better understand and then explain what your beliefs are to your parents.
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Name : Chaz, Gender : M, Religion : Taoist, Age : 32, City : Ames, State : IA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, I went through a lot of crazy clothing/piercing/hair-dying trends when I was a teenager, starting around the same age you are now. Explain to your parents that you feel this is an important part of growing up for you (and all kids) - expressing your creativity and individuality - but that it's harmless and doesn't mean you've changed your core values inside (goth does not equal devil worshiper). Teenagers go through many stages to find out who they are - I'm still going through those stages in my 20's. But also remember that despite how mature for your age you may feel or act, your parents still see you as very young, you are very young, and so any complete rebellion is bound to be met with significant resistance. Try to ease them into your new look instead of changing everything at once.
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Name : Laura-G22966, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 23, City : Brooklyn, State : NY Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, There's a Goth Character on the TV show Navy NCIS. The individual who plays it IS Goth in Real life. That character takes some of the edge off my 'ignorance' of Goth.
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Name : Joe, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 55, City : Mesa, State : AZ Country : United States, Occupation : Steamfitter, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, Be who you are. Of course, you may be trying to find out who that is. It's OK. When you are an adult let your children explore who they are as long as they stay out of danger. And don't curse at them.
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Name : Vail, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Mutt, Religion : Atheist, Age : 40, City : Philly, State : PA Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, I noticed an interesting response from a parent, that I've heard before myself. ie: 'as long as you're in my house, you will do as I say.' I'm a parent as well, and I'd like to raise a point. That child had no choice in the matter. He did not say, 'please knock mom up in the backseat of grandad's chevy on prom night so that I can be stuck in an unhappy marraige as the cause of all of your marital acrimony for the next 18 years.' You made the decision to have children. That child is in the process of growing up. You got to dress your kid however you wanted up till now. Now, part of that decision to have a child is that he will make his own decisions, like what to wear. It's his turn, his chance to dress himself. He needs to learn to do that well before his 18th birthday. Just my opinion.
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Name : John, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Human, Religion : Omnitheist, Age : 24, City : Boynton Beach, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommuications, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class, My answer to your parents would be (I'm a parent too): One of my year 10 students (15 years old) is in foster care. He's been a minor trouble maker - nothing serious, buy always getting shouted at in class etc (by me). Recently he's become 'gothic' - mainly dying his hair black, doing his nails black, wearing eye-liner. His behaviour has improved dramatically, and he seems much calmer. He's not on drugs etc - I think he's happy he's found a 'place' for himself. He's no more a satan worshipper than anyone else in the class. If you've found a group who you like, and who like you then, as a teacher, i would encourage you to stand up for your differences - that's what i encourage all my students to do. Being a goth is a lifestyle choice - and it's a lot nicer than a lot of 'normal' options. In my experience 'normal' people are often the biggest racists, bullies etc. Good luck.
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Name : Ben Pope, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Beaudesert, State : NA Country : Australia, Occupation : Teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, You should think about what it is about the Goth style of clothing that is appealing to you and explain it to your parents. They probably believe that kids who wear Goth clothes have certain beliefs or behaviors that they don't like. Explain to them why you think Goth clothing is fashionable or interesting and that any particular style of clothing does not change who you are on the inside, nor your religious beliefs.
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Name : Jenny-M, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 32, City : Austin, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Hey, River. Speaking as more of a contemporary with your dad than you (my kids are both out of high school), you need to face the fact that he's never going to 'like' your Goth fashions (in clothing, jewelry, makeup or anything else). Dads don't. Mine didn't like long hair, and I didn't like saggy baggy clothes (on my kids, anyway). (And I also think Goth fashions are weird and stupid-looking, but that's beside the point.) So, he's not going to 'like' it (and I suspect neither is your mom). There's nothing you can tell him to change his mind. But you might be able to DO something to get them to start 'accepting' it, depending on the rest of your attitude and ability to 'go along to get along'. For example, aside from your schoolwork, do you help out around the house? Take out the trash? Help with the yard work? Do you do it without a lot of nagging and bitching (on both sides, yours and theirs)? Do you do things without being asked? You see, parents have peers, too, and they talk to other parents. And a lot of kids in the Goth scene seem to have tuned out anything good and decent (at least in their parents' view), and they certainly don't want that for you. So if they see you adopting some of the attitudes that they know have overtaken some of your peers, or if they just suspect that, then they will NEVER accept you going that route. Of course, the danger is that if you start acting 'normal' like this (being cheerful, helpful, courteous, pleasant, hard-working -- yeah, a Boy Scout), then you might also start to realize how freakish that whole Goth scene is. So that's the down side, I guess. It's a risk you'll have to take.
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Name : Chris, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 51, City : Windsor, State : CT Country : United States, Occupation : Construction Estimator, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, When I was in high school my parents attempted to dissuade me from wearing 'goth', listening to NIN and several other things associated with goth culture. Eventually, if it is that important to you, you may be able to bring your parents around to your point of view. If these clothes really make you happy and feel more yourself (as they did for me) I find it worth fighting for. I recommend that you have an honest discussion with your parents about it, listen to their arguments patiently and without losing your temper and ask the same from them. I also recommend that as a family you sit down and visit a website called http://www.religioustolerance.org/goth.htm Goth is not a religion, however many Christians (my parents included) believe goth to be associated with Satanism, this website will help dispel many myths your parents may hold about goth culture. I hope this helps. If worse comes to worse, wait til your sixteen, get a job and buy your own clothes, worked for me. Good luck and always try to be yourself!
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Name : pjhoneycutt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 24, City : Evanston, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class, My 17 year old son Nicolas has hair down to the middle of his back, skateboards, burns incense and follows Bob Marley's teachings. When I was in high school, long hair was in style and acid rock and roll was all the rage. My parents hated my looks, my friends and my music. The problem, I found out later in life, was that my grades were poor. That is what drove them crazy. The deal I made with my son was 'grades will earn you freedom.' I expect him to honor the rules, compromise when neccessary and remember to take the time to communicate. He has learned to meet me half way and he has an enviable amount of freedom. Life is a two way street and your parents are scared that your lifestyle will lead to other things. Listen to their fears and make sure that your actions don't trigger them. Get the best grades possible and eat an occasional meal with them. The atmosphere will improve, I guarentee!!
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Name : David J. Hockenberry, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Presbyterian, Age : 46, City : Dubuque, State : IA Country : United States, Occupation : CEO, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class, I'm glad that you are so open about your choices, and at such a young age you know what you like. I work in 6th, 7th and 8th grade classrooms, but when I was a teen, I too was into goth. Let me say first that there is nothing wrong with you, and that your parents are just concerned about your well-being. They may not understand why you like goth; tell them why you like it. Does it fit with your mood? Does it help you fit in with your friends? Do you have a dark side that your parents don't understand? Think about it. If you discuss it with your parents, you may want to bring up how a gothic lifestyle helps you. Do you draw gothic art, or write poetry about your problems? Showing these to your parents may help them understand that goth is good for you. Worse comes to worse, show them this reply. I was once a goth teen, but now I'm in graduate school on a scholarship that pays me $30,000 a year to go to school and help kids your age learn science. Being goth doesn't mean you'll end up a loser; quite the opposite. Many of the goth kids I knew in high school are now writers, poets, grad students, and other accomplished individuals. I also work with a PhD student who still dresses and acts goth!
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Name : Chris32152, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Good Gracious, I'm sorry your parents are unable to remember the 80's punkrockers were the original goths, I knew plently of them then and now they are attorneys doctors managers, having wonderful lives and living the American Dream. This is when you get to play dress up and be safe at twelve that way you can grow out of it and conform when you need a job (16-18) and already had your phase of being different . My mother let all of us kids be different ,It just couldn't be permanent,( piercings tattoos) we were weird once and now I am a suburban stay at home mom. enjoy your youth but no permant scarring......
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Name : dana27199, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 34, City : minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Occupation : homemaker, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper class, Personally I think the whole goth thing is kind of hypocritical. The point is to be an indivdual and not conform to what society wants you to be. But you can only be an individual if you wear the same clothes, listen to the same music, and act the same way as a certain group? I don't know maybe I'm wrong, thats just the way I percieved it, I don't know really what it truly means to be a goth, but I don't know if you do either. If your going goth just beceause you think its cool or you want to be long to a certain group you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If you've looked into it and know what it really means and decided you believe in it then good for you. Thats just my opinion, I don't think you need anyones help to be an individual. As for your parents try to explain to them your reasons for choosing goth. That your willing to listen to thier thoughts on the matter just as long they are willing to listen to yours. Listening to each other and communicating without being judgemental is the key.
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Name : Pat H., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Forestdale, State : RI Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Social class : Upper middle class, 
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