Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 69 replies, 70 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 4 months ago by
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- I'm 18 years old and my weight has always been an issue. Many people believe that overweight people are lazy and have no discipline, but that is simply not always the case. I have been active in sports since I was 12 and eat far less then many of my thin friends, but am still overweight. Many people don't give me a second glance when I walk in a room because of my weight and I have come to realize that they are the ones with the problem, not me. My weight does not stop me from persuing my life the way that I want. I have a job and go to school full-time, my weight is not a result of laziness. I think that anyone who has to put down another person has far worse problems within themselves. Obesity is not something that anyone wants, but it happens. Not always is the person who is overweight the one at fault and they should not be blamed for that. Be proud of who you are. I know that the people in my life are there because they want to be. Several of my friends are thin, but they aren't ashamed to be seen with me and love me for who I am and that's all I can ask for. People make comments to me about my weight and it used to bother me, but now I know that as long as I'm happy and healthy, I don't have a problem.
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Name : Lisa, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 18, City : Brenham, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,i'm big, nay, i'm fat. i'm now actively trying to lose weight. my only motivation for slimming down is to attract a mate. this may sound superficial, but so what. i can honestly say that i don't envision myself with an obese man and i refuse to settle, so why should my future husband have to settle for me the way i am now? if you were to be honest with yourself, you would admit that you would be fierce if you were a slimmer you. i think that fat people are disgusted by fat people. i am. i often look at other fat people and ask my friends to let me know if that's what i look like. i'm finally so disgusted that i'm doing something about it. if you are fine with your weight then live and be happy in the skin you're in. don't worry about what others have to say. otherwise, do something about it either 1) change others - confront those people who speak ill about and educate them about your issue or 2) change yourself - work out and address your deeper issues.User Detail :
Name : ane, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 23, City : houston, State : TX Country : United States, Occupation : teacher, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,as a teenager, i like to keep my apprearnace a little nice but not to the point where i'm starving. people say that just to make you feel bad and they like to see you suffer, but what they dont know is what you go through every day, i was a size 5 and went to a 9 in 5 months, my brothers starting callin me cheeseburger, beach ball and you know what, it depends who says because i know my bros where playing, but when someone says that, its because what the tv shows them, skinny is good, fat is bad, but when i call my brother fat i tell him to make him feel bad when i'm mad or dont have naything to do, but when we're palying, he knoes i dont mean it, so it depends on what and when ur sayin it.User Detail :
Name : jenny, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Atheist, Age : 16, City : unknown, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : full time student, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,You can thank the media for most of the comments you recieve. I'm 'considered' fat, but I don't believe I am. Just because I'm not the model size 2 or less portrayed in movies and magazines. Those who insult and comment should recieve their own award of 10 pounds for each evil comment. I do know the larger you are the harder it is to remove the weight. I have friends of all sizes so I hear about the different degrees of difficulty. Clothes become harder to find in current trends because fashion either A) Doesn't want their fasions seen on larger people and B) More common size more sales. This being, you have to find clothes that will 'do'. Sweat pants, tee shirts become the wardrobe-- everything affects how you feel about yourself and all that shows in your body language to others. You do have control over what you look like...to a point, and how you look determines how other people respond to you. When I was truely skinny, my tips were great. Gained some weight, tips went down. I'm still the same person but society rules that the skinnier you are the more desirable you are. I've also noticed that with women, the skinnier they are the more catty and shallow they are. Is there something to that? Give me my poundly friends anyday, at least I don't have to watch my back and I can get genuine concern anyday.User Detail :
Name : Jenna Langley, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Native American/Caucasian, Religion : Pentecostal, Age : 30, City : Winston Salem, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Bartender, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower class,There are people with medical problems, but I think that most overweight people have a 'convenience' problem. They spend most of the day sitting at a job with little or no physical activity and are then too rushed or 'tired' to either exercise or fix a proper meal. We like our fast foods and pre-packed foods too much. For example, my wife has gained 60 lbs in 1 1/2 years since she stopped working at a physically demanding job in a hardware store. She would rather watch TV than go to a gym, and can't understand that she used to get a good workout for 6-8 hours a day at the job. I think most overweight people fit into this area. There are alot of jobs that are less physically demanding nowdays and a poor diet is just too convenient.User Detail :
Name : Steve D., Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : Fayetteville, State : NC Country : United States, Occupation : Military, Education level : High School Diploma,Being an overweight person myself,I know how you feel.People tell me I'm not deadly overweight,but I feel that I am.I am a size 11 in Junior wear and I am 5'2.In High School this is not a great size to be. Sure lots of the snotty girls make fun of me,and I know that I can never be a cheerleader or run track, so I feel worthless.These are the times,though,I remind myself that i have a lot of good points.Maybe those girls don't realize that.Maybe you don't either.Being overweight or simply 'fat' is only bad if you let it get to you.To those people who make fun of you,they're just immature and have low self-esteem.Maybe they do it because they were teased when they were younger.Who knows?The important thing is that you should be happy.If you're not,then of course being overweight is like a heavy burden that you feel you can't carry.User Detail :
Name : Anna-Haley23812, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 15, City : Seattle, State : WA Country : United States, Social class : Middle class,I don't have a problem w/fat or obese people. I am a child with two parents that are big-boned. Each individual person has a right to be whatever they want to be, including a little bigger than society says they should be! Although I have never been bigger than a size 5-6, being a nurse and a daughter who has had to deal w/sickness due to obesity I would strongly suggest finding an alternative to dieting. Ask your doctor about the different types of bariatric surgeries, find the one thats right for you, and after its all over you'll see how much better you feel about yourself!I know dieting is a joke, I've watched my father try EVERY ONE OF THEM for the last 15 years.User Detail :
Name : Sonja, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 27, City : Chicago, State : IL Country : United States, Occupation : nurse, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I look at overweight people the same way as I would look at anyone. I mean some people who are overweight have a problem and cant help it, But then there are other people who are overweight because they are lazy and slobs. Those are the kinds of people I say Yuck to. You can tell whos the lazy slob and who is just overweight because of a problem or such.User Detail :
Name : Sarah28415, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 20, City : Troy, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : cna, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I suffer from blindness by a stretched retinal, dislocated lens, heart problems like MVP, curverature of the spine as well as a disease that effects the muscle system. I am about 20 pounds over weight. Hello!?!?! I am much more concern about the chronic pain I have and going blind then a couple of pounds. I guess if this weigh is your only problem, consider yourself lucky.User Detail :
Name : Jeff Cobner, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Blind and wheelchair, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 25, City : Richmond, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : College Student, Education level : Technical School, Social class : Lower class,Whoa, being a bit generous, are we? Fifty pounds is a lot of weight. Medically, physicall, and aesthetically, 15 to 20 lbs is already a lot. I agree with the rest of your response, though.User Detail :
Name : George21661, Gender : M, Race : Asian, Age : 20, City : Rochester, State : NY Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,There is no excuse for obesity. It is a choice, plain and simple. It takes a minumum of discipline and effort to stay in reasonable shape, and if someone can't take care of themselves, I would have to question if they would be able to take care of their other responsibilities. The same goes for drug addiction, alcoholism and smoking. Also, dieting is not the answer. It helps, but it won't keep the weight off. Excercise is the best and healthiest way to stay in shape. Talk to your doctor and ask for recommendations on an exercise routine, as well as a healthier diet plan.User Detail :
Name : Ken26436, Gender : M, Race : Asian, Age : 20, City : Fairfax, State : VA Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am fat and that is just too bad for everyone else. Why do people feel like someone else's size is any of their damn business anyway? Is anyone so perfect that they are in a position to judge? I may be fat, but at least I am not a mean-spirited know-it-all, like most of the people who have responded to this question.User Detail :
Name : Evil, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 28, City : Tucson, State : AZ Country : United States, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think my perception of fat people has a lot to do with how they present themselves. Honestly, I must admit that when I see a really huge person who can hardly move or breathe, I feel that they are lazy, unconcerned with their health, and if they cared more, they would do something about the weight. That said, I have seen some fat women that I think are really beautiful and some that are totally disgusting. Taking care to dress appropriately seems important. The obese ladies who go around in leggings and a long t-shirt and think they are hiding their weight are just kidding themselves. Nothing looks worse to me than a huge belly or enormous thighs bulging through a pair of thin leggings. (I'm 'average' weight, and even I would never wear leggings!) Same thing with obese men and jeans that are too tight. On the other hand, large ladies and gentlemen that dress well and carry themselves with confidence can be very attractive, and the 'fat/lazy' image fades away. Look at Camryn Manheim! I used to work with a wonderful woman who was very large, and she had such a great personality, I never thought about her size unless she brought it up. All perceptions aside, teasing someone or calling them names for being fat is dead wrong. I think the best thing for overweight people to do is just concentrate on being HEALTHY and HAPPY, and not concern themselves with being a particular size.User Detail :
Name : V.K., Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 34, City : San Francisco, State : CA Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I am a size 22 and in the past four years I have NEVER had a comment about my weight. Do I have self control? Oh yes...more than my 'thin' counterparts (my boyfriend is 6' 170lbs. and eats large portions of fast food and high fat and refined sugar/starch foods ) Why am I overweight? There are many reasons. One is genetic-the only slim person in my family has an eating disorder. Another is the fact that I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis- you know how run-down you feel when you are sick? Try LIVING with that feeling 24/7! Lazy? How I envy you who get out every day and can enjoy life! To go to the park and play with your children. My mother was often a victim of discrimination and ridicule when she was very large. I haven't had a comment made (to my face at least) since high school. Maybe it's attitude maybe I'm oblivious. I myself have never judged a person just by their weight....even when I was slim.User Detail :
Name : Natalie, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Deist, Age : 32, City : Toronto, State : NA Country : Canada, Education level : Less than High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,Jenny, when I read your question I thought about my own battle with weight. I have gone up and down the scale, and I know that family, friends and strangers can make you feel so ugly if you are fat. When I was 11, I was larger than most girls, and the boys in my neighborhood were horrible to me. As I grew up, around 15 or 16, I began to slim down, and can you believe those same jerks who teased me without mercy actually wanted to date me? I kindly reminded them that despite my change on the outside, I was the same little girl who was hurt from their words on the inside. Then I told them to go to hell. Not very nice, I know, but large people (like all people) have feelings, too.Even if or when you lose weight, you still have a self-esteem issue to deal with. I was thin, but still so afraid of how others saw me. Big or small, we have got to find a way to love ourselves.
I am still dealing with this, Jenny. You are not alone. I caught hell from everybody. It was very hard for me not to give up on myself. I have three brothers who teased me, and even my dad would give me hints when he felt I had eaten enough dinner for one night.
I am an adult now, but I have will always have thoughts that my family loves me more because I am not as fat as I used to be. As for men, they make me sick, because their words can really crush you, and I agree that they are afraid to get fat themselves, so they find an easy target. Two of my brothers are overweight now. I look at them and remember how they treated me, and then I ask God for better health and kinder words than those that were given to me.
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Name : Angela, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Washington, State : DC Country : United States, Occupation : writer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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