Dare To Ask Talk And News About Our Differences - This topic has 14 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 10 months ago by
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Why do black women find it necessary to look me up and down and then back up again? Some white and Hispanic women do this, too, but black women do it almost all the time. I think it’s so rude. What is it?
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Name : Julie, Gender : F, Race : Black, Age : 33, City : Woodbridge, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Gov't Contracting, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,That depends. If a woman, not necessarily a black woman, blatantly looks you up, down and then up again, you may not want to know what they could be thinking. Who cares? As long as you’re a good person, does it really matter? However, if she’s discretely checking you out, she may be checking out your outfit, hair, etc. Now that’s when I don’t mind being checked out!
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Name : Lynn-H22491, Gender : F, Age : 30s, City : Louisville, State : KY, Country : United States, Occupation : Medical,I know what you are talking about, because I’ll be walking through the mall and there will be a black female or group who look at me as if they think I think I’m so cute, or staring at my head as if I have a cockroach laying eggs in my hair. I think to myself, ‘What are you staring at?’ is there a smashed tomato on my forehead? So there must be something interesting about you if you receive so many stares – especially if you appear classy and well put together, then blacks will stare.
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Name : Cocoa31982, Gender : F, City : Tampa, State : FL, Country : United States,As a black woman, I have to say that I look other women over because more often than not, they’re wearing something I really would like to own. I’ve also found black women to be psychotic homophobes who, when you compliment them, automatically think you’re gay. You can’t win and you can’t lose.
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Name : Shu, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 19, City : Rosslyn, State : VA, Country : United States, Occupation : Student, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Upper middle class,I don’t mean to be a smart ass – well actually, I do – but perhaps if you weren’t so busy looking around to see who’s looking at you, then you wouldn’t actually see anyone looking up and down at you. People look at people all the time. If I happen to look up and see someone looking at me, unstead of getting all huffy about it, I take their looking at me as a compliment – and smile. Nine times out of 10, they smile back at me, we have a nice exchange of words, and guess what? Turns out that the person who was staring was admiring something I was wearing, or admiring my hair or whatever. Do yourself a favor: take a deep breath, exhale slowly, get over yourself and stop being so damned childish and petty. You’re making not only a sexist issue out of this, but a racial one. Are you sure you’re 32? Humph … from the sound of your silly question, I thought you might be 13.
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Name : RhondaOutlaw, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Lutheran, Age : 41, City : New York, State : NY, Country : United States, Occupation : Account Representative, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I think it’s jealousy, or something I’ve seen among blacks on many levels of the ‘socioeconomic’ ladder, a secret, unspoken competition. They see you and the game is on. You may not have known you were entered in a contest, but you are. They look you over to see if your shoes are the brand-de-jour, if your clothes are more expensive than theirs and so on, untill you’re judged a threat to their self esteem or not. If they deem you not up to ‘their’ standards then they seem to happily saunter on by with renewed self confidence. If by chance you WIN the unspoken competition, they may sniff the air and grumble on their way. If you’re aware of the world at all, you know that people get killed because somebody coveted something they had. Things like fancy shoes, a certain hot brand of jacket that year and even over sunglasses. I hope they post this. I can keep going, but I don’t want to waste my time if this is just going to be deleted.
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Name : Nathan20139, Gender : M, Race : Black/African American, Age : 40, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Occupation : Tech, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Lower middle class,I think you are paranoid. I am a brown woman and don’t think I stare overly much. I do think you should concentrate on yourself and not worry so much about what you believe others are doing. If they are staring, let them. How many times do you see these people anyways that they have such a profound effect on your life?
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Name : Cheron, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Baptist, Age : 30, City : Twin Lake, State : MI, Country : United States, Occupation : Data Entry, Education level : 2 Years of College,I see women of all races/nationalities doing this and it saddens me to no end. I think one of the fundamental reasons is, as women, we have forgotten that we are all in this together. Instead of banding and working together, we have directed our anger inwards toward each other. When we were fighting for women’s rights we experienced a commonality that is missing today. When this behavior rears it’s ugly head, we all have a responsibility to stop ourselves and remember we share a common bond.
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Name : MeriLyn, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 37, City : Williamsport, State : PA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,I am overseas and I notice the same thing from some black women here! Maybe it is because I am a black american (mixed with brasilian), but I find it very uncomfortable. The stares that I get come from mostly African women too! I am over here thinking that they all see me as their ‘sister.’ NOT! Even when I smile at them, I have had at least 4 to 5 African women stare me up and down, checking out my clothes, then stare at my face with cold meanness that I have never had from a black woman in the US. I think its envy, or something close to it to stare at another female like that, But Girl you just walk on and ignore that ignorance because thats what it is!
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Name : aj28976, Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Religion : Christian, Age : 30, City : kaiserslautern, State : NA, Country : Germany, Occupation : writer, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Maybe they are lesbians and want to get at that booty.
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Name : chris32135, City : waldorf, State : MD, Country : United States,I personally look everyone over, men and women. Being very fashion conscious, I like to observe the way others put their ensembles together. When something on a person strikes me, a compliment is sure to follow. This action is never meant to be insulting.
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Name : Chris, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Black/African American, Age : 37, City : Jackson, State : NJ, Country : United States,More often than not, if another woman looks a woman up and down, they are sizing up their competition. If they do it from within a group of two or more women, they are exhibiting the same behavior that can be witnessed in Lion prides. The females who already belong to the pride or cliques within that pride will size up any new or unknown lioness who comes near the group. They are sizing up their competition. It isn’t always confrontational or meant in malice. It is often some sort of complimentary action that means the woman doing the staring is admiring something on your person. If it’s at a party, or social gathering, where men in attendance will have the ability to pick & choose amongst the women attendees, then women look other women over to see what they are visually competing with within the room. They want to see what action, movement, or feature about that woman will cause her to be a threat to they, themselves, being approached at the party. Is she showing more cleavage, are her heels taller (making her legs look longer), is her hair neater, longer, straighter, curlier, etc.? And sometimes, at a social gathering, if a woman of another race comes in the room, it’s like a hyena coming close to the pack of lionesses. They feel that with the current state of racial affairs between Black men and White women, that a non-black woman is a threat to her ability to mate with her own kind at this function. They feel this woman may have the upper hand based on race alone because that is what is ‘IN’ now for Black men…so they look her up and down to hopefully instill a sense of uneasiness or trepidation…make her feel unwelcome or dissuade her from mingling with ‘their’ men…much as a hyena would feel amongst a pride of lionesses who seem posed and ready to strike. There are many reasons for this action, and I’ve seen ‘Uppity’ white woman do it, as well. Usually, the pretense behind the look can be discovered by simply smiling at the gazer. If they smile back, they were more than likely admiring something on your person. If they sneer, or look away, they were being rude and you should just ‘brush your shoulders off’ of that person and their tacky behavior. Don’t let it ruin your day. You shouldn’t really care what they think. Hold your head high and keep on doing what you were doing.
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Name : Raquel, Gender : F, Age : 31, City : Houston, State : TX, Country : United States,Do you always label people? You’re a black woman also,so maybe you can answer your own question.
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Name : Deb., Gender : F, Race : Black/African American, Age : 42, City : Rock Hill, State : SC, Country : United States, Occupation : Education, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,Recently i catch somebody doing it to me, and i felt bad, even though i know it happens all the time.There are few reasons why women do that. Firstly i think black women do it for fashion reasons. They look at how you are dressed, your hair style, infact everything. If you are really impressive they will straight away tell you.If not, well you might be a topic of the day. The second reason is when a person shows they don’t like you. Often when a person does not have issues with you, you would not even notice that they just looked you up and down. But when someone really does not like you, they will make sure that you notice it.Much as it feels terrible, it also gives you a chance to see where you stand with some women.
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Name : refilwe, City : johannesburg, State : CO, Country : South Africa,I get this sometimes too, and it really is just the Females that look at other females regardless of race but i do notice the african american females actually doing the whole up and down look while i see other races just looking and then usually looking away. im not sure what it means but one time at school it was dress up weird day so everyone was wearing ‘different’ things you would usually see. An african american girl came up to me and said ‘OHHHH HELLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW , You did NOT show up to MY school lookin like that’with her 3 other black friends. Of course I didnt say anything because well, outnumbered. I dont like that type of behavior and alot of black people have it.
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Name : Ak28789, Gender : F, Race : White/Caucasian, Age : 18, City : Portage, State : FL, Country : United States, Occupation : college, Social class : Lower class,
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