[Crystal]

Why is it that even men who are overweight or ugly expect to date/marry only slim, attractive women, and yet men call women who want to date/marry good-looking men ‘shallow,’ ‘superficial,’ ‘setting too high a standard,’ etc.? Why can’t women who keep themselves looking, smelling and feeling good expect the same in return from their men? I detect a double standard here.

User Detail :  

Name : Crystal, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Pagan, Age : 30's, City : Oakland, State : CA, Country : United States, Occupation : Office manager, Education level : 2 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Tess24718]

My theory on this is that men are more visually stimulated than women are. I think that we all are attracted to other people visually first, but I think women are more apt to stick around and discover things about men to love. Then you have to think about how any relationship makes you feel. People choose partners that are reflections of themselves. Many women don’t think they are very beautiful and men typically have a better self image.

User Detail :  

Name : Tess24718, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : Asian, Religion : Catholic, Age : 29, City : Seattle, State : WA, Country : United States, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Dan27348]

It’s hard for a man to talk about weight and physical attraction without sounding like a shallow jerk. I’ll make an attempt, though. There’s a lot of dating double standards out there. From what I’ve experienced, a woman’s preference for a man who is (much) taller is considered ‘natural selection in action’ and ‘the desire to feel like a woman,’ whatever that means. If a man expresses a preference for women who are not overweight, though, we are considered ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial.’ Have a look through some of the ‘women seeking men’ personal ads online sometime. You’ll find that most women are looking for men who are taller than they are. The majority of Denver-area women with online personal ads set an arbitrary minimum height limit of 6′, even when they are 5′ 2′ or 5′ 4′ tall. (Apparently ‘vertically challenged’ at 5′ 10′, I was never called ‘short’ in my life until I moved to Colorado.) Just as most women have a preference for dating taller men, the majority of men aren’t attracted to women who seem bigger than they are. I’m not necessarily seeking a skinny Calista Flokhart-like waif or a Barbie type. A few extra pounds, literally, doesn’t bother me — I’m not physically perfect, and I don’t expect my partner to be either. However, I’ve never been attracted to ‘rubenesque,’ ‘thick,’ ‘full figured,’ ‘plus-sized,’ ‘zaftig,’ or ‘cuddly’ women. I wish women would respect that fact, superficial at it may seem, just as I’m expected to respect the fact that I’m seen as ‘short’ to a woman who’s close to my height — we all have our preferences, whether we admit them or not. As for the less-than-desirable men seeking supermodels, well, I run across _lots_ of personal ads from ‘average’ and ‘full-figured’ women who are only seeking ‘athletic,’ six-foot plus men, some going so far as to mention income requirements. Being hypocritical and superficial is certainly not the sole domain of men.

User Detail :  

Name : Dan27348, Gender : M, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Unitarian, Age : 33, City : Denver, State : CO, Country : United States, Occupation : Professional, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Karen26758]

Could it be because there are simply more single women than single men? Men may just have more to choose from in terms of sheer numbers, while women may have to ‘settle’ for whatever type of man is available.

User Detail :  

Name : Karen26758, Gender : F, Race : Bi-racial, Age : 26, City : Terre Haute, State : IN, Country : United States, Occupation : Manager, Education level : 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class, 

[Phillip]

I think some men are basically insecure about others’ perceptions of them. They have developed a double standard of beauty that promotes their interests and deflects attention from their own perceived shortcomings. I believe men are responding to both biological and social imperatives. As animals, men seek members of the opposite sex who project health and physical fitness. They perceive these qualities as making the best mates, and the most likely candidates for bearing offspring. In our society, some men view these as qualities in a woman that make her a ‘prize.’ They think a man who is able to select and keep a mate with these qualities enhances his social status. In our society this is often true in the eyes of other men, and surprisingly, with women. When some men examine themselves, especially men who are not physically fit or who otherwise view themselves as unattractive, they perceive they will not make good mates. This challenges their biological and social drives, and makes them fear they will not be able to attract women. By fostering a double standard of beauty that applies only to women, these men project their self-concept on others, deflect attention from themselve and seek to explain away their inability to attract mates. It is sad that we have developed social standards that place physical beauty among our highest standards for evaluating others.

User Detail :  

Name : Phillip, Gender : M, City : Chesapeake, State : VA, Country : United States, 

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