Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 14 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 16 years ago by
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- To gay and straight people: How many sexual partners have you been with? This includes foreplay such as oral sex. What are your thoughts on the number; whether ambivalent, positive or negative? Please include when you became sexually active and fill in as much demographic data on the response form as possible.
User Detail :
Name : PeteR, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Deist, Age : 33, City : Easton, State : PA Country : United States, Occupation : Telecommunications, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Sexual Intercourse: 2 women Sexual Foreplay: 4 women (including the two above), 1 manUser Detail :
Name : Alex29053, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Jewish, Age : 20, City : Beloit, State : WI Country : United States, Occupation : Editor, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Intercourse - 10
Foreplay only - somewhere around 15
Honestly, I wish I'd slept around more. And though I'm happily married, I regret that I didn't get a chance to be with as many women as possible. I fully believe that sex without love or commitment can be an enjoyable and positive thing. I don't lose sleep over it, though.User Detail :
Name : Paddy, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Minneapolis, State : MN Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I've only had one sexual partner of any kind. This was a girlfriend I had at the age of 23. The relationship lasted 18 months. The number of sexual partners I've had is insignificant to me. I love sex but wouldn't want to have it outside of a relationship, and I wouldn't want a relationship unless the girl was someone very special. Hence I've only had one girlfriend.User Detail :
Name : Jamie, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 26, City : Torbay, State : NA Country : United Kingdom, Occupation : designer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I'm 38 and I've been in a monogamous relationship for 10 years. Prior to that, I'd estimate I was with about 50 people, both men and women. The first time I had sex was when I was 16. I felt worse about myself when I was sleeping with all the guys because it was for the wrong reasons, and I felt used. They'd do their thing and I didn't get much out of it. With women, it was more of an equal thing, and I felt more in control. So I didn't feel bad about them - it was more of a conquest thing. I don't know if 50 is a lot or not, but I'm glad I got all of the random sex out of my system. Now I don't feel like I'm missing anything by being with one person for the rest of my life. It also makes me appreciate how much better sex is with the same person than it is with a different person all the time.User Detail :
Name : Jean, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 38, City : Orange County, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : Computers, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Intercourse: Over 20 but under 35. Not really sure since I stopped counting a long time ago when I got married. But I wish I had slept around more. I'm divorced now, but at this point I really don't want to live that lifestyle. I'd prefer to get married again and have some kids. So I would only attempt to sleep with someone that I think I'd like to be in a relationship with. Plus there's AIDs to look out for. First intercouse: I was 19 or 20.User Detail :
Name : WayneC24415, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 42, City : Parsippany, State : NJ Country : United States, Occupation : marketing, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,No sex, including 'foreplay.' I am a 'sort-of Fundementalist' Christian who believes the right thing to do is to save sex until marriage. So while I sometimes feel like I'm missing out, and sometimes wish I had somewhat different religious beliefs (hey, I might as well be honest here...), on the whole I believe it will be worthwhile in the long run. It may not be the easiest choice but I intend to stick with it.User Detail :
Name : Matt, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Oxford, State : GA Country : United States, Occupation : Engineer, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Intercourse: 4 (men). Other sexplay: 1 woman, 2 men. I first had sex at age 19 -- would have liked to have started a couple years earlier. I feel very comfortable with the number of people I've had sex with, if not some of the exact choices of when. I'm looking forward to having many more partners through the years. I enjoy long-term, loving relationships as well as more casual arrangements (anything from 'fuck buddies' to one-night stands) so long as everyone understands and is happy with the arrangement.User Detail :
Name : Lauren, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 25, City : Cambridge, State : MA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I have had... hhm, let's see: Santiago, Eddie, Jose, ... gosh, I am having trouble remembering (this is no joke)...some guy whose name I forgot, another guy whose name I forgot(Ugh, I have it at the tip of my tongue, but my memory is so bad), William, and Tim. Okay, that is like seven. I became sexually active on my sixteenth birthday, and it was a beautiful experience. Now, I cannot stand men even look at me, and I have no clue why. All I know is that I have become kinda prudish, and I'd DIE if somebody found out the truth.User Detail :
Name : Kelly, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : I'm not sure anymore, Race : Hispanic/Latino (may be any race), Religion : Christian, Age : 20, City : East Los Angeles, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower class,100+, all women. Long story short,I had a great time all the way from high school thru college, and then some. The number seems high, but the ironic thing is that I'm a pretty monogamous guy. My problem was longevity, not monogamy; I simply couldn't keep a girlfriend for very long. And in between girlfriends there was a fairly steady line meaningless hook-ups. On the positive side, I've done just about everything you can do and had a great time doing it. On the negative side, women don't want a guy who appears to 'speed date' or who can't keep a relationship going for very long. To be perfectly honest, I've found that the relationships are much more fulfilling than the one-night stands. It's hard to explain it to people who haven't been with a lot of partners, but it's not the great life it's cracked up to be (those who say it is are either lying to themselves or simply haven't matured yet). Don't misunderstand, the sex is fantastic, and there is something about a meaningless encounter that makes it have its own beauty, but to really be singular and unique you have to find that special someone. Fortunately, I met a girl who was everything I needed, and she's been the only one for a number of years now.User Detail :
Name : D, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 30, City : Houston, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,In no particular order... Men: 1 WM, 35, oral, 69, handjob. Women: 3 WF's, 20's, oral, handjobs, toys, viewed pornography together, foreplay, roleplay, vaginal sex (various positions). MTF Transexuals: 4 WF's (2 pre-op, 1 post-op, 1 partner both before and after surgery), Foreplay, watching pornography, vaginal sex, anal sex, B&D, oral, handjobs, showers together, rim job. In all cases, I am Top. I'm not concerned with the number. I became sexually active at 18, with activity coming in 'bursts', 3 months 'on', 2 months 'off', etc. Most of it was just dealing with the circumstance; either we were dating and it was a natural outgrowth of that relationship, or we just knew each other and wanted to take the edge off. How I deal with the situation is different for each. But I always make it clear my level of committment to them and whether this was a casual thing or if we were an item. Though honestly, if we were an item, that was well established before the bedroom ever became a concern. My basic 2 rules through all of them was thus: I'll never do anything to you I wouldn't want done to myself (any caveat clearly explained- I'm hairy down there, so giving me a rim job is just plain nasty and I'd never force anyone to do that to me). Also, you have the right to say 'no'. Just tell me what you like. Some girls were into degradation. Don't get it myself, but one girl was super submissive and like being called, well, not nice stuff. I wouldn't dare to do that for any amount of money, but that was the request. Some things that happen behind closed doors gets real surreal. Oh yeah, I went to an orgy once in Finland. *That* was really surreal. I'm talking with a woman- basic stuff; how was the flight, how do you like Finland, glad you could make it, etc. Only difference was her 6'8' husband is pounding her back end the entire time. No oohs and ahhs, no dirty language, nothing. Just a normal conversation while they're knocking boots. Only found one T-girl I wanted to have fun with, but she didn't dig guys. Oh well.User Detail :
Name : Craig E., Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Bisexual, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 35, City : Tampa, State : FL Country : United States, Occupation : Cust Svc. Rep, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I have been with over 100 partners, always enjoyed myself. I started having sex at 17.I'm straight,white,female, and 54 years old now. Absolutely no regrets.User Detail :
Name : T-Allara, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 54, City : pendleton, State : OR Country : United States, Occupation : service attendant train, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Middle class,I have had, let's see... intercourse with 8 guys foreplay with 16 guys I'm 20 and when I compare numbers with friends I have a lot more than most girls and sometimes more than guys. I've experimented with girls as well. A lot of people would call me a slut, but is it that bad to have a lot of partners? I look at it as living my life to the fullest and learning from my mistakes. I wouldn't change anything. Lots of people I know are all about the sex being special type thing, but I don't feel that way at all. I think it comes from having sex for the first time when I was 4.User Detail :
Name : Lauren, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : half white, half chinese, Age : 20, City : Tiburon, State : CA Country : United States, Occupation : student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,1 man - I was young and I wanted to be strait. I did love him and I thought I would marry him. 1 woman. I met her and it was like the color came on in my black and white life. We have been together for the last eight years. We have a wonderful, fun and active sex life. There have been times when I had wished I had had sex with more people, but mostly I'm glad I didn't. I have very few sexual hang-ups probably because I had so little experience to reference. I liked that it makes the people I have chosen to have sex with feel special. I like that when my partner and I go out I don't have to deal with bumping into people who I slept with before her. My other encounters are limited to heavy kissing and petting, but these are the only two people with whom I have had any oral or penetrative sex.User Detail :
Name : Dana, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Lesbian, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : Dallas, State : TX Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Sex- 2 Women Foreplay only - 1 Women I have some friends that have less than me but most are higher, some a lot higher. I find that guys have a smaller standard deviation from average than girls. I know more female virgins than males, but I also know more females that have had 10+ partners. One of my female friends just turned 19 and she has had sex with about 35 guys, and I know at least 2 girls. And yes I know these number to be true. I would say that average for my guy friends would be about 3-4 sexual partners and maybe 1-2 that they just had foreplay with. I know very few guys that have more than double that. Girls I would say have the same average but of course more variability. Average age of losing your virginity is probably 16 for girls and 18-19 for guys. I was 14User Detail :
Name : DanielPfalmer, Gender : Male, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 22, City : Fairbanks, State : AK Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,
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