Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 13 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 20 years, 6 months ago by
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Recently I found some computer discs in our home that have child pornography pictures and videos on them. I asked my husband and he said they were “spammed” to him (sent without his permission) and that he put them onto discs so they are not on our computer and therefore not able to be traced by police. He swears he is not attracted to the idea of child pornography. Still, I am nervous. I love him and do not want our marriage to end. If he’s lying, is there any way someone can get help for an attraction to child pornography?
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Name : DG31834, Gender : F, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : Pascagoula, State : MS, Country : United States,He’s lying! Why wouldn’t he just delete them? Being attracted to child pornography is a mental sickness. He needs some therapy before he starts molesting children.
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Name : Terry, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 37, City : Des Moines, State : IA, Country : United States, Education level : High School Diploma, Social class : Lower middle class,First of all, I have never heard of anyone getting child porn “spammed” to them. Not unless you are visiting child porn sites. How would they get his e-mail? Why would someone run the risk of imprisonment my accidentally sending child porn to the wrong person? And if he doesn’t like it, why didn’t he erase it rather than saving it on a disk? There’s no reason why it should be saved on a disk if there is not a reason to keep it.
Ask him to turn the stuff over to the police. Unless he is guilty of wrongdoing, he shouldn’t have any problem doing that. I hope you don’t have children with this guy. Just remember that in certain situations, it’s better to be alone. Good Luck.
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Name : Danielle, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, City : Lakehurst, State : NJ, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,I would bet my life on the fact that he is lying to you. If he was afraid of the police why would he save it? Then it would be in the house! I think it was put on disk because it would be easier to hide from you. I would also now be as concerned about his lying as his addiction to child porn. If somone is sick and needs help – that is no reason to end a marriage. If he is lying to himself and you – then there is no choice but to face-up to the fact that no one wants a dishonest husband.
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Name : Beth23188, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Christian, Age : 25, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States,He’s lying. Does he save all his spam, or only the child porn spam? If he didn’t intentionally download it, he would have erased it immediately. When I visit adult web sites, I have accidently downloaded what appears to be child porn. I immediately delete it. Not just because it’s illegal, but because it is sicking and sad. This is what a normal person would do. Your husband, on the other hand, needs help. You must confront him about this.
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Name : Scott28196, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Atheist, Age : 31, City : Brooklyn, State : NY, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College,Actually, they can be traced, anyway. And having them on disk is just as bad as having them on your computer. It’s illegal in all senses, and I would either get rid of them or your husband. How sad that he has to be attracted to things like that.
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Name : Jen30993, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Baptist, Age : 20, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,Yes, he’s lying to you. On the other hand, he may not be a child molester. I am attracted to some child porn because it reminds me of my own experiences growing up. I would never go after a child now, but we kids had a great time with each other. Ask him about his childhood experiences. But be careful, he might be having fantasies about him as an adult having sex with children.
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Name : John29317, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 41, City : Orlando, State : FL, Country : United States, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I would bet my life he is lying to you – if he was afraid of the police, why would he save it? That is stupid – then it would be in the house! I think it was put on disk because it would be easier to hide from you. It almost sounds like he is desperate and paranoid not to be found out. I would also be as concerned about his lying as his addiction to child porn. If somone is sick and needs help, that is no reason to end a marriage. If he is lying to himself and you, then there is no choice but to face up to the fact that no one wants a dishonest husband.
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Name : Nathan20143, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,Sorry D.G., but if your husband told you he was putting the photos on disks so no one could track spammed material to you, he was lying in a panic to get you off a dangerous trail. No one spams porn. No one who truly didn’t want it would put it on a disk instead of deleting it. No one with even a couple of years of computer and internet usage would believe him. It’s obvious that you truly love your husband. It’s also obvious that he didn’t expect you to catch him, and that he hopes you will believe his very flimsy and (in my humble opinion, sorry) stupid attempt to cover his tracks. I would have a very difficult and heartsore time trusting someone who lied to me like that about something so serious. I’m sorry that he’s hurt you so, and that it’s not a simple problem.
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Name : N.G., Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Agnostic, Age : 30, City : Lethbridge, State : NA, Country : Canada, Occupation : Program Director, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,You must be going through hell but I would have to agree with just about everyone who has responded. He’s lying through his teeth. All this denial is nothing more than smoke and mirrors to keep you off track. He counts on you accepting and not doubting him. As a sexual abuse survivor and a victims advocate, it’s (unfortunately) few perpetrators who quit seeking this kind of excitement. Demand that he get rid of the disks and learn how to erase the memory on your computer. This will not be the end of it if he really is attacted to child porn. He needs to examine why he would even THINK of keeping this kind of trash. Hopefully you don’t have any kids. This is NOT something you can ignore or pass off. Get to a counselor as fast as you can and drag him also. If by any chance he is telling the truth then things can be mended, but you need to know before you start a family. I’ll tell you a nasty little stat here. Most perpetrators, if they are not caught before the age of 17 in having this kind of sexual interest, go on to abuse children (if they haven’t already). And they don’t stop. Find out now and don’t take any B.S. This is an extremely serious subject.
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Name : Lindsay22722, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 49, City : San Antonio, State : TX, Country : United States, Occupation : self-employed, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper class,Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I am 99% sure that he is lying and the material is his, for all the reasons that have already been expressed. This is a very difficult time for you. If you decide you want to stay with him, you could begin by looking through the yellow pages for sexual therapists. Call each office up and ask if they offer therapy to adults who enjoy child porn. If they don’t, they may be able to refer you to someone who does.
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Name : Catharine, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Disability : Stage IV breast cancer, Race : Pacific Islander, Religion : Atheist, Age : 37, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I don’t believe him. I say talk to him again, and say that the whole issue is still making you uncomfortable. The most important thing is to speak to him without accusing him of anything, and letting him know that if he does have a predaliction for child porn, that you’ll help him deal with it and not treat him like a monster. It’s shame that usually keeps these things in the dark, where they can fester. Remember, he’s not a bad man, he just needs to bring these things to light and find out why he’s drawn towards this sort of stuff, and hopefully diffuse it.
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Name : Mark22105, Gender : M, Age : 24, City : Outer Space, State : CA, Country : United States,First of all he is absolutely lying.. I don’t know of anybody else, but I sure the hell do not copy any spam period, I delete it immediately. I am a photographer and collect as part of my collection some forms of erotica, so I search certain forums that contain nudes and some porn. If I come across child porn, I use a file shredder and block that posters threads from showing up in my listings. I run a program called Evidence Eliminator after every time I log on to a forum. Not that I have anything to hide, but I want to make sure that there is no trace of any illegal photos (accidentally opened), nobody with any computer sense would download and keep cp, it is very illegal and there is a huge law enforcement effort to track it down. They put people in jail big time for possessing it in any form. You can get a program that he will not be able to see, that will log his keystrokes. You need to have a serious talk with him and get to the bottom of this, immediately !!! Especially if you have children in the house or he is in a position to be around children. There are many people that look at cp for whatever reason, but never touch a child. Maybe it is the forbidden fruit or reliving childhood fantasies. What were the pictures of? If they were of 16 year old girls with full make up, full breasts and a full bush (although considered cp and very illegal) I would not be as concerned. If they are of little girls/boys with adults and/or being tied up or hurt, BE VERY CONCERNED… But whatever, do not let him lie to you anymore about it ! Confront him and let him know that you love him but he can get help or he can get arrested.. His choice…
User Detail :
Name : Ken26427, Gender : M, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 40, City : Peoria, State : IL, Country : United States, Occupation : sales, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,
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